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Keeping the passion alive post-fatherhood

Paul Banas
Author Paul Banas
Submitted 28-06-2008

Most couples find that the passion in their relationship dies down as time goes by and once kids come along, it can be difficult to remember what the word means.

Insomniac babies, hyperactive toddlers who want their mom and dad out of bed by 06:00 and sheer exhaustion can put a real dampener on parents’ sex lives, but couples are no longer accepting that it has to be this way.

Seattle PI notes that there is now a wealth of expert advice out there for keeping the spark alive after fatherhood, such as Douglas Brown’s ‘Just Do It: How One Couple Turned Off the TV and Turned On Their Sex Lives for 101 Days (No Excuses!)’.

The newspaper spoke to the author and he noted that many people have realized that "sex is important" after seeing their parents’ marriages decline and fail once the romance was lost.

Meanwhile Kimberly Ford, the author of ‘Hump: True Tales of Sex After Kids’, notes that parents are aware that they cannot "have it all"; that juggling kids, work and a "white-hot sex life" is not always possible without a little extra effort.

Pamela Jordan, an associate professor in the department of family and child nursing at the University of Washington, suggested a few hints for couples to regain their mojo, beginning by taking care of themselves in terms of resting, exercising and eating healthily.

She also suggests that parents recognize the difficulties of spontaneous sex once kids are in the picture and schedule some time for intimacy.

Finally, Kimberley Ford told Seattle PI that parents should attempt to prioritize their sex life once in a while, rather than letting household chores, kids, or the latest baseball game take precedence.

In terms of when it is ok to recommence intercourse after the baby has been born, this depends on individual circumstances, but it has generally been recommended that couples wait for six weeks before putting this expert advice to good use.
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