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Leave it to Beaver for Dads
My eight year old loves Leave it to Beaver. There’s something naive about Theodore Cleaver she finds endearing, and she laughs at all the jokes. If you haven’t seen it in years, or maybe never have, it’s worth taking a look. Despite having been shot now 50 years ago, many of the situations are timeless. Communication between the generations breaks down, metaphors are misunderstood, kids misbehave, and most of it is harmless. And yet, there are still lessons for the modern dad. Almost every show nears its conclusion with Barbara Billingsly in the role of June Cleaver, saying to her husband (Hugh Beaumont), “Ward, don’t you think you’re being a little too hard on the Beaver.” And sure enough, dad has over-reacted to a small issue and usually sees that he has complicated something pretty small.
The episode I watched the other night (“Wally’s New Suit”) though had a line that summed it up even better. Ward, the dad, has been yelling at his son, Wally, and using examples of things he had lived through when he was a growing boy. He is frustrated because his son just doesn’t seem to be listening or benefitting from his hard-learned lessons. Eventually, the situation has to be undone by the mom coming in to find a face-saving solution for everyone. After Wally figures out the right thing to do, he tells his father, “I didn’t know you were trying to tell me something. I thought you were just yelling at me.”
Ward sums up what he’s learned, “You know, I think Wally has hit on something there. We yell at our kids tryng to make an impression on them them and all we accomplish is to get them to so confused they don’t understand a word we say.”
Sometimes a subtle reminder is all we need to be better dads and hold down the volume when talking to our kids. Leave It to Beaver is available on Amazon and Netflix.com.
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James Burns
Thank God for Nick at Night. You know that station that gives you shows like “Leave it To Beaver” or “Lassie.” I was watching Leave it To Beaver the other morning and could not help but notice how all the adults were called Mr. and Mrs. No Ms. back then. Of course Eddie Haskell was a bit of a phony when he addressed Beaver’s parents. Hello Mrs. Cleaver or hello Mr. Cleaver. Then he would run up to Wally’s room and refer to his dad as “Your old man.” The question I asked myself is what ever happened to Mr. and Mrs.? Even when I worked as a principal the students called me Burns not Mr. Burns. I listen to my kids refer to their friends mom or dad as Colleen, or Tony, or Rich, or Barbara. Lets face it respect is just not there any more. Everyone thinks that the ground is level. Is anyone in charge out there or is a kid our peer? The less respect kids have for the casual adults they come in contact with the less respect they will have for teachers, police officers, and yea their employers. Let’s see if we can turn the tide a little. Speak to the parents of your kids friends and call them Mr. or Mrs. especially in front of your kids. Let’s get our kids to show respect for folks that are older than they are and make them aware that the ground is not level, somebody is older, and smarter than they are and they should be treated that way. I have a dear friend who I have known for 25 years. He has four boys between the ages of 26 and 39. I have known them since they were teenagers and younger. They were calling me Mr. Burns up until 5 years ago. That is when I told them to call me Jim.
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