Plenty of PDA that doesn’t get out of hand is good to show your kids. It’s important that they see what a loving relationship looks like, and that also includes supporting and helping your spouse in ways they can clearly see. Try to think of it in terms of the type of future wives and husbands you would want to see them become, or be attracted to.   

I joke with my kids that “Daddy is always right and he never lies.” This has become our mantra whenever I actually do know the answer to a question. The kids delight in proving this rule incorrect, and reminding me of the (rare) times when I got it wrong. Kids will always think you’re infallible, at least until age 12, but that doesn’t mean you can’t admit your mistakes, sometimes even when it means that you have to apologize.

When you look back in your own life, many of your memories are likely things that you did with your parents over and over, like attending baseball games or celebrating Thanksgiving. Over the long haul, kids will remember less what you said to them and even less your good intentions, than the experiences you shared together. Make a conscious effort to create memories with your kids. That does not have to mean an expensive vacation, but instead doing things together that have meaning for all of you.  

SMILE WHEN YOU SEE THEM

The Nancy Armato Rule

Antonina’s mother, Nancy Armato, is the ultimate child greeter. She smiles and beams and bursts with pride at the sight of her three children and her six grandchildren. No child who enters her home has any doubt whatsoever that he or she is completely welcome-there is no room for doubt.

Grandma Nancy’s hugs, kisses, compliments, questions about a new toy or shoes, recognition of a sterling report card, or her recalling a goal in a recent soccer game-all are part of her fabulous greeting. Every child gets his moment.

The children around her respond in kind. They feel so loved and welcomed by her that it literally and physically changes them. They open to her like roses bathed in the warmth of the morning sun. She adds a patina of grace to their lives when each one realizes they have given her reason to smile.

Watch your son walk into a room. What is the first thing he does?

He looks around at the faces watching him walk in. He is instinctively searching for the visual cues that tell him that he is welcome and a part of the family, that he is loved and wanted, and that he was missed while he was gone.

The easiest and simplest way to give him the approval and welcome he seeks is to smile when you see him. A smile instantly sets him at ease. A smile says, “Yes, I love you.”

A frown, or only a grunt of recognition, faint praise, or sheer disinterest, sends a message of dismissal.

Let your son feel welcome from the first moment he sees you. Let him know that he is loved and important to you, always and forever. When you see him, smile, and leave no doubt that at that moment he is the most important person in your world.

Find one on one child time and schedule it. Like every other important thing to get done, scheduling time your child is important. Even if it’s just 10 or 15 minutes with each child, it’s important to focus just on your child for short amount of time each day. That means no newspaper, no Blackberry, and no TV in the background.

Traveling with Teens

The protracted screech of a braking train is perhaps the only thing less pleasant than the thought of a no-escape vacation in close quarters with a teenager. Travel can bring out the worst in people and if you are going through a rough patch with your teenager, don’t expect a family vacation to bring out the Waltons in you. There are things you can do, however, to increase your chances of good holiday. Ask your teen to help plan the trip, and make sure it includes things he or she wants to do. Avoid long drives in the car. Allow time for more leisure activities like time in the pool, even if you’re in a “once in a lifetime” spot. Go easy on iPod and video game restrictions to allow everyone a chance to chill out. And, try to keep your own emotions and reactions in check and stop yourself from saying things out loud that will only create more conflict.

Summertime travel can sometimes feel like a sacrifice when each person can’t get exactly what he wants. Travel dynamics and logistics are not nearly as easy as when you were a couple without kids. But like a lot of things in life with kids, if you look at children as an opportunity rather than as an obstacle, you can find things to do together that are made even more special because you are seeing things through their eyes.

Give your child responsibility. Little kids need to gain independence, so it’s important to realize the things they can and cannot do. If they are ready to dress themselves, or take their dishes to the dishwasher, began to make that expectation. Experts say that teaching responsibility, not only can free you up, but is good for a child’s self-esteem.

Show them who’s boss. Kids need limits, especially as they navigate a new world around them. Good parents set consistent boundaries that are wide enough to let kids explore but that also tell them where to stop.

Lice is part of life, especially for parents of girls in kindergarten through about third grade. At our school, lice checks are always done in the morning, on dry-haired kids. Research, and practical experience, says that lice checks need to be done on wet hair. This is when you can see not only the nits (the eggs), but the actual moving lice which spread the epidemic.

living lice are the moving transmitters of the epidemic, and visual inspection found only 6 cases, while wet combing found 19. In other words, the odds of finding moving lice were about three times higher with wet combing.

[From Vital Signs - Combing Wet Hair May Be Best Way to Find Lice - NYTimes.com]

Happy nit picking. No one likes lice, but it’s just part of growing up.