It’s December 23rd and still time to answer a Craiglist ad for a new horse, pet pig, or used rabbit cage. Here’s our advice on six pets not to get:

1. Tarantula – Sure, they are cute, furry, and cuddly when you take them home, but wait until your son lays one on your face while you’re taking a post-football Sunday nap. Your heart attack won’t be as embarrassing as what you’ll do in your pants.

2. Snake – Yes, they also look great in the pet store when you’re thinking of how your ex-wife will react. But, trust me, they are a lot less fun when the wily creatures find a way out of the snake cage, free to wander through the walls and heating ducts of your house, ready to jump out at you.

3. Baby Croc – Ever hear of the alligators in the New York sewer system, some of which managed to crawl backwards up the pipes to take bites out of the rears of people sitting on the toilet. Even if it’s the goofiest urban myth imaginable, I still don’t like the image or increasing the probability of it happening.

3. Pony – Unless you have a driver to take your child to the stable a few times a week and a trust fund to cover the stable bills, this is not a gift any sane parent should consider.

4. Cat – Cats are the devil’s embodiment on earth, here to tease us while planting deep, dark thoughts in our brains, while they aren’t plotting to suffocate us while we sleep. Invite one into your home at your own peril.

5. Eboli Virus – It’s alive, active, and hard to kill. Sounds like a perfect pet for young kids then? Think again.

6. Dog – We love dogs. They are smart, loyal, and wonderful burglar alarms. But if you ever want to take another vacation, without a dog strapped to the roof a la Mitt Romney, think again. Even if you never vacation anywhere beyond car range, spending all your free time out walking a dog with a plastic bag of warm feces in your hand is no way to spend middle age.

7. Gerbil – Mess to clean with constant odor. They enjoy drawing blood from fingers just trying to pet them. Worse: a ferret.

Two suggestions:

1. Ant Farm – Ants make no noise and just eat through the jelly included in the ant farm. When they die, no one cries.

2. Miniature frogs – These frogs, like the ones from Wild Creations,

My kids think I’m a bad dad in our house on at least one score. I don’t let the kids play video games during the school week, and so far, we have not let them have a DS or other personal gaming device. We do let them play on the iPad, again on weekends. However, when it comes to video games, we mostly limit use to multi-player games on the Wii, which luckily are easy to find.

Many dads forget that there are still many electronic toys that captivate kids’ imaginations but don’t have anything to do with video. Here’s a list of a few that we like in our house, and still have the flashing lights, sounds, and movement to intrigue a ten year old.

1. Pinball – yes, pinball! It’s back among a lot of people as a classic game that works well for crowds and competition. There’s now a restoration market for pinball games, that were designed only to last a few years in a smoky barroom, but which can last a lifetime in a rec room. Maintenance is relatively cheap since the devices themselves are simple collections of wires, switches and cheap bulbs. For $500 you can pick up an old game that is fun to play and makes a great piece of modern art. We bought an completely refurbished game of High Hand and the kids, and their friends, love it! They are not maintenance free, but if you’re so inclined, can provide a decade of lessons in basic circuitry and a project for kids and dads to work on together. Most large cities have expert repairpeople if you need them.

2. Slot car sets – If you haven’t taken a look at these since you were 12, it’s time to take a look again. Now they are made with digital switches. That means you can have many cars on a 2-lane track. On our set from Carrera, you can have up to six cars, each with its own controller. With digital, the cars move from lane to lane at different switching points allowing for passing and intense action between cars speeding along limited real estate. The sets aren’t cheap, but about the same in 1980 dollars. Expect to pay around $300 for a good set that includes 2 cars.

You and your kids will be amazed how fun it is to watch the cars go around and around the track. Be prepared to squabble over who gets the “best” car, however, as well as a lot of jumping up and down as you chase cars that hit the turns a tad too fast. More cars and more controllers are on my own gift list for Christmas this year so I can finally compete with my 7 year old. He got permanent dibs on the Dodge Charger police car in our set while I have the surprisingly doggy Ford Mustang.

3. Remote control helicopters – These have been on the scene for about five years now, with the first ones completely unflyable. The early ones also had rotors that broke off during the first flight, ruining any father/child flying interlude and then costing at least a ten spot to repair. New helicopters, though, like the Military Thunder by Swann, use multiple flexible rotors that make flying a lot easier out of the box. With the older helicopters, I would wince every time my son took the controls, silently thinking, “well, there goes $30.” But this helicopter is really so easy a 7 year old can fly it (recommended age on box: 8 years). The secret is in the “twin counter-rotating coaxial rotors.” The instructions point out that you’d never build a real helicopter this way, but it does make a scale model that much more stable with less adjustments to “trim,” all while increasing lift. Kids love these helicopters! Good news, bad news is that you only get 5-10 minutes flight time with each 25 minute charge. Sometimes, though, dads like to limit break time from work or chores and this is a natural way to do it.

GreatDad Review Policy: The featured product for this review was provided to us, at no cost, by the manufacturer or representing PR agency for the sole purpose of product testing. We do not accept monetary compensation for reviewing or writing about products. We only review products that we have personally tested and used in our own homes, and all opinions expressed are our own.

One key thing all dads (and moms) should be looking at when choosing a new toy is whether dad is going to have fun with it too. Quite often this aspect is overlooked and the new toy that was meant to give so much joy becomes a source of conflict or frustration between a child who wants to spend more time with dad, and the father who can’t imagine playing “just one more game.” Here are some toys and games I’ve played with over the past year with my son who is now six years old, but would be good for kids 5+, including readers.

Citiblocs. – We’ve reviewed these simple pine blocks before. Because they are thin, you can use them to create all kinds of different structures, doubling or tripling up as needed. Dads can re-find the fun of construction. Sometimes, simple is just better.

Little Magicians from Haba – This memory game is surprisingly trick for adults because it includes a mechanism for changing up the simple clues we use to remember where things are (upper right, below the mark). The game is also only 15 minutes long even if everyone has a bad memory so dads aren’t locked into an evening of game play.

Lego – what dad-friendly toy list would be complete without a Lego. In this case, many six year olds can start to follow the directions by themselves, but construction can be more fun with two. I prefer things that when built, stay built. It’s frustrating for both child and dad to spend two hours building something to see it collapse in rubble within a day. Sometimes, kids want to break them down, but often times, the engineering just isn’t there to hold the toy together without some crazy glue. Lego also has a new set of games which require building the game board. Check out Harry Potter Hogwarts game, for example, which can be played without knowing how to read. We also like Lego Creationary, a Lego version of Pictionary, where a player builds what he sees on a card while other compete to guess what it is.

Perplexus – We love the new Perplexus, a new toy that takes the old Brio Labyrinth to the third dimension. Perplexus is a clear plastic globe, with a labyrinth inside. It requires turning the 1 foot in circumference ball over and over to move the ball through a series of maze boundaries and obstacles. Perfect for developing space and motion skills in a six year-old or 40 year-old, this is a toy you and your kids will fight over. Blissfully, turns are very short since it’s hard to keep the ball in play before it falls off a ledge. That doesn’t mean that it’s too hard to be fun. Each challenge is eventually easy to overcome and the player keeps on learning the trips and traps until eventual success.

We love magic for little kids because they feel like it’s their own special world and secret. And when you and your child are the only ones who know how you did it, it makes you feel closer. There are a lot of tricks that are easy to do that adults can’t figure out, and even more that are obvious for adults but mystifying to other kids. We like this set of magic from Melissa and Doug because it’s constructed out of wood rather than plastic and has tricks that don’t take a lot of dexterity to do well. Melissa & Doug Discovery Magic Set $11.99 at Amazon.

Right up until morning of December 25, there are still last minute gifts you can give to the mom in your life, whether she is your own mother, parenting partner or just a good pal. Here are a few ideas with the lateness of the hour in mind.

1. iTunes gift card – okay, it’s not the most romantic gift in the world, but iTunes gift cards are appreciated in a way that most other gift cards aren’t. They basically give adults the permission to be irresponsible with their money and blow it on worthless apps and bits and bytes masquerading as music. A $20 card says go and enjoy, and for once don’t worry about it. It’s a simple pleasure and has no weight or ill health effect, that anyone has found anyway.

2. Women and moms love spas. I don’t understand it and maybe you don’t either, but the spa experience makes for a perfect gift. I happen to know the spa my wife likes and I’ve driven over and bought certificates for her there before. Your mom might not go to a spa now, or you don’t know which one it is. And that’s where a new company called Spa Emergency (www.spaemergency.com) comes into play. They represent 3000 plus spas nationwide, and you can email a gift certificate, or print it out for last-minute giving. Certificates start at $25, which won’t get you too far in the spa world, but it’s a nice thought.

3. A packet of personal photos. Seeing photos on the phone or computer is nice, but moms still like to see photos in their hands and in old-fashioned frames. Even on Christmas eve, you can run down to the Walgreen’s with the latest memory chip from the phone and print off 20 of the best of them from your last batch of photos. This is an inexpensivelast-minute gift that is always appreciated.

4. For the romantic dad looking to stir up some romance with mommy while waiting for Santa Claus, a book of poetry is always a nice touch. I particularly like the Penguin Book of Love Poetry, a steal at $5.95 on Amazon. Find a short poem in the book that describes some of your feelings about mom and transcribe it to a simple card. You don’t even have to write poetry to bathe in it’s afterglow.

And, if all else fails, there’s always a $10 bouquet of flowers down at the Safeway.

Note: While at times, GreatDad reviews samples of products sent by manufacturers and PR agencies, in this case, none of the products discussed were provided for demonstration or sampling purposes.

This will surprise you, but Citiblocs are just a bunch of pine blocks, all cut in 1 X 4.5 X 1/4 inch rectangles. But they are perfect for creative play for little hands, and dads. When I opened the box, I was surprised not to find extra pieces like triangles and rounded edges.
Citiblocs has none of that. They are just simple blocks.

But my son (5) loved them. He built a house right away and explained all the crazy features it had. Unlike Legos, he wasn’t locked into a rectangular or almost literal representation of something, so he felt more free to let things hang out and let his imagination take over. While my classic design at steps that lined up perfectly and involved some fine engineering to support an overhanging porch, his was more figurative.

I was a bit dismayed when he dissembled my colonnaded entryway to our house, but I overcame my frustration to let him just play the way he wants to play. The only solution though for next time is to buy another set so he can build his dream house and I can build mine.

Set of 100 for 27.50 at Amazon. Larger and smaller kits available as well.

Here are some funny dad rules for surviving Christmas, especially the one about doing something really nice to kick things off, listen to people say “you shouldn’t have,” and then “don’t” for the rest of the holiday. I do wish I understood what a “lilo” (#6) is however.

Dad rules: surviving Christmas
Andrew Clover
Listen up. You’ve only a few days to prepare before you travel to enemy territory for Christmas. Here’s a checklist for survival:

1 The curse of Christmas is that there are always people more generous than you. And there’s always one random — eg neighbour, friend of Mum’s — who’ll shame you with chocolates. Be prepared: hoard bottles of something you can claim to be your favourite wine. Make cards with your children. My daughter Cassady, 5, did one that depicted the Christmas fairy. (“She does not like sitting on Christmas trees because she gets needles in her pants.”) I’ll be giving those to everyone.

2 Obviously, you want to arrive early so as to bag rooms before your sister arrives, but don’t drive children in the daytime, or you’ll arrive stressed and covered in crumbs. Tell your sister you’re arriving on the 24th. Drive up on the night of the 23rd.

3 Bring earplugs, holly and manners. A good idea is to wash up immediately after arriving. Everyone will say: “Oh, no, you really shouldn’t.” For the rest of the visit, heed their advice. A good ruse is to be the one who befriends the aged relative. When in doubt, sit on the sofa and nod.

4 Beware — there may be enemy children about, and you must show you’re a good sport by engaging with them. The trick is to delay this as long as possible, or they will seek you out as their special friend. Wait till the last day, then make an impression by flying them round the living room. Make sure you don’t trip, though, or you’ll crash-land them onto Granny.

5 Just accept it: all mums are insane throughout Christmas. There’s little you can do. Peel potatoes. Keep smiling. Ply with drink.

6 Steel yourself for siblings. You’ve not talked in a year; suddenly, you’re sharing a lilo on the floor.

7 Keep your discipline. Last year, we visited the in-laws, who are restrained, ascetic people, who drink moderately and snack on brown organic apricots. My head felt like one of those apricots, after I’d stayed up till 3am enjoying a one-man party of booze, fags and Bourne films. I arrived in the kitchen at 8am. Sister was making a sauce. Mum was chopping leeks while listening to a report on the Indonesian economy. There was nowhere to hide.

8 Go to bed early and don’t make festive innuendos such as “I’ve got to stuff the turkey”, or “I’d better get to bed. Later, I’m coming down the chimney”.

9 You’ll be under surveillance from mums determined that everyone should have fun. At all times wear a smile, a festive hat and the ugliest and most garish present you’ve been given.

10 Remember to enjoy yourself. If you don’t, someone will attack. ’Tis the season to be jolly. And if you can’t be jolly, get drunk.

[From Dad rules: surviving Christmas - Times Online ]

Just a few days left to get your shopping done. Here are some ideas if you’re short on time.

1. Go to the bookstore. Books are a great idea because you can wander the aisles and be prompted by book titles to think of the right subject for the recipient. A trip to a bookstore, even after work, or on a Sunday afternoon, is a relatively peaceful experience and you might even consider it a break in an otherwise hectic shopping day. Books also have an important advantage: they are easy to exchange or return for full refund.

2. Concert DVDs. Here’s an idea that not everyone thinks of especially for women. If you were the one to buy the 55 inch HDTV, a concert DVD is a perfect way to showcase its features. With so many DVDs for rock, classical, jazz, and every other style imaginable, you can find something really original that will bring the music home.

3. Theater, ballet, opera, or anything else you usually don’t attend, tickets. Many women complain that man just won’t go to these types of events. If there is a type of performance that she’s dying to see, this will surely be a hit. You can even suggest you take another friend, but for even larger effect, volunteer, without complaining, to attend with her.

4. Flowers. Don’t forget this old standby, especially if on Christmas eve day there are still no flowers on your holiday table. Even though there’s not a present to unwrap, flowers are never unwelcome as a surprise gift.

5. Don’t forget that spa certificate. While the spa certificate has become a cliché gift, it’s still always a welcome one. What woman doesn’t want to be pampered for an hour or even a full day. To make this gift extra special however, take the extra step of making a tentative appointment in the near future, as well as making childcare arrangements. Then, all she has to do is show up. This is far better than putting the onus on her to find child care and the perfect moment to take a break.

Remember that online services still can ship with just two days, or even one day advance purchase. If you still have lots of shopping left to do, consider an Amazon prime membership, which provides free two day shipping on all purchases for $79 per year. It isn’t cheap, but it is a good deal if you have a lot of shopping and shipping left to do.

Have a great holiday!

What is it about the Shrek franchise that makes both kids and dads laugh out loud? All the Shreks have been good, mostly clean, family fare that work on both adult and kid levels. My kids and I watched Shrek the Halls last night and both my four-year old boy and eight year-old girl laughed through the whole thing. At one point, I even had tears in my eyes I was laughing so hard.

Clocking in at 22 minutes, this video is a a very short diversion that may even become a classic about the holiday season like “It’s a Wonderful LIfe” or The Grinch. At least you can tell yourselves that when you take a break from wrapping presents to indulge for a few minutes. The movie’s premise is simple: this is Shrek’s first Christmas and he wants to make it perfect for his new family. And when he says family, he’s not talking about Donkey, Puss ‘n Boots, and all the other fairy tale creatures (Three little pigs, Gingerbread man) who live down the lane. Shrek has to find the real way to celebrate Christmas which, as some character says, isn’t something you follow a cook book recipe to do. Shrek’s Christmas involves the whole extended swamp family and ultimately involves family fighting and bickering. As Donkey says, “My mama always said, ‘Christmas ain’t Christmas until someone cries.” Many adults will find that this is the line that resonates the most for them out of the entire 22 minutes.

At $20 for this video, you may want to buy it bundled with Shrek 3, which may end up even costing less.