In need of serious help

[hazmat]

I am new here and have read quite a few of the posts and topics.

Brief background on my wife and I. We got married real quick (just over a year ago), have known of each other for awhile but really got to know each other for 2 months prior to marriage. In the last year, we have had to go through the dating thing, moving to another city (brother in law moved in which is ok because he was and is a best friend), having to find another job (which I managed to do fairly quick considering the economy), purchased a home and now she is pregnant-planned. We dealt with a lot of stuff early on all the way through to the present. I consider myself a good person and have always thought I would make a great husband and father but now I catch myself really guessing myself. Im a pretty calm person but when my wife and I argue it has always and still goes to levels I have never thought I would get to (nothing close to physical, would never lay a hand on her). Our fights have ranged from stuff about emails, to questioning myself on whether or not Im a man and me questioning her on being a wife. Im at wits end.

This seems like a whine session but I hope its not taken that way. She has been pregnant for 7 months. At first I was able to be patient, we talked through problems much better and things seemed to be going ok. I was excited yet she always kept that in check and would tell me to not be too excited. I have helped around the house, cleaning kitchen, her laundry, grocery store runs, tell her nice things but all I have gotten back is critiscm or rude remarks. Granted I dont do it perfect most of the time but everything stays reletively clean. Now I can be difficult in the way that I jokingly get under peoples skin when I want but I really have made it an effort to do that.

I have also made it a point to offer to go to every appointment, stay invlolved regarding items for our baby girl, massage her, basically make it a point to take care of her and make her as comfortable as possible. Most of the times she would get items, pick out everything without including me, go to appointments and almost seem like she is trying to keep me on the sidelines.

So we went like that for a few months,, eventually it took its toll and crap hit the fan. She changed some passwords, said she wanted seperate accounts and bills
and well I really lost it. In the worst way, to the point that i said I wanted a divorce. We talked it out and explained where we were coming from and I got yelled at for pulling that crap when pregnant (rightfully so). For a month it went well but still its been all on me to not say a word or its a fight, never anything pleasent from her. Lately its been rougher then ever, from complete disrespect to be told how little I am liked, how hated I am and she doesnt care and I just finally tried to call her out on it. Pointing out its either a hormone thing or she is just not in love anymore. Didnt get a straight answer but its worse then ever and the baby is two months a way. Ive suggested counseling but she said we were smart enough to do it ourselves, I dnt think we are.

Just at a loss on what to do or say. I have gone to her calmly trying to explain where I am coming from and trying to see where she is but she just avoids the topic. My fear is divorce is imminent but I do not want to be one that gives up and I want to be there for my child 24/7. She has mentioned she feels I treat her horribly and am just an a$$ and do not try in anyway to better us. I asked her bro what he felt on how I treat her and he completely disagreed with her.

[waylontime@gmail.com]

I think that most men deal with some of the issues you are but not to the extreme. You and your wife took an oath to each other when you got married and i have a feeling you guys did not say unless we start to fight and we think we are being an a$$ to each other. I feel the divorce word is very hurtful because it spawns feelings of abandonment. How are you two blowing off steam? Are you and her exercising? If it gets bad enough then help would be the best option. I don't think it is any way saying you guys are not smart its just skills you can use to communicate. As I'm shure you do something for a living and you are better at what you do then someone try to do it on their own.


I hope to hear your reply and this helps.

Waylon