Comments on: A top obstetrician on why men should NEVER be at the birth of their child | the Daily Mail http://www.greatdad.com/greatdadblog/2008/05/14/a-top-obstetrician-on-why-men-should-never-be-at-the-birth-of-their-child-the-daily-mail/ Because dads don't always think like moms. Thu, 29 Dec 2011 20:02:23 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.4 By: James di Properzio http://www.greatdad.com/greatdadblog/2008/05/14/a-top-obstetrician-on-why-men-should-never-be-at-the-birth-of-their-child-the-daily-mail/comment-page-1/#comment-43 James di Properzio Fri, 16 May 2008 17:55:44 +0000 http://blogs.greatdad.com/2008/05/14/a-top-obstetrician-on-why-men-should-never-be-at-the-birth-of-their-child-the-daily-mail.html/#comment-43 When my wife went into labor with our second daughter, we were in the middle of a 2-foot dump of snow and whiteout conditions. We were planning to have her at home anyway, but even the midwives couldn't get there for the labor--the first arrived 5 minutes before the actual birth, the other afterward. My wife and I went through it together, and she said she felt as if I had saved her life, physically holding her up in the position she wanted to be in. Actually, I wish I'd had the chance to catch the baby myself, but then I wouldn't have been able to support my wife as she needed. I can't imagine missing out on the experience of the birth of my own child. I think this OB reveals a lot when he starts out portraying the 'disastrous' impact of seeing childbirth as harming the eroticism in the marriage. Involved as an OB for 50 years, he's quite old, two generations older than today's parents, and he hasn't really adjusted to a society in which women want men to be with them, supporting them during labor--and the men can handle it. I'm glad they gave him the space to express his opinion, which is in the minority today, and we should recognize that there are still some men for whom being at the birth doesn't work. But just because some people have stumbled while adjusting to a new way, doesn't mean everyone needs to swing back to the old way. No man is forced to attend the birth, nor should be. But for an OB to suggest that the man is a harmful presence? He's revealing his own prejudices. Look at the way he uses anecdotal evidence to scare in one place, elsewhere uses mythological language of the moment of love between the newborn and mom, and pseudo-scientifically invokes hormones even as he admits the issue hasn't been studied. Carefully reading his article is all that's needed to see the spurious reasoning in his argument that men be excluded from the birth room. When my wife went into labor with our second daughter, we were in the middle of a 2-foot dump of snow and whiteout conditions. We were planning to have her at home anyway, but even the midwives couldn’t get there for the labor–the first arrived 5 minutes before the actual birth, the other afterward. My wife and I went through it together, and she said she felt as if I had saved her life, physically holding her up in the position she wanted to be in. Actually, I wish I’d had the chance to catch the baby myself, but then I wouldn’t have been able to support my wife as she needed. I can’t imagine missing out on the experience of the birth of my own child.

I think this OB reveals a lot when he starts out portraying the ‘disastrous’ impact of seeing childbirth as harming the eroticism in the marriage. Involved as an OB for 50 years, he’s quite old, two generations older than today’s parents, and he hasn’t really adjusted to a society in which women want men to be with them, supporting them during labor–and the men can handle it. I’m glad they gave him the space to express his opinion, which is in the minority today, and we should recognize that there are still some men for whom being at the birth doesn’t work. But just because some people have stumbled while adjusting to a new way, doesn’t mean everyone needs to swing back to the old way. No man is forced to attend the birth, nor should be.

But for an OB to suggest that the man is a harmful presence? He’s revealing his own prejudices. Look at the way he uses anecdotal evidence to scare in one place, elsewhere uses mythological language of the moment of love between the newborn and mom, and pseudo-scientifically invokes hormones even as he admits the issue hasn’t been studied. Carefully reading his article is all that’s needed to see the spurious reasoning in his argument that men be excluded from the birth room.

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