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Preoccupations – Male Bonding (Or How Dad Lost 30 Pounds) – NYTimes.com
This piece by New York Times contributor Aron Ward was interesting for several reasons. First, I was amazed that he was very frank about his feelings about childcare and the stay-at-home role. It’s neither the hardest thing in the world, nor the most surprisingly pleasurable:
To tell the truth, my favorite part of the day was when she came home and I could get a break, but I also liked the mornings. Jackson was happiest during those hours. We would play and then maybe look at a book about colors together.
[From Preoccupations - Male Bonding (Or How Dad Lost 30 Pounds) - NYTimes.com]
Rather, it’s a mixture of the tedious and boring, along with the magical moments of establishing a real relationship with your child. Once Mr. Ward goes back to work, he’s more aware of what he’s mssing
Still, it was hard leaving Jackson with someone else that first day. I can relate to how mothers who return to work must feel. He and I bonded that year. But by the end of his first week in day care, Jackson didn’t want to leave when I went to pick him up.
I’m glad to be back at work, but I miss the baby. It’s hard not knowing his routine, but I know he’s being well taken care of. I also miss walking the mall with him. I’ve put on a few pounds since I’ve returned to work. I’ve also stayed friends with a couple of the guys in the stay-at-home dads group, and our families get together occasionally. I don’t know one of them who would trade for the world the experience of being at home with their kids.
I love my kids to death, but there are days when the thought of packing one more lunch or sitting by the piano during practice for one more half hour sends me right to the edge. And then I’m back again, ready for one more day of living my life right next to them.
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Lisa Belkin calls it quits
Lisa Belkin, often a lightning rod in the “mommy wars,” is moving on after nine years writing the Life’s Work column in the New York Times. She is considered the inventor of the phrase “opting out” for women who decide to quit their careers to stay at home with a new baby. When she first wrote about this phenomenon in 2003, it incited a lot of anger by career women who felt demeaned for their own life decisions.
Belkin will continue writing a daily blog called Motherlode at nytimes.com/parenting.
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