The kids are getting older and I can start to think beyond what will keep them alive, fed and clothed day to day. So, for the first time in a several years, I actually have a few resolutions for the new year:

1. Stop yelling at the kids. I actually don’t yell at them very often at all, but my son feels that we yell at him all the time. He’s the slowpoke in the family and he needs constant prodding to stay on track and get out the door on the family timeline rather than his own. Let everyone else yell, though. I will try to contain the stress and “gently” pry the LEGOs out of this hand and point him toward putting on his shoes rather than raising my voice. There really is nothing other than danger that should make you raise your voice to the people you love. That’s of course, easier to say than to practice, but maybe if I write it on a post-it on my computer screen and say it as a mantra, I’ll be able to keep it top of mind.

2. Compliment everyone I see. I read this somewhere a day or two ago, but can’t remember when, but will steal the idea outright. The writer was suggesting that most resolutions are set up to fail since they are about giving up stuff you like (smoking, eating, drinking) or about doing something you hate (going to the gym). Saying one nice thing to everyone you meet is easy and painless and often creates immediate rewards. It’s so obviously a good resolution, I resolve to adopt it every year!

3. Get back to playing piano. I took up piano at age 48 to motivate my daughter to learn to play at the same time. Now both kids play and practice 30-60 minutes a day, while my playing has dwindled to nothing. Their persistence should and will be a motivator to me.

4. Develop a real social media plan and stick to it. Even if it’s only the “10 minutes a day” approach, GreatDad.com need more consistency in social media. GreatDad has 5600 followers and only 4400 followees. I’ll work to reduce that delta. Apologies to my Triberr buddies as well. I’ll do more retweeting in 2012.

That’s it and enough. I have a few other personal projects that are goals for 2012. It promises to be a big year, especially since we will relaunch Pregnancy Magazine as digital publication in February!

Happy New Year!

It’s December 23rd and still time to answer a Craiglist ad for a new horse, pet pig, or used rabbit cage. Here’s our advice on six pets not to get:

1. Tarantula – Sure, they are cute, furry, and cuddly when you take them home, but wait until your son lays one on your face while you’re taking a post-football Sunday nap. Your heart attack won’t be as embarrassing as what you’ll do in your pants.

2. Snake – Yes, they also look great in the pet store when you’re thinking of how your ex-wife will react. But, trust me, they are a lot less fun when the wily creatures find a way out of the snake cage, free to wander through the walls and heating ducts of your house, ready to jump out at you.

3. Baby Croc – Ever hear of the alligators in the New York sewer system, some of which managed to crawl backwards up the pipes to take bites out of the rears of people sitting on the toilet. Even if it’s the goofiest urban myth imaginable, I still don’t like the image or increasing the probability of it happening.

3. Pony – Unless you have a driver to take your child to the stable a few times a week and a trust fund to cover the stable bills, this is not a gift any sane parent should consider.

4. Cat – Cats are the devil’s embodiment on earth, here to tease us while planting deep, dark thoughts in our brains, while they aren’t plotting to suffocate us while we sleep. Invite one into your home at your own peril.

5. Eboli Virus – It’s alive, active, and hard to kill. Sounds like a perfect pet for young kids then? Think again.

6. Dog – We love dogs. They are smart, loyal, and wonderful burglar alarms. But if you ever want to take another vacation, without a dog strapped to the roof a la Mitt Romney, think again. Even if you never vacation anywhere beyond car range, spending all your free time out walking a dog with a plastic bag of warm feces in your hand is no way to spend middle age.

7. Gerbil – Mess to clean with constant odor. They enjoy drawing blood from fingers just trying to pet them. Worse: a ferret.

Two suggestions:

1. Ant Farm – Ants make no noise and just eat through the jelly included in the ant farm. When they die, no one cries.

2. Miniature frogs – These frogs, like the ones from Wild Creations,

Here are four distinctly different headphones, as opposed to ear plugs or buds, for holiday gifts. They come in a variety of price levels and serve different functions.

1. For little kids, consider the Griffin GB10027 MyPhones Headphones ($39.99 list). They are perfect for kids and unaware teens because the volume can’t exceed 85 decibels—the highest level recommended by many auditory health organizations.

2. For more fashion-conscious teens, the Wicked Reverb headphones look hot, and deliver good sound. And, at $20 (Amazon) they are imminently affordable. These headphones have enhanced bass, and include a 3.5mm and 6.5mm jack for use with iPod or phone (no mic though) and better stereo equipment.

3. When I tried the Frends Alli headphones while listening to music, I could hear a baby crying. I found this really annoying but these headphones don’t completely cover your ears. Turns out, it was a baby crying that I had never heard on a favorite piece of music. While these headphones don’t cover the ear completely and can let in outside noise, don’t be surprised if the train you hear bearing down on you is actually on the musical track rather than a neighboring train track. These headphones also have two great additional features. They have a mic so you can use them with your phone or other inputdevice. And, they have a fabric cord, which miraculously does not tangle and stick like most headphone cords. For $35, you can not go wrong with these.

4. Finally, we love our Crossfade LP headphones. They also have a fabric cord and an second cord that includes microphone/call/music button if you want to use them with your iPhone (3GS and newer) or Blackberry. As the more sophisticated phones that they are, they also have a 6.3mm and 3.5mm adapters for different size headphone jacks. These are more expensive at $199, but are high quality headphones with superior sound driven by HD drivers and gold-plated jacks. For this price too, you get a very cool, black “exoskeleton” back case with a red lining. These make a fine gift, but I’m happy to say mine are already in service and I don’t have to to wait until Christmas to disappear into their sweet sound.

It’s amazing how prices have fallen and the quality that is available even at lower spending levels for decent headphones for everyone this holiday season.

GreatDad.com Review Policy: The featured products for this review was provided to us, at no cost, by the manufacturer or representing PR agency for the sole purpose of product testing. We do not accept monetary compensation for reviewing or writing about products. We only review products that we have personally tested and used in our own homes, and all opinions expressed are our own.

My kids think I’m a bad dad in our house on at least one score. I don’t let the kids play video games during the school week, and so far, we have not let them have a DS or other personal gaming device. We do let them play on the iPad, again on weekends. However, when it comes to video games, we mostly limit use to multi-player games on the Wii, which luckily are easy to find.

Many dads forget that there are still many electronic toys that captivate kids’ imaginations but don’t have anything to do with video. Here’s a list of a few that we like in our house, and still have the flashing lights, sounds, and movement to intrigue a ten year old.

1. Pinball – yes, pinball! It’s back among a lot of people as a classic game that works well for crowds and competition. There’s now a restoration market for pinball games, that were designed only to last a few years in a smoky barroom, but which can last a lifetime in a rec room. Maintenance is relatively cheap since the devices themselves are simple collections of wires, switches and cheap bulbs. For $500 you can pick up an old game that is fun to play and makes a great piece of modern art. We bought an completely refurbished game of High Hand and the kids, and their friends, love it! They are not maintenance free, but if you’re so inclined, can provide a decade of lessons in basic circuitry and a project for kids and dads to work on together. Most large cities have expert repairpeople if you need them.

2. Slot car sets – If you haven’t taken a look at these since you were 12, it’s time to take a look again. Now they are made with digital switches. That means you can have many cars on a 2-lane track. On our set from Carrera, you can have up to six cars, each with its own controller. With digital, the cars move from lane to lane at different switching points allowing for passing and intense action between cars speeding along limited real estate. The sets aren’t cheap, but about the same in 1980 dollars. Expect to pay around $300 for a good set that includes 2 cars.

You and your kids will be amazed how fun it is to watch the cars go around and around the track. Be prepared to squabble over who gets the “best” car, however, as well as a lot of jumping up and down as you chase cars that hit the turns a tad too fast. More cars and more controllers are on my own gift list for Christmas this year so I can finally compete with my 7 year old. He got permanent dibs on the Dodge Charger police car in our set while I have the surprisingly doggy Ford Mustang.

3. Remote control helicopters – These have been on the scene for about five years now, with the first ones completely unflyable. The early ones also had rotors that broke off during the first flight, ruining any father/child flying interlude and then costing at least a ten spot to repair. New helicopters, though, like the Military Thunder by Swann, use multiple flexible rotors that make flying a lot easier out of the box. With the older helicopters, I would wince every time my son took the controls, silently thinking, “well, there goes $30.” But this helicopter is really so easy a 7 year old can fly it (recommended age on box: 8 years). The secret is in the “twin counter-rotating coaxial rotors.” The instructions point out that you’d never build a real helicopter this way, but it does make a scale model that much more stable with less adjustments to “trim,” all while increasing lift. Kids love these helicopters! Good news, bad news is that you only get 5-10 minutes flight time with each 25 minute charge. Sometimes, though, dads like to limit break time from work or chores and this is a natural way to do it.

GreatDad Review Policy: The featured product for this review was provided to us, at no cost, by the manufacturer or representing PR agency for the sole purpose of product testing. We do not accept monetary compensation for reviewing or writing about products. We only review products that we have personally tested and used in our own homes, and all opinions expressed are our own.

You don’t have to ride a bike to ride. And you don’t have to settle for the same old Razor Scooter. There are more options for kids that add new dimensions to the ride. Here are three of our favorites.

If you have big halls and flat surfaces, you have to try the Plasmart PlasmaCar. This little guy is just too fun. It’s powered on a flat surface by moving the the steering mechanism back and forth. While not explicitly made for adults, the car holds up to 220 lbs and I love riding it as much as my kids do. If you look at the Amazon link, you’ll find over 500 reviews for this car, and most of them 5 stars. It’s well made with fun styling and colors, and recent price decreases have made it really affordable at under $45. If you have the space, get 2!

We love our Jogo self-propelled Carving Scooter (from Trikke.com) as well.

It uses the same principle as the Plasmacar but in a scooter. It’s about twice the price at about $100, but while this one is made for ages 4-8, it’s a faster ride. And since it’s a scooter, the child is upright working out more muscles to make it go. To get an idea, see this video from a video contest run by Trikke. This film is of a 70 year old guy with diabetes and heart disease who swears by the Trikke adult scooter. When you see this, you might also have to get one for yourself.

You can see more videos on the kids’ version at Trikke.com. Trike makes all kinds of cool

Finally, with a slightly different mechanism, is the Rockerboard. This scooter is again twice the price of the Trikke (about $200), but the mechanism is clearly a lot more sophisticated and it works on a different principle. Here you are shifting your weight backwards and forwards to power a motor that uses a set of small pulleys and gears to turn a rocking motion into fast speed. The Rockerboard can be used as a regular scooter, but the real fun is riding it using the rocker board and getting some speed. The Rockerboard handles really well and I guarantee you’ll be the talk of the farmers market (as I was) if you cruise into the crowd on your scooter. This is also a “toy” you’re going to have to fight to share with your kids.

Have you tried other alternative vehicles? Motorized bikes and trikes? Let us know in comments!

GreatDad.com Review Policy: The featured product for this review was provided to us, at no cost, by the manufacturer or representing PR agency for the sole purpose of product testing. We do not accept monetary compensation for reviewing or writing about products. We only review products that we have personally tested and used in our own homes, and all opinions expressed are our own.

The good people at Sweet Sally’s send us cookies from time to time. This is just a big “thanks” to them for keeping us fat and happy while we sit at the computer all day. We listed them in top food gifts to send for father’s day, and that could go for the holidays for anyone a long way from home cooking.

For Thanksgiving and beyond, they just sent us their Pumpkin Scones and a Pumpkin-cranberry strudel, both of which are very tasty and perfect to send to someone who lives far away, but are thinking about during the holidays. The scones are very good, and what you’d expect out of a scone. The strudel is also very tasty, but is a heavier dessert that’s better complemented with a nice scoop of vanilla ice cream.

GreatDad.com Review Policy: The featured product for this review was provided to us, at no cost, by the manufacturer or representing PR agency for the sole purpose of product testing. We do not accept monetary compensation for reviewing or writing about products. We only review products that we have personally tested and used in our own homes, and all opinions expressed are our own.

It’s not easy, but thousands of dads do it every year. Here are five ways to make this Halloween the most memorable ever, in the worst way:

1. Force your child into the arms of random hobgoblins and people dressed as monsters. It will definitely toughen them up for all the crazies that exist in the real world, while providing many laughs for the evening.

2. Dress your child completely in black. This is sure to scare motorists even more than you. Just stay away from trucks and buses.

3. Find costumes that are way too skimpy for late Fall weather. Tarzan or Miss America costumes are perfect for bringing on a chest cold that will remind you of the Halloween magic for a few weeks after all the decorations have come down.

4. Let the kids eat as much candy as they can as soon as they come home. In fact, make it a candy-eating contest. Whoever eats the most, gets to keep whatever is left over and the others have to throw theirs away. This way, you kill two birds with one stone. Everyone has a memorable evening in the bathroom, and most of the candy is gone the next day.

5. Send your kids out alone. By 8, they probably know how to get around the block without supervision. Or not. It’s a good test anyway.

Or you can pass on these suggestions, and muddle through on your own.

PS: Every time I write something like this, I get hate mail suggesting I’m the worst dad ever, so I want to make sure it’s clear to everyone that this is sarcasm and just an attempt at humor.

So reports TLC who is naturally recording parties like this for a reality series. How much is your budget? Our limit is $150, which I’m sure is still outrageous to many during this recession since it’s already more than some people make in a year in the developing world. But will you forego a pony for your “only 4 once” daughter out of guilt or penuriousness?

It’s not guilt that prevents us from having a big ass birthday party with three clowns, an elephant and fountain pouring all the apple juice you can drink. I don’t think we have everything in proportion or hold any corner on the “right way” to parent, but when it comes to birthdays, we try to set some limits. Our budget is not enough to go really wild, and the kids know that if they exceed it because they want to invite more kids (or clowns), it comes out of their bank accounts. Is that harsh? Perhaps. But it does end the discussions very quickly, with a, “If you really want a sword swallower at the party, you can have one, but the cost of the swords will be taken out of Mr. Piggy.”

We also don’t do goodie bags. Who invented those th ings anyway? I think it came out of a celebrity LA practice where goodie bags were created to promote stuff that only gains value when seen carried by a starlet. We had a Christmas party once where a little girl actually asked us on her way out, “Could I have my goodie bag now?” Ah, if all of life’s experiences came with a goodie bag. I’m sorry, but I just treated you to an afternoon out of the house and don’t think I owe you a candy bar, a pencil eraser, and keychain for the privilege.

We also make our own cupcakes. That’s less out of penury, since it costs more to make from scratch than to buy in a box or pre-made, but because my daughter likes to bake, and LOVES to decorate. So, why not? It’s become part of the birthday-ing process.

Saturday is my son’s birthday party. He actually chose to invite his best pals to meet in an open field and run around. At 7, “running around” is what he does. He just wants a two-hour recess, and who wouldn’t at that age. I gotta love him for it, and I’m so glad we didn’t force on him a more expensive option which would have impressed his friends’ parents more than his friends. I suppose every parent would like to imagine that they always created supremely memorable events throughout their kids’ lives, somehow making up for how their own was (hopefully) lacking very much drama. Kids are simpler than that though. They really just need a sunny day, a wide open space and parents who will patiently supervise and smile at them periodically, of course followed by a lot of really good cake.

This list was sent to me by the makers of
FakeTV, which is a cool gadget we actually own. FakeTV shines random color patterns on your wall to emulate the changing blue glow of a TV so that potential burglars think you are at home. It self-activates when the sun goes down and uses less electricity than a regular lightbulb. I know it works because our neighbors called us while we were on vacation to tell us, “Someone’s in your house watching TV!” Best home security tip under $40.

To get some PR, they sent me these “worst gifts.

10. Coupon Books for back-rubs or “whatever.” He says
    this is selfless service, she says “so, you could not
    think of anything to get me.” (For him, the right
    ”whatever” might bump this off the list.)

9. Fake engagement ring. Cubic Zirconium might be a
    good way to hedge your bets, but gives her reason to
    doubt your love would really cut glass.

8. Vacuum Cleaner — that perennial favorite of
    non-romantic husbands.

7. Panini Maker — from the guy that loves paninis.

6. From Her: A pair of tickets to the Bridal Show.

5. From him: A pair of tickets to the Monster Truck
    Fest.

4. Abdomen Exerciser — sort of the opposite of
    chocolates, and telegraphs a message. Reduces the
    possibility of “whatever” happening on Valentine’s Day
    (see number 10).

3. Roses — with a card made out to a different woman.
    It turns out the other gal also got the wrong card as
    well.

2. Nothing. (Even the roses to the wrong woman was
    better.)

1. The top worst Fake Valentine’s Day gift was a
    heart-shaped box filled with dog biscuits. The lovely
    and attractive woman that submitted this story won the
    free FakeTV that was the contest prize. She has long
    since gotten over the rapscallion that perpetrated this
    travesty — good riddance! That jerk has since become
    as friendless as you would expect him to be.

Maybe you think you have it all figured out, but any of the following items are on your list, you’re probably only going to get a fake smile from your dad when he opens it. Unless, of course, you’re the favorite daughter, in which case you’ll get a nice pat on the head, even if you’re 40 years old.

1. Stuff you want. Nothing shows how little you care like buying a gift for yourself and wrapping it up for someone else to open and then share with you. This includes chocolate or wine that you expect will get opened and passed after all the gifts are opened. It also includes CDs or DVDs that you want to “introduce” your spouse or dad to, but which you secretly want to rip to your own machine.

2. Exercise class. Giving a gift certificate to the gym is just a more complicated way to say “fatty.” Of course, you want it to say that you care, but maybe it’s something you should agree to do together after the holiday.

3. Anything from header displays near the cash register at the drug store. This includes singing fish, and items that say they are for the “hard to buy for.”

4. Anything that reminds the big guy of household chores to do. New garbage cans would fit into this category. A delivery of a palette of roof shingles to finally redo the garage would be another.

5. More items for his “collection.” My grandmother once bought three little ceramic bunnies. After that, when anyone didn’t know what to buy, they’d get her a bunny. Her friends and family brought her bunnies from their travels all over the world. She had bunnies made out of wood, plastic, silver, in every shade of the rainbow, ranging from super-realistic to completely figurative. She hated those bunnies, her collection expanded like, well, bunnies. Unless your dad has a specific missing coin or baseball or memento, look elsewhere for the perfect gift.

So, there you have it. It’s not a list to save you any time this time around, but it will save you from giving dad something no one wants: a forced smile.