Tantrums, meltdowns, and hissy fits can be a nightmare for parents. DadLabs shows you how to throw them, and also how to deal with them.

A professional organizer shows DadLabs how to organize the home in preparation for a new baby. Create a great baby nursery and rearrange the kids room.

There’s a lot to like in this book review of
Cinderella Ate My Daughter (Peggy Orenstein) by Annie Murphy Hall in the New York Times. But the best part unquestionably is the answer to riddle of why little girls go through a pink phase. To many urban moms, especially, this is the first evidence of a taste gulf between mom and daughter, as little girls demand to be dressed up on anything that bears the tint of a well-worn piece of bubble gum.

Orenstein finds one such enlightening explanation in developmental psychology research showing that until as late as age 7, children are convinced that external signs — clothing, hairstyle, favorite color, choice of toys — determine one’s sex. “It makes sense, then, that to ensure you will stay the sex you were born you’d adhere rigidly to the rules as you see them and hope for the best,” she writes. “That’s why 4-year-olds, who are in what is called ‘the inflexible stage,’ become the self-­appointed chiefs of the gender police. Suddenly the magnetic lure of the Disney Princesses became more clear to me: developmentally speaking, they were genius, dovetailing with the precise moment that girls need to prove they are girls, when they will latch on to the most exaggerated images their culture offers in order to stridently shore up their femininity.” For a preschool girl, a Cinderella dress is nothing less than an existential insurance policy, a crinolined bulwark to fortify a still-shaky sense of identity.

[From Book Review - Cinderella Ate My Daughter]

When both of my kids, a boy and a girl, were this age, I would ask them, “Are you a boy or a girl?”
“Silly,” the girl would reply. “Of course, I’m a girl.” I would ask, “How do you know?” They both never mentioned any physical evidence; just “I just know.” My son never went through a “blue period” so we’ll never know if we was struggling with these identity issues in his own way.

The book itself is about how Disney and the kids industry, and even the child pageant capitalize on this insight. The book author, Peggy Orenstein, traveled to the annual Toy Fair to see for herself. I’m on a plane right now headed for Toy Fair 2011, and I’ll have her book on my mind as I enter, I’m sure, a sea of pink in some sections.

The review itself is worth a read.

DadLabs presents a money-saving DIY project as an alternative to a traditional changing table. Learn about installation and safety features.

DadLabs answers questions about shots and immunizations with the help of pediatrician and “Baby 411″ author Dr. Ari Brown.

DadLabs takes a look at eye health for kids and babies. Get the basics of what parents need to know about eye care for children.

Gymnastics is a great sport for younger children and gives them a chance to exercise and be active. DadLabs tries a gymnastics class and learns what to look for in their kids coaches.

DadLabs meets with a hair stylist to discuss getting your kid’s first haircut. Learn what to do to make this milestone comfortable for your kids.

Looking for an interesting alternative to traditional birthday parties? DadLabs suggests hosting a kids birthday party at a teppanyaki Japanese restaurant, which can make for a memorable outing for your family.

Melisa Holmes at Girlology.com and I were chatting over email the other day and she had plenty of wise words for parents of girls. Since we have a lot of gay dad friends, and not nearly enough gay dad content on GreatDad.com, I’m always interested in what experts say about gay dad fathering, as new an area of study as it is.

Her advice to gay Dads: Keep being a great parent—open, honest conversations and active listening are the best.  Don’t hesitate to jump on in, but not to feel bad if your daughter says you don’t understand. Most gay dads I know ( we have a lot of gay friends and know a few gay dads) have women in their lives that help their daughters with things that the daughter feels like a woman should help with (i.e. 1^st bra buying is a big one…helping learn how to use tampons….). Gay or straight, moms or dads – all girls and boys need an adult they can go to with those “awkward” questions.  Sometimes its an adult entirely outside of their family structure.

This is what I hear said quite a bit. Michael Gurian (Nature the Nurture and other books) once told me that he finds that gay families consciously or unconsciously integrate role models of the opposite sex. One benefit of this is that their kids have someone else to talk when they need a gender-specific point of view.

Gay parenting, as we now start to see, isn’t that much different than straight parenting, once you brush away the societal prejudices. It starts with diaper changings, feedings, and unquestioning love and attention, and evolves, like straight parenting to a real relationship that requires emotional support, honesty, and empathy.