This article is getting a lot of attention in the daddy world, and even among moms.
Sorry, no dads.
That’s the message a Clayton Hills father got when he tried to join the activities of the Cloverdale Mommy & Me Meetup group.
Rick Kaselj is a registered kinesiologist and father of Cole, his infant son. A relative newcomer to Surrey, Kaselj was looking for opportunities to meet people in his neighbourhood when he discovered the group online.
Rick Kaselj and his Cole are looking for a new place to meet other parents and children.
“My wife and I just had our first child. She works days and I work evenings, so I’m a part-time stay-at-home dad. I found this group online two or three months ago and signed up.”
Since then, Kaselj said, he’s been getting the emails sent out to group members announcing events the organizers have put together for members and their children.
Other commitments meant he didn’t have time to attend any events until recently, but when he expressed interest in joining in on the fun, the door was slammed shut.
“I received an email this morning or last night saying I’m not welcome,” Kaselj said.
“I was hoping to participate with them, but I’m not welcome because I’m a dad.”
The email, signed Cloverdale Mothers Group, apologetically informed Kaselj that more than half of the members want the group to be for mothers only.
“I hate to discriminate,” the author went on, “but hope you can understand when it comes to the security of our children and especially since you have not been able to attend a meetup.”
Kaselj wonders why something wasn’t said earlier when he first joined online and is really puzzled about the reference to the security of the other members’ children.
“I’m not sure what that means,” he said.
[From Moms club to Surrey dad: we 'hate to discriminate, but...']
The moms were clearly within their rights to say, “Who are you? You’ve missed all the meetings, but now you want to interact with our kids.” We don’t know what event he was volunteering for. However, it turns out they don’t just want to get to know him, they don’t want him at all. The explanation is that they talk about women’s issues, and they wouldn’t feel comfortable with him around. (Hmmm, where have I heard that logic before?).
There is a bigger issue going on here. It’s how we socialize men to be caregivers rather than keeping them on the outside. We don’t want men hanging around playgrounds because we don’t trust them alone with our kids. Part of that is because we don’t usually allow or promote a role of men as active parents and child care providers. In turn, men are confused about how to act around kids. Sadly, in a some rare cases, men, as well as women, are not to be trusted, but it’s not by shutting everyone out that you’ll eventually get safer.
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