I put the Houston Police Department in quotes, because it appears this is another example of the internet publishing a falsehood and republishing until it becomes true, as researched Snopes. As it turns out, the author could never be traced back to the Houston Police Department though several publications cited them as the “author.”

Here “the rules” are, and some of it them are funny in that patronizing way police or social services publications sometimes can be. They all, taken together, do seem like a good recipe for an not-so-great-dad. Taken like this, however, these rules are almost palatable and good advice, in their negation (12 things to avoid to produce “good” children” They are far more preferable to the “tough love” guidelines that advocate withholding all support and pleasure from young kids to toughen them up. I strongly believe that kids need as much love and attention as possible, and even coddling, to prepare them for the tough world they will encounter as they go along. That doesn’t mean protecting them from all disppointment and hard work, but always being there to pick them up when they fall down with a reassuring word.

12 Rules for Raising Delinquent Children

• Begin at infancy to give your child everything they want. In this way the child grows up believing that the world owes them something.
• When they pick up bad words laugh at them. This will make them think they are cute and encourage them to pick up cuter phrases that will blow your mind.
• Never give them any spiritual training. Let them wait until they are 21 and let them decide for themselves.
• Avoid using the word “wrong”. It may develop a guilt complex. This will condition them to believe later, when they are arrested for stealing a car, that society is against them and they are being persecuted.
• Pick up all they leave lying around the house, books, shoes, clothing. Do everything for them so they will be experienced in throwing all responsibility to someone else.
• Let them read any printed matter they can get their hands on. Be sure to sterilize the silverware and plates and dishes, but let their minds feast on all kinds of garbage.
• Quarrel frequently in the presence of your children. And that way they will not be shocked when the home breaks up later.
• Give the child all the spending money they want. And never let them earn their own. Why should they have it as tough as we had it?
• Satisfy their every craving for food, drink, and sensual pursuits. See that all their desires are gratified. Denial may lead to harmful frustrations.
• Always take your child’s side against the neighbors, teachers, and police. They are all prejudiced against your child.
• When they get into real trouble, apologize for yourself by saying, I never could do anything with them.
• Prepare yourself for a life of grief. For you probably will have it.

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Tags: Advice on raising kids

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