I don’t know if it can ever be said enough times how important dads are to daughters, but we can always use a reminder. This column got started when someone asked if a dad could spend too much time with his daughter. I doubt that’s very often the case.

• Girls learn how to relate to men by how they relate to their father. Dads also provide encouragement.

“His job is to be a safe male for her to experiment with her femininity … to learn she can be admired by a man without it boiling down to sex,” Erickson said. “Dad also tells her, for example, if she’s climbing a tree, to see how high she can climb.”

[From Dare to Ask: How much time should dads spend with their daughters? | Jacksonville.com]

I’d love to see more information on the link between women’s sense of self, security, and ability to create new relationships because of the role of fathers. Interestingly, the new season of the HBO show In Treatment features a woman who’s interpersonal relationships are hobbled because her relationship with her father is too strong, too cocooning.

Audrey Hepburn is my daughter’s favorite movie star. She has seen all her movies except for Breakfast at Tiffany’s, which we continue to think is just a little mature for her.
Funny Face, however, is one of her favorites. Though there are scenes of people smoking, most of it is pretty tame, though it is the kind of love story little girls love.

She has bought three books on Audrey Hepburn with her own money, very quickly realizing that they all use the same photos and have very little new to say. So if anyone is out there thinking of a great book to write for my daughter, an all-new story on Audrey Hepburn would be great. Her birthday is in March, so you have 45 days!

I just called up to my four year old son, asking him if he wanted soup with his lunch. His response? “No, thank you, daddy.” Now I suppose if I lived in the South, I’d be disappointed he didn’t say “sir,” but here in laid back California, just the “thank you” was a big reward for about 800 days of correcting and cajoling. Kids learn from repetition and consistency. We never let a request come without a “please” followed by a “thank you.” And, we let the kids correct us if we forget. It actually works. My eight-year-old wouldn’t think of skipping those words and she’s always invited for playdates.

I once heard that etiquette is not something you do so that you are following the rules and doing the right thing. You do it as a favor to the other person to put them at ease, to show your appreciation, and to show respect. These are all good lessons for kids. Will it make them actually feel these things? I can’t say for sure, but it feels good when you hear it and I doubt it’s a habit they’ll try to give up later.

Whether you like a “free-spirited” house or a well-disciplined machine, here are some good rules to keep for kids under five to make sure they are welcome guests wherever they go:

1. “Please” and “Thank you” are the basic currency of polite behavior. Adults will give a lot of slack to kids who say these two words.

2. No shoes on the couch or chairs. This is a particularly hard one to enforce if you let your kids use the living room as a winter season jungle gym. It’s hard to control that impulse, but a lot easier to create a no shoes zone that you always enforce.

3. Stand up and shake hands when you meet someone. This is hard for most kids who are timid around strangers. But what an impression it makes when a child knows how to greet someone.

4. No swearing – and that means you, Daddy.

5. Thank you cards are not a luxury – As of age 4, kids should know that we thank people in different ways for acts of kindness.

It’s often up to you as the parent to other families with like-minded values. It will easier to teach these and other lessons if your child at this age isn’t spending time with other kids who ignore the basic rules completely.