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It’s not about you anymore

On the day my first child was born, a wizened older woman wagged her finger at me, and intoned, “It’s not about you anymore.” I really had no idea what she was talking about.


I had always starred in the little movie running in my head and hadn’t even had a glimmer that this would change. Having a baby though, upsets the cast of characters in your personal melodrama so extensively that you should not be surprised if you start to see a lot through your baby’s eyes. This will mostly be a thrilling experience as you relive the magic of your own childhood and rediscover play and wonder on a child’s level. Later, however, you may feel jealousy when you appreciate how much of life they have to experience and how, with your guidance, they can avoid any of the tribulations and disappointments you have suffered.


On another level too, much of your life now is tied to them and your responsibility to them. Forever now, their safety, their happiness, their emotional and financial security, will be at the back of your mind when you do anything as little as run to the store for a carton of milk. It’s both an awesome and simple responsibility.


 – Paul Banas
San Francisco, California