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5 Common Gay Dad Myths

Paul Banas
Author Paul Banas
Submitted 28-05-2008

Prejudices in society run deep against gay dads, leading to a lot of misconceptions and false expectations. If you are gay, you may believe in or be a victim of the following myths:



Myth 1: Gay men can’t be good fathers.

Fact: Gay men can be as good parents as hetero men.

Being a great dad has nothing to do with your sexuality. Parenting is about nurturing, caring, guiding your children, and being there for them when they need you.



Myth 2: Gay dads can’t love their wives.

Fact: Gay dads often do love their wives and can be caring husbands.

Most people assume that a guy with kids and a wife is straight. However, this is not true. Many gay dads take a lot of time to “come out.” In fact, it’s possible for someone to have a completely satisfying emotional relationship with a woman and still lust for other men. However, for many gay dads, but not all, a heterosexual relationship—sexually and emotionally—is not the same or as satisfying as one with a homosexual relationship.



Myth 3: Gay dads will have gay children.

Fact: Homosexuality is not proven to be genetic.

If you are gay, chances that your children will be gay are no more than if you were straight.



Myth 4: Gay dads should not “come out” and tell their children.

Fact: If you don’t, someone else will.

When your children are at the right age, it is fine to confide in them about your sexuality. But that does not mean describing your sex life. If you are open about your sexuality with your children, it will help them come to terms with their sexuality and learn to accept homosexuality. Help them understand that there are different kinds of families and people.



Myth 5: Dads who discover that they are gay should divorce their wives.

Fact: The decision to go for a divorce is not universal.

If you have told your wife that you are gay, it does not mean that you should seek a divorce. It is possible to stay together without having sex. Ultimately, the decision to seek a divorce depends on what works best for you, your partner, and your kids.

4 comments
Anton
Anton

Hey, that's really nice to know that there are other people who understand our problems. Being a gay dad, I completely agree that stereotyping about homosexuals has led to myths about gay men.

Mike
Mike

For the record, there are also dads, who are gay, who are married to their husbands and are wonderful, loving parents raising healthy, loving and adjusted children. There is a notion with your responses here, that all gay dads have wives and are closeted. Not so. As a father of twins, with a husband, I can attest.

Anton
Anton

Hey, that's really nice to know that there are other people who understand our problems. Being a gay dad, I completely agree that stereotyping about homosexuals has led to myths about gay men.

Mike
Mike

For the record, there are also dads, who are gay, who are married to their husbands and are wonderful, loving parents raising healthy, loving and adjusted children. There is a notion with your responses here, that all gay dads have wives and are closeted. Not so. As a father of twins, with a husband, I can attest.