1. Electric Grill Brush – $28 – Boy, do I wish I had one of these. We’d grill outside more often. Our grill is caked with who-knows-what caked over the chrome. I brush most of it away, but a lot always remains. To the hardboiled, I know that means good barbecue flavor, but I can’t get over eating burnt meat grease.

2. Laguiole 6-Piece Steak Knife set – $42 – This is a treat for steak lovers. These French knives, which look like the famous Laguiole pocket knife look great at a table set for meat.

3. Wireless talking BBQ thermometer – $49.99 We’re not saying you really need it. I mean, does anyone barbecue that much? But maybe the dad on your list does like to bbq while watching the news and needs a reminder call if you really want to consistently hit medium rare.

4. Grilling Tool Set – Even the best of tools need to be replaced. Dads will appreciate this storage case when everything is put back the way they found it ready for next time. We can’t vouch for this set, though it looks like the one we use. You don’t have to pay an arm and a leg for a good set, but make sure the tools are more than 20″ long so dad doesn’t burn the hair off his harms when cooking dinner.

5. Weber Chimney Starter – $14 – If the dad on your list is still using lighter fluid, this is a simple tool he has to have. It uses just one page out of the newspaper to get the fire started. That means less noxious fumes and less chance you’ll be eating lighter fluid in your burger.

This headline gave me shivers. Whenever I see these stories in the paper, it’s hard not to conjure up images of little babies hurt by those meant to be there to protect them. Often, they haunt me for hours or days after reading. And, if can’t handle the stories, how can a child reconcile them.

What do you tell a child who asks how a father can murder his two children and their mother? Child psychologists say the answer depends on how old the child is and how much he is capable of understanding.

“Such a situation confronts a child with a loss of innocence,” said Binyamina Shilo, a senior educational and developmental psychologist. “The older they are, the more this situation frightens them.”

[From What does a parent say when a child asks: How can a dad kill his children? - Haaretz - Israel News ]

As this article points out, kids under six are rarely phased by these stories. They are the stars in their little worlds and outside news is completely inconsequential. Older kids fear for the what the stories mean to their own framework of trust. Psychologists point out that you need to reassure them on several scores. First, that you don’t understand it either. That it is such a rare thing that the person must be completely sick in a way that almost never occurs. Second, that the news media plays these stories up, as they do with child kidnappings, not because they happen all the time, but because they are rare and sensational. Our kids need to be aware that bad things happen, but that they hopefully are very very rare in the safe environments we try to create for them.

This article is getting a lot of attention in the daddy world, and even among moms.

Sorry, no dads.
That’s the message a Clayton Hills father got when he tried to join the activities of the Cloverdale Mommy & Me Meetup group.
Rick Kaselj is a registered kinesiologist and father of Cole, his infant son. A relative newcomer to Surrey, Kaselj was looking for opportunities to meet people in his neighbourhood when he discovered the group online.

Rick Kaselj and his Cole are looking for a new place to meet other parents and children.

“My wife and I just had our first child. She works days and I work evenings, so I’m a part-time stay-at-home dad. I found this group online two or three months ago and signed up.”
Since then, Kaselj said, he’s been getting the emails sent out to group members announcing events the organizers have put together for members and their children.
Other commitments meant he didn’t have time to attend any events until recently, but when he expressed interest in joining in on the fun, the door was slammed shut.
“I received an email this morning or last night saying I’m not welcome,” Kaselj said.
“I was hoping to participate with them, but I’m not welcome because I’m a dad.”
The email, signed Cloverdale Mothers Group, apologetically informed Kaselj that more than half of the members want the group to be for mothers only.
“I hate to discriminate,” the author went on, “but hope you can understand when it comes to the security of our children and especially since you have not been able to attend a meetup.”
Kaselj wonders why something wasn’t said earlier when he first joined online and is really puzzled about the reference to the security of the other members’ children.
“I’m not sure what that means,” he said.

[From Moms club to Surrey dad: we 'hate to discriminate, but...']

The moms were clearly within their rights to say, “Who are you? You’ve missed all the meetings, but now you want to interact with our kids.” We don’t know what event he was volunteering for. However, it turns out they don’t just want to get to know him, they don’t want him at all. The explanation is that they talk about women’s issues, and they wouldn’t feel comfortable with him around. (Hmmm, where have I heard that logic before?).

There is a bigger issue going on here. It’s how we socialize men to be caregivers rather than keeping them on the outside. We don’t want men hanging around playgrounds because we don’t trust them alone with our kids. Part of that is because we don’t usually allow or promote a role of men as active parents and child care providers. In turn, men are confused about how to act around kids. Sadly, in a some rare cases, men, as well as women, are not to be trusted, but it’s not by shutting everyone out that you’ll eventually get safer.

I often say that I feel sorry for poor folks, many dads, who somehow leave a baby in the back of the car and go somewhere to do errands. “There but for the grace of God,” I think. We all live hectic lives and can be overstressed and do incredibly stupid things. I use these examples as cautionary tales about what could happen if you don’t watch the kids in the pool or let them play in the street. Life is very fragile, and everything in your life can change faster than you can say, “If only I had…”

Then there are stories like this one which just are simply shocking. Is it too patronizing to say that some people should not have children?

MYRTLE BEACH, SC (WMBF) – A Myrtle Beach man is out of jail Friday on child endangerment charges after police say he left his baby girl sitting in a parked car while he got a lap dance.

[From WIS News 10 - Columbia, South Carolina | Dad leaves baby in car, goes into strip club]

If you’re a suburban dad, maybe those two ideas sounds familiar. This new shows sounds like they’ve been spying on my life.
Two different minds, one body. So which one of these two personalities leads the more complicated life: the covert operative and contract killer who speaks 13 languages, runs a four-minute mile and is trained to kill with his bare hands, or the efficiency expert who lives a humdrum life in the suburbs with a devoted wife, two kids, a dog and a minivan?[From Suburban dad and spy: Christian Slater stars as both]

Whether you agree on his politics or not, Joe Biden made a statement tonight in the debate that rang true. No one any longer can insist that a mom can somehow understand what it is to be a parent. Moms and dads today find themselves in new situations, as Biden did when his wife and infant daughter were killed in a car crash in 1972. He was suddenly left with two young sons to care for by himself. Luckily, most dads don’t have to endure that kind of trouble, but more and more are staying at home full or part-time to be with their kids, and they do understand what role good mothering and fathering play to the develop of children.

Rarely do I agree with David Frum, of the National Review, but his Saturday column had me nodding in agreement.

Frum, in this column, examines what goes on in countless homes when the family, minus dad, goes on a vacation, if only for a few days. While some dads, take this opportunity to veer off into uncharted territory, the vast majority of us wallow deeper into the rut we likely already enjoy. In his case, it’s more time at the gym and night after night of rotisserie chicken. When my family goes away, it’s pizza and beer for dinner and a movie, or two, every day. The pizza is always the same, as is the popcorn, though, luckily, I do change up the movie for a little variety. As Frum notes,

You know the saying: “Moderation in all things, including moderation”? My variant: “Variety is the spice of life — and of the most flavorful of those varieties is repetition.”

Frum enjoys being able to be himself at least for a few days, which involves listening to audio books non-stop without being ridiculed by his teenage son.

It’s pointless to be ashamed of the natural man tendency toward habit and routine. We don’t need to move the couch around the living room every six months, or renovate the kitchen. Almost all things are better left alone and in their place. Consistency just gives us more time to do the things we like to do, which usually doesn’t involve long afternoons in furniture showrooms. You can’t say women are more aggressive or pushy; they just often push hard on the stuff they want, much of which might seem irrational to us.

Frum ends his observations with this gem:

A rewrite of a slogan often seen on kids’ sweatshirts aptly sums up the relationship between the male animal and his spouse: She’s not bossy. She just has better ideas.

Spiderwick Chronicles is out on DVD and a surprise hit in our household. When this movie came out last year, I thought it looked a little goofy and it seemed to be in and out of theatres in short order. Seeing it at home was the first time for us, and it was a happy surprise for both me and my eight year-old. We both enjoyed the story, the action sequences and the funny parts.

The story is an imaginative tale of a single mom and her three kids who go to live in a mansion they soon find to be under attack by goblins out to get a book that details the world of creatures ordinary people can’t see.

While the movie has scenes that make it a bit too scary for little kids (7 and under), my slightly older daughter enjoyed even the attack sequences at the end of the film without being frightened. Be aware that near the end (attention: plot spoiler), the kids’ dad arrives in what looks to be a sweet family reunion moment. However, the father is really an ogre in disguise, and the movie’s hero, Jared, stabs him in the stomach, much to the horror of the rest of the family. This might be a traumatic moment for small children (and some dads).

Here are a few of the date points my daughter (age eight) gave for the movie:

1. Movie is best for: Kids over seven and dads who are willing to enjoy some fantastical entertainment.

2. Favorite part: When the little elf is mad, if you give him honey, he gets nice again.

3. Favorite character: The little elf

4. Main character: Jared, the brother who discovers the Spiderwick Chronicles book.

4. Lesson of the film: Sometimes knowledge gets you into trouble, as Daddy says, “Curiosity killed the cat.” Knowledge can get you out of trouble as well.

Some times, rather than a present for themselves, dads just like to see the kids enjoy a new toy or book. Here is a selection of books for young kids where the dad is the star. I’m an old softie when it comes to books and images of dads spending good times with their kids. My daughter has two or three books that feature dads and daughters and it makes me feel very special that she reserves a special place on her shelf for them. While we have not read any of the titles listed in this article, I’m going to check them out before next Sunday.

Here’s an excerpt from the Seattle Times Article and the list of books.

One girl likens her dad to a dog. One dad is convinced he’s a bird. Another dad lives away and a fourth works late but has a great lullaby in a wide-ranging selection of children’s books for Father’s Day.

“My Father the Dog” by Elizabeth Bluemle and illustrated by Randy Cecil (Candlewick Press, $6.99, ages 4-7). He scratches, fetches and growls when startled out of a nap. He likes the window rolled down and the breeze on his face during a drive. He pees on a tree and toots on the couch. Yep, this clownish dad is a lot like a dog as his daughter observes, but he’s a loyal, loving one. Bluemle reassuringly promises in a postscript: “This book is not based on my own father. Honest, Dad, it’s not.”

[From Books | Father's Day books celebrate dads of all kinds | Seattle Times Newspaper]

1.

My Father the Dog

2.

Papa and Me

3.

A Day with Dad

4.

Daddy Hug

5.

My Dad’s a Birdman

With just a few days left before dads’ day, here are a few suggestions for wine books you can pick up at the local bookstore or order quickly off Amazon.

1. Hugh Johnson’s Pocket Wine Book 2008 – This is a classic little volume perfect for sneaky glances while out at a restaurant where you need a reminder on the best years for a French Burgundy. It has seviceable wine pairing suggestions and even a primer on wine glass selection. At $14.95, this is a good bet.

2. The World Atlas of Wine Hugh Johnson and Jancis Robinson – This is a good building block for a strong wine library, as are the following four books.

3. The WIne Bible – 19.95 paperback

4.
Sotheby’s Wine Encyclopedia – $50.00

5. The Oxford Companion to Wine, 3rd Edition – $65

6. Oz Clarke’s Grapes and Wines: The definitive guide to the world’s great grapes and the wines they make – $25 paperback. Also writes an annual pocket guide to wine like the Hugh Johnson book.

With more data coming out all the time on the health benefits of wine, especially red, now’s the time to pour and toast, “To your health, Dad.”