Find one on one child time and schedule it. Like every other important thing to get done, scheduling time your child is important. Even if it’s just 10 or 15 minutes with each child, it’s important to focus just on your child for short amount of time each day. That means no newspaper, no Blackberry, and no TV in the background.

Someone may have recommended this book to you, or you may even get it for Fathers Day:
Reading with Dad.

A Great Father’s Day Gift for a Dad Who Reads to His Kids

Tuesday June 9, 2009
If you are looking for a Father’s Day gift for a dad who has always enjoyed reading books to his kids, I highly recommend Reading With Dad. While written in verse and designed in picture book format, this is a gift book for adults rather than a children’s book. The text by Richard Jorgensen and the loving illustrations by Warren Hanson celebrate the love between a father and a daughter that is experienced through the act of reading together. Beginning with the father reading to his young daughter, the book continues through her growing up years to the daughter reading aloud to her own children while still continuing to read with her dad. The book ends with her reminiscing,

[From A Great Father's Day Gift for a Dad Who Reads to His Kids]

Here’s my review of it:

My daughter got Reading with Dad and as the dad who had to read it to her, I’d have to say that I disagree with this review. The book is written in sing-songy verse and ends with dad dying and the reading of a biblical verse. If you want to spend 15 minutes thinking of how it will feel to watch your child grow up while you get old and die (while reading bad poetry), be my guest. Most of us prefer something more uplifting.

“Am I a crazy MOM? Taking my teen girls to get their belly buttons pierced today..I secretly want mine done to.” (Tweet posted by 247Moms 5 minutes ago)

Am I a crazy DAD for finding this Tweet alarming. I must admit, I didn’t at first see the “teens” part. Still, piercing of any sort seems to be a major Rubicon of adulthood that I can’t imagine participating in. I keep pushing my nine year-old daughter’s ear piercing back. When she was five, I’d say seven, now I say 12. Who knows what I’ll say when she asks again in six months.

Should stay-at-home moms expect dad to share in the housework?

[From Should stay-at-home moms expect dad to share in the housework? | Freep.com | Detroit Free Press]

They don’t provide any answers, but I like the question. Some of the moms who commented are very militant about it being dad 50/50 once he gets home since he makes 50% of the mess and only works 8 hours while mom works 24/7. That sounds like such an old paradigm. Most dads who work 8 hours (does that exist) then come home and do stuff with the kids, for the kids, and for the family. They might not do 50% of the housework if their wife is staying at home, with all the sacrifice that implies, but most men today are “pulling their weight,” even if that doesn’t mean cleaning 50% of the toilets. When a decision is made that one person is going to stay at home, it’s good to discuss all these issues since there can be a lot of expectations on both sides. Some men will expect their wife to become a ’50s style housewife who does everything and cheerfully serves a martini at 5PM. Others will want to chip in with a big percentage because they know how frustrating staying at home can be, in addition to the rewards of being with the kids. Some men will wish they had the extra income back to hire outside help and take the burden off both parents for doing the drudgery of housework and cleaning. If one person wants to stay at home and part of that is financial cutbacks for cleaning help, who should bear the extra housework burden

The more families discuss it beforehand, the easier it will be once they are in the thick of it.

Your opinion?

Lisa Belkin gives a good round-up of where Mother’s Day money is spent and what mom’s really want. She also lists the worst presents, toting up examples of just plain dumb stuff, like long term care insurance or socks. Wow, that is stupid.

She sums up with her own conclusion, which would probably go for most dads I know (or at least this one).

What do I want for Mother’s Day?

To have someone else cook dinner. To get hugs from my boys — even the youngest who doesn’t like giving them so much anymore. And to take a long afternoon nap — without anyone noting whether or not I snore.

[From What I Don’t Want for Mother’s Day - Motherlode Blog - NYTimes.com]

After the weekly existential grind of carpools, and lunch-making, and allery medicine, and picking up dirty clothes, we all just want a little peace and quiet. Not time away from the family, but time with the family where we don’t feel that we still have to empty the dishwasher or put the wash in the dryer or even turn the burgers over on the grill. Just for one day…to live a TV family version where everything is in it’s place and food is magically on the table with kids magically washed and dressed, all set to say Happy “whomever’s” day.

I got a ticket on Friday night with both kids in the car. It was my daughter’s birthday and we were driving through a small suburban town, with a half-eaten cake sitting in the drivers seat. The ticket was one of those speed-trap type tickets where the goal was more to increase city revenue than to stop any real law-breaking. It was my first ticket in 25 years, so I ran it around my mind quite a few times, both to myself and aloud. At one point, I said to my eight year old, “What lesson can we learn from this event?” She replied, “Daddy, don’t even look for a lesson. This was clearly unfair and not your fault. I don’t want you thinking that you should learn something from this.” Actually, I was thinking about what the kids could learn, but I guess I was also yearning to have some reason for my bad luck.

So, what do you say when “bad things happen to good people?” Is it just, “life is unfair,” which my father used to tell me all the time. Do you try to communicate that the world is a basically a just place, with exceptions to prove the rule. Or perhaps, if you want careful, suspicious offspring, that the world is out to get you. I don’t know the answer. All I know is that I’m out $300 and a few hours for traffic school and now have a 4 year-old who says he now “hates the police,” and an eight year-old who just had a funny lesson in justice

On a side note, I’m afraid more fines for nuisance “crimes,” stricter enforcement on silly infractions, and more meter maids are in our future for a long while until the economic pendulum swings back the other way. I’m not a Libertarian, though I might become one if states and municipalities massively increase their use of police power as a revenue tool.