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If you’ve ever thought about getting a sex chair…
Then you’ll have to read this funny “Modern Love” column in the New York Times.
More than a few of us have seen these ads in back of Esquire, Men’s Health, or Rolling Stone for a sex chair. The ads feature romp-some couples looking lasciviously over odd-shaped furniture destined, seemingly, for only one purpose. The mind reels. One doesn’t recall the availability or promiscuity of that type of furniture before marriage and kids.
Perhaps, as Lori Jakiela writes in this “Modern Love” column, the purchase of such a chair can bring excitement into the sex life of middle-age parents. LIke many such addled schemes, the idea comes after a few cocktails:
THE night we ordered the sex chair, we’d been drinking. Not a lot, but enough to make a sex chair seem like an investment, like junk bonds or an I.R.A.
This is an astonishing, and funny read, if only for the insights into other peoples’ parental lives as they struggle to do what all of us do: shoehorn in moments of intimacy (sexual or otherwise) between bathing, feeding, and getting them to stay put in their little beds.
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Making time for sex that doesn’t turn into sleeping
Geoff Wiliams, in a recent Parents magazine spells out the problems of sex after babies:
Not that I want to air our dirty laundry…. but my wife and I have gone weeks without doing the deed. Okay, if you must know, months. Many, many…
It’s preferable to quote Geoff since no one one wants to talk about this dirty (or not-dirty) little secret of married life. Despite all that you see on TV and read in books, very few people are leading the wild lives they lived, or wished they had lived, pre-kids.
My wife used to tell me about how her friends, who were married with young children, weren’t doing it. We would laugh heartily and be glad we weren’t them. Now, we are them. And I’m sure they’re laughing at us.
It might be about fatigue from work or from cleaning, wiping, and feeding, but even sex-wild couples find themselves falling asleep in the run-up to sex after babies.
That’s why smart sex-starved dads know there is no such thing as “let me just lie down with the kids a few minutes,” or “after we watch this one show,” or “just let me finish this one chapter in my book.” The moment is now… not that there’s really anything you can do about it. We’re just saying don’t be surprised if the phenomonon happens over and over again. As Geoff says:
I used to think people who had sex in unusual locations — on dining room tables and in airplane bathrooms — were thrill-seekers. Those couples are actually desperate, sleep-deprived parents… They know that if they try to do it anywhere near the bedroom, they’ll fall asleep.
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Give it up for our friends at DadLabs.
It’s fun bein’ a dad, as Clay and Brad show in one of their latest videos on YouTube. It’s hard for dads to get a little love around the house, say nothing to getting appreciation on YouTube, so do them a favor and take a second to give DadLabs 5 stars on the YouTube site. DadLabs now has 179 videos on YouTube, during most of which they keep their clothes on.
This video is on baby sitters, from using grandma to getting permission from a new mom to actually use one and go out. They did the interviews at a bar with apparently lots of free flowing wine, beer, and viscous liquids containing limes and it shows as the interviews become increasingly “spontaneous.”
Good job DadLabs.
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Double dipping – the risk finally quantified
In case you missed it, the New York Times did a story on the phenomenon known as “double-dipping, “made famous by The Seinfeld Show This is when you dip a chip into a dip, and then dip into the dip again with the same end of the chip, thereby polluting the entire bowl of dip with your used chip. Of course, it was George who was guilty of this infraction and was set upon by another party-goer who denounced him to the crowd.
But how unhealthy is the practice? Is it just another over-reaction to the interaction with others? Not so, says Professor Paul Dawson , a microbiologist at Clemson University. In a study inspired by the Seinfeld episodes, tests showed that double-dipping did result in significant quantities of microbial activity, especially when more than one dip was done.
They found that three to six double dips transferred about 10,000 bacteria from an eater’s mouth to the remaining dip sample.
”I was very surprised by the results,” Dawson said in a telephone interview Thursday. ”I thought there would be very minimal transfer. I didn’t think we would be able to detect it.”
The professor said the students’ research didn’t get into the risk behind such a bacteria transfer, but they got the idea.
”I like to say it’s like kissing everybody at the party — if you’re double dipping, you’re putting some of your bacteria in that dip,” Dawson said.
Dawson is the scientist who last year disproved the famous “five second rule,” that says that food that drops on the floor stays clean for five seconds and can be eaten. The results here showed that quick retrieval resulted in 150-8000 bacteria. Left an entire minute, however, food collected ten times that amount. A quick pickup therefore is better than eating off the floor, but no guarantee of food safety.
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