| Our friend, RJ Jamarillo is offering coaching for single dads on subjects ranging from custody to what to make for dinner tonight. He wants to share what he’s learned as a single dad with three kids.
SingleDad Coaching is Live! from RJ Jaramillo |
||
|
|
|
SingleDad.com is offering coaching – 15 minutes free
March 18th, 2010Why you should NOT raise a reader
March 18th, 2010Everyone tells you to raise a reader. Read to them when they are babies, read them stories every night, model reading behavior. A great, or even good dad, will devote hours in slavish devotion to this idea. Well, here’s one dad who will tell you what the evil publishing scientists and lobbyists won’t: reading isn’t fundamental; it’s fundamentally mental. Teach your child to read and you’re in for fifteen years of hardship and maybe even more. Here’s why:

- Image via Wikipedia
1. Reading with your kid eats up precious time. “Lost” is on at 8PM where I live. Enough said.
2. Nightly reading isn’t a good habit. It’s an expensive addiction that will only lead to more books and larger books. Books that will bleed a family’s budget dry and consume short-in-supply storage space faster than a collection of restaurant napkins. If they must read, start them early at the public library, which was invented to help the addicted and afflicted.
3. Teach a child to read and you lose them forever. If I have to say, “Put that book down and watch this football game with me,” one more time, I will scream. Books interfere with things you could be doing together. Don’t get me started on how hard it is to clean off books soaked in mashed potatoes when read at dinner time.
4. Book-reading kids are sassy know-it-alls. At ten, my child should know exactly ZERO more than I do. It does no one any good if she can name the capitol of California, when I know it’s Los Angeles. Book reading children extract every advantage they can get and will trick you out of ice cream cones and cookies if you bet with them.
5. Book readers don’t listen and they hide behind the immersion in a book to avoid household chores like cleaning the furnace or hosing down the cats. “Let them read,” is society’s way of giving up on the problem and allowing book-reading to expand unchecked.
6. Book reading leads to to writing. Writing can lead to poetry, short stories, and even fiction. These are not healthy pursuits for young bodies and minds.
7. Reading leads to higher education. It has been proven that higher education leads to penury. And if not penury, a career waiting tables “while waiting for that big break.” Education is just a big hole. Not since the 19th century has anyone even hoped they could learn it all and dominate the subject.
So, there you have it: as cogent an argument against reading as I can muster. Let them read if you must, but monitor the practice more carefully than if you saw them reaching for a pack of Salems. This stuff is dangerous, it grows like bamboo, and it lasts a lifetime.
Related articles by Zemanta
- After the Love Has Gone: Read-Aloud for the Young and Restless (planetesme.blogspot.com)
Thanks, but I’ll pass. – Chef creates breast milk cheese
March 9th, 2010Seven more quotes and epigrams about dads and fatherhood
March 9th, 2010A truly rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty. -Unknown
Any man can be a father. It takes someone special to be a dad. ~Unknown
A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Unknown
It is much easier to become a father than to be one. ~Kent Nerburn, Letters to My Son: Reflections on Becoming a Man, 1994
The days are long and the years are short. – Unknown
And the one dads have been saying for all time:
It all goes by so fast.
At age 6, funny twists on words my son still says
March 9th, 2010You gotta love kids and the stuff they say based on what they hear and how they put together a dictionary of stuff in the world.
Some of the following words are not only understandable, they actually make for a better choice than the original.
1. Webbins – He’s a boy and he’s 6, so as much as we’d rather he wasn’t continuously jumping on the furniture making ak-ak-ak noises, he likes things that explode. Hopefully, he’ll be a webbins inspector and not a webbins trader when he grows up.
2. Valentimes Day – Most kids say this one for a while and it’s very cute, summing up a period of time rather a specific day.
3. Moat control – Ah, some days I wish that my remote control actually had this functionality as well.
4. I “sawr” it and “sawl” it. Maybe it’s his East coast roots, one generation removed, but sometimes my son sounds like he’d be more comfortable in Havahd Yahd.
5. Hermos – I guess if it kept little girls warm, rather than drinks, it could be a “her-mos,” but in this case, he almost has it right.
And finally, and my favorite, “Canimals.” These, of course, are camels. We’ve been playing Indiana Jones Wii a bit since the holidays and the scenes with “canimals” get him quite excited.
Like a lot of things about your kids growing up, I regret not having written more of them down. But it’s impossible to capture it all. Instead, you have to enjoy being the moment with them, without taking time to scribble their latest antics into Twitter. Otherwise, you miss it all.
What are your favorite malapropisms from your own kids?
2009-2010 Car seats compared – New Clek Oobr
March 8th, 2010We’re doing a roundup of car seats unveiled at the 2009 ABC Kids show, the major annual convention for baby and kids products. This year, the biggest story on car seats in general was in side impact head protection. While car seats have made major advances, this is still an area where more technology can save young lives. There were also at least 2 new seats developed to evolve with a child from 20 pounds to 100.In this series, we will look at the following seats:
1. Graco Nautilus 3-in-1 (previously reviewed)
2. Britax Parkway SG (previously reviewed)
3. Safety 1st Complete Air car seat with Air Protect (previously reviewed)
4. Evenflo Symphony 65
5. Clek Oobr
The Clek Oobr is hands down the car seat that kids will prefer out of this bunch. While the others are functional and some even sleek, the Clek Oobr is of its time. It’s hot. It’s fashionable. It inspires awe. And, it’s a pretty good booster as well.

Unlike the other seats in this review series, this seat only functions as a booster, so usually for kids at least 4 years of age. While some suggest using boosters until they reach 4′9″, (tall enough to not slip under the belt), from 8 – 12 years old. Others say that booster use should continue to age 12. This likely will depend on the size of the child and, realistically, their willingness to stay in booster seat. My daughter at age 10, loves her Clek Ollie booster (backless) and enjoys the fact that it sits her up higher in the car. She also like the design and that is a key benefit of the Clek seats for enticing design-oriented kids (you know who you are!) to use the booster.
We’ve been using the Clek Oobr with the monkey design pictured here for a few months. My son (6) has two or three Paul Frank shirts and he’s a big fan of the big happy monkey. He likes the fact that this is “his” chair.
We like that the seat is super-sturdy. There is no plastic-y feel about it. It is built like a piece of steel, magnesium actually. It was designed by auto seat designers to be super-sturdy and protective. Unfortunately, that makes it very heavy compared to simpler seats. We’re grateful it almost never leaves the back seat. It has a cupholder and reclines slightly but these are not key features, but nice to have.
The seat also features a tracked reclining system that reclines the seat 12 degrees, which is a noticeable difference you will appreciate if you have a dozing child for more than a few miles.
The seat is also covered with Crypton® fabric. I have no idea what this is made of, but it really works. The other day, my six year old dropped his chocolate ice cream on the seat and onto the floor. I had to get a towel to wipe up the mess which seemed to be all over the place. The only place in the car though, where there was no trace later on, was on the Oobr.
We had challenges in installing the Oobr in our Audi wagon using the Latch system to attach the booster securely to the car seat. After a bit of wrestling, we figured out that we needed to put the seat in the full reclining position to expose the latch brackets fully so they can more easily click into the car’s latch system. As I learned from Clek several years ago, the Oobr (and Olli) latch system is a security feature for passengers when the child is not actually in the seat. In the event of an accident, you do not want a 25lb. car seat flying around the car and very few people buckle the seats down when empty. This is a key benefit for the Oobr, since it’s the only booster (without harness straps) that uses the latch system.
Pros:
- Beautiful seat with optional Paul Frank monkey design adored by millions of kids, moms and dads.
- Dissembles for use later as backless booster. Remember to keep kids in booster with back on as long as they will tolerate it for maximum safety.
- 12 degrees reclining.
- Crypton® fabric really does protect against stains.
- Exists in lots of exciting colors and Paul Frank designs.

Cons:
- This thing weighs over 25 pounds. It’s a heavy seat if you need to move it very often and I wouldn’t recommend it for anyone who is even thinking of being pregnant while using it for another child.
- Oobr’s LATCH system may be challenging to some to install until you figure it out. It’s not hard, but you can’t just throw it in the backseat.
- Easily $200 more than other serviceable boosters, the Clek Oobr is certainly not for everyone.
Product Dimensions: 18 x 17.5 x 27 inches ; 19 pounds
Shipping Weight: 26.1 pounds
-
GreatDad.com Review Policy: The featured product for this review was provided to us, at no cost, by the manufacturer or representing PR agency for the sole purpose of product testing. We do not accept monetary compensation for reviewing or writing about products. We only review products that we have personally tested and used in our own homes, and all opinions expressed are our own.
Piling on – Air controller dad loses job when kids do his
March 8th, 2010It’s hard to believe with all that’s happening in the world, but this story has dominated the TV networks every day.
An air traffic controller’s stunt in letting his 9-year-old twins direct planes has landed with a thud – on the kids.
The brother and sister are blaming themselves because their father has been suspended for bringing them to work at Kennedy Airport, a relative said Thursday.
“The kids are upset,” Glenn Duffy’s brother-in-law, Larry Johnstone, told the Daily News. “They feel it’s their fault … They’re thinking, ‘Daddy’s in trouble because of me.’”
[From We cost Dad his job! Kids who took over for Kennedy airport air traffic controller blame themselves]
Was it the horrible travesty and violation that Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood suggests? Or was is just a typical “Bring your Child to Work” day?
My knee-jerk opinion was “mountain out of molehill,” but have come to agree with Ray LaHood that this is more than just bad judgment on the dad’s part. It wasn’t a case of him just bending the rules a little, and while nothing the kids did put anyone in danger, it showed a carelessness that could creep in if higher standards of security aren’t kept. As people in other professions have mentioned, would you want a cop’s child calling in crimes on a police radio? Would you want a surgeon asking his daughter to help prep a patient? There are lots of professions where this wouldn’t be an issue, but in these cases, kids need to get a simulated lesson on what daddy does at work, rather than bring them to really sit in.
But does it warrant five days of news coverage? More like a slap on the wrist for the dad and everyone back to work.
Mini-Review – Pocket Doodles for Kids – a good book for a plane ride
February 26th, 2010Pocket Doodles for Kids is a fun book for kids who like to draw. When my daughter first saw this book at nine, though she fancied herself a budding an artist, it was hard for her to know what to do. At almost 10 though, she had a a lot of fun with it.
The principle of the book is simple. It’s a lot of half-finished drawings that give just enough detail that a young artist can add on to complete the picture. Depending on the artist, the end result can be a funny cartoon with a caption or just a completed drawing. This is not a coloring book, but a good idea starter for young (or older) illustrators.
We had this small book on a plane ride to grandma’s and it was a good distraction.
Sex after pregnancy – a national magazine wants to know!
February 19th, 2010Here is a reporter’s query from a national magazine doing research for an upcoming story on sex after pregnancy. Rarely do you see such frank talk about sex after pregnancy, albeit posed as questions. This query, quoted below, poses questions that a lot of men ask themselves. Sex after pregnancy is a topic almost never discussed between men, lost as it is in all the changes including loss of sleep, heightened sense of responsibility and pride of fatherhood.
I would like to hear from moms with newborns (as well as moms with older children, for comparison) about how they feel or felt about sex for the first year or two after childbirth. In particular, I’d like to know:
- Did your desire diminish or disappear entirely? (FYI, this is totally normal; hence this story…)
- Did you expect to feel the way you did about sex after the baby? Did anyone prepare you for this?
- Did your partner’s interest in sex change at all?
- Did you realize that couples who have sex less than 10 times a year are considered to be in “sexless marriages” (which would mean many postpartum couples are indeed in sexless marriages)?
- If you find yourself with a baby and little or no sexual desire, when (if ever) would you seek help? Or do you assume this is something that will remedy itself as your child grows older? Moms with older children are invited to weigh in with their wisdom/experiences, particularly if they experienced a sexual lull but have managed to overcome it.
I hope this is an extensive story. The changes in the dynamics of a couple’s relationship with the addition of kids are important to explore. Otherwise, all involved continue to have different expectations of what is “normal” for other couples in their evolution from adolescents to adults to parents. The worst thing for a marriage is a nagging feeling that changes aren’t inevitable and that your particular situation is different than everyone up and down the street.
7 Ideas for healthy snacking for kids based on Food Rules by Michael Pollan
February 13th, 2010Jane Brody again has another immensely readable and helpful column in the New York Times that summarizes Michael Pollan’s newest book, Food Rules.
The article is worth a read once a week, or maybe even once a day, because our entire culture really is constantly reminding us to break those “rules” of good nutrition. “Have a syrupy drink. Munch a crunchy oily snack. Eat a sugary cookie. Maybe just one. You deserve it.” The best parent is fighting a continuous battle to teach good eating habits at least while the kids are at home, not too raise scrawny lactose-free vegans who can’t eat anything and look like it, but to raise kids who develop a taste for things that are good for them, rather than those that just fill them up fast. 
I particularly liked Ms. Brody’s (and Pollan’s) suggestions on snacking, one of the worst of our daily habits.
Although the most wholesome eating pattern consists of three leisurely meals a day, and preferably a light meal at night, if you must have snacks, stick to fresh and dried fruits, vegetables and nuts, which are naturally loaded with healthful nutrients. I keep a dish of raisins and walnuts handy to satisfy the urge to nibble between meals. I also take them along for long car trips. Feel free to use the gas-station restroom, but never “get your fuel from the same place your car does,” Mr. Pollan writes.
Personal Health – Food Rules From Michael Pollan Worth Following
I have to say that I fall victim to a cliché we’ve seen over and over on TV. Kids come home from school. They are hungry. Of course, they should have cookies and milk. Because that’s what I’ve seen on TV hundreds of times and I think it’s what a good mom or dad does for their kids. That’s actually where my mind goes when they come home and complain that they are hungry. I literally have to stop and think twice and then suggest something else on some days.
Some suggestions for healthy snacking:
1. Freeze plain yogurt and frozen or fresh fruit in popsicles. It’s amazing how form factor affects young appetites. Avoid the yogurts that are filled with gelatin and extra sweeteners.
2. Buy different dip-friendly vegetables and leave out where kids can grab them. You might have to leave out 3-4 options like celery, carrots, pea pods and broccoli to see what gets eaten, but, if that’s what’s out, they might surprise you. Cream cheese, while still 50 calories for a tablespoon is still a kid-friendly lower-fat though it has a bit more fat than regular old cheddar cheese at about 35 calories for a tablespoon. We’ve had to develop a change of habit when it comes to vegetables. A little more gets thrown away, but a lot more gets eaten if I prepare a little bit in advance so I can often set out a bowl of cut up yellow or red peppers, some snow peas, some carrots and some celery. Give them lots of choices and find stuff they can use as dip, like peanut butter or….#3 next:
3. Try hummus, which often comes in different flavors. Some kids will eat a boatload of this healthy mixture of crushed chick peas, olive or canola oil, a little salt (100 mg. for 2 tablespoons), lemon juice, some spices, and garlic. We usually get our hummus from Trader Joe’s which makes a natural blend with olive oil. It has about 70 calories for a 2 TBS serving. We recently tried Tribe Hummus which is all-natural as well, and comes in flavors like extra garlic and red pepper. It’s made with canola oil which is an oil low in saturated fat and has only 50 calories per 2 TBS serving. Look for natural options in your neck of the woods. The only drawback of this healthy food is that your kids might start farting very odiferous farts. It’s a small price to pay for healthier eating, especially if you have a distant rec room with good ventilation.
4. Leave out dried fruit as a substitute for candy. We like plain old raisins, but now, almost all fruits are dried up to make healthier snacks. The one caveat here is that many, especially those with health claims all over the box, use added sugar to make them even that much better tasting. We also tried more novelty items like Frutabu, which is a kid-oriented brand that makes eating “smooshed” fruit rolls look fun. My kids gobbled them down and asked for more. All the ingredients are natural and there is no added sugar that doesn’t come from the fruit. Sadly, the kids prefer the bright packaging and form factor, but I have to admit to hoarding a few of them myself.
5. While nuts are a calorie-high snacking food for adults, they are great for nutrition and some nutritionists suggest eating 10-20 almonds every day (around 100 calories). If your kids like nuts, this is a far better option than a bag of chips (and they don’t crush in a lunch bag. As with other nuts, be aware of choking hazard for kids under three, as well as the possibility of life-threatening food allergies.
6. Another option in small quantities is olives. Olives are concentrated in monounsaturated fats and a good source of vitamin E. Each olive is five to six calories so should only be part of a mix of other healthy snacks, especially since the sodium content is high at about 60 mg. per medium size olive. The USDA suggests a sodium intake of less than 2300mg. for adults and some doctors think that number should be lower than 1000mg. Most medium size olives are around 10 calories and about 75 mg. of salt.
7. Let them have ice cream or other sweets on occasion. At our house, it’s ice cream Fridays. Sure the kids would love ice cream every day, but they know (mostly) not to expect that will happen.
Don’t demonize eating the “bad stuff” or you risk kids fetishizing the foods that mom and dad think are so baaaddddd. It’s better to provide more healthy options and educate kids why the stuff you are giving them is good for their growing bodies.
I’d love to hear more ideas. Write me at Paul AT GreatDad . com or leave a comment below.


