After kids, everything changes. We’re having sex about every
three months. If I have sex, I know my quarterly estimated taxes are due. And if it’s oral sex, I
know it’s time to renew my driver’s license.
Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
There’s a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many
men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what’s
Sex: the pleasure is
momentary, the position ridiculous, and the expense damnable.
Each Valentine’s Day, I am reminded of jellybeans in a
jar: “Before you get married, put a jellybean in a jar each time you do it. After you’re married,
take one out each time. You’ll never empty that jar.”
Life after death is as improbable as sex after marriage.
The movie CLUE
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