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Your changing sex life – Getting your pregnant wife into the mood for love

Author GreatDad Writers
Submitted 08-05-2007

Note: Subscribe now to our newsletter to receive great info for expectant dads. Also visit GreatDad’s Sex center.

It’s never easy to understand women when it comes to sex and they often experience changes in their sexual drives when they’re pregnant: some pregnant wives claim to feel sexier than ever while others feel nauseated just thinking about the act. That said, you should know what to do with the desire when it arrives.

Sex opens up many pathways of communication between couples. And don’t forget: women love to be reassured and seduced, especially when they are feeling bloated and uneasy about their bodies. It’s the fact that you love her in spite of the facts of her appearance which is truly touching for a woman.

Here are a few strategies to make your pregnant wife fall in love with you again:

  • Dinner with flowers: Nothing says you love your woman more than an average pizza and apple pie served by a waiter. If you can order out from your pregnant wife’s favorite restaurant, that will be bliss itself. Consider this a major part of the foreplay. On the other hand, if eating out is a constant thing for you, actually making her dinner yourself may be the required angle here. Romance is done around the dinner table, so figure out what will be the big mood changer for your pregnant wife.

  • Spice it up: In case you’re wondering, here’s what you do with the flowers. The idea is to lay out your bedroom with petals and flowers, put on some Marvin Gaye, and do a little dance—who knows? Your pregnant wife might appreciate the comical element.

  • The main course: Presuming that you have already allayed her fears about sex, you may now proceed with the main course. Lay your pregnant wife on her back gently and caress her with the tip of your fingers. A massage is not a bad idea provided it doesn’t put her to sleep.

  • The right stuff: Use a love-making position that is comfortable, one that doesn’t put pressure on her abdomen. Be gentle and loving.

  • Plan B: If your pregnant wife is uncomfortable with regular intercourse (because of fears for the baby or other discomfort), you might hint at oral sex (for her, not you, dummy. You just have to hope an even trade might be part of the bargain.)

Things to avoid

  • Don’t get hasty. Work up to things slowly. Don’t be inconsistent with your responses to her body. This will be a sure turn off for your wife, pregnant or not.

  • Don’t try too hard. If she’s been suffering from cramps and aches, it’s best to just give her a massage and tuck her into bed. Believe us when we say you will get no points for being whiny with a pregnant wife about your rotten sex life.

  • Don’t force her to do anything she doesn’t want to do. It’s always your pregnant wife’s prerogative to say “no.”

  • Avoid the missionary position when you make love since this can put too much pressure on your pregnant wife’s stomach.

41 comments
Cody
Cody

My wife is 37 weeks Saturday and we regularly have sex, most people say your sex life disappears. It all depends on your relationship, think with the head on your shoulders and not in your pants

kyle
kyle

My fiancée is 9 1/ 2 weeks pregnant she is such a kind loving woman she was still having sex with me up until this last week even though she didn't rly want to, so I told her let me know when your sex drive returns I can soldier on until it does because I don't want her to be uncomfortable because I do love her with all my heart and I want her to be as happy as I am.

UnComeMierda
UnComeMierda

Sex is for making babies. If she is already pregnant... What is the point? Wait until the baby is out and she recovers. Maybe you can hope to have your sexy time once a year like most married couples. Wait what?...

Lisa
Lisa

I'm 12 weeks and none of that will work because I feel like puking 24-7 My boyfriend gets upset with me and makes things alot worse! He makes me feel like crap! He don't get it and he never will.

Rob
Rob

Guys it does not matter what you do. None of these things work. I rub my wife's back every night to help her fall asleep and rub her feet every other day. This week on my week of vacation painted the kitchen, living room, and baby's room (full mural on one wall) and cleaned out the basement. Not to mention taking the dog to appointments, laundry, cleaning around the house and anything else on my list. Still nothing. Get used to it. I finally told her I wasn't going to try anymore because I was tired of getting denied so many times. When she says it will come back like we used to I thought to myself yeah right...screaming baby and no sleep? Sounds like no sex in the near future. Good luck guys. 2nd trimester sex machine...yeah right. Not buying it.

Justin
Justin

Collectively the number of times we've had sex since finding out about the little CB'er (cock blocker) growing inside of her, has been a handfull of times. The current sex drought has lasted for over a month now, very very annoying! She is 18 weeks, note the second trimester flood of goods times is a hoax and none of that crap discussed prior to get her in the mood works! Been there done it I've been patcient, understanding, kind, you name it I've done it and still no give. I wasnt even interested in other woman before, but now with the lack of sex other woman are starting look better and better.

Lillie
Lillie

Quite honestly i think most of you need to remember what all is going on here. Just because I am pregnant does not mean i love my husband any less than before. Love can be shown in many ways and if the only way is to have sex...sorry to break it you, its not love in the first place. Be patient and understanding. More often than not, she will be as well and even if she doesnt feel like it, she may make the sacrifice. Be nice to her because you love her and she is carrying your child. Not because you want some. and those of you who are considering cheating on your wife because she is sick and isnt giving you any...you deserve exactly what you get. That is the most selfish thing i have ever heard of. Ever since I found out I was pregnant, my husband and i have had amazing sex, and it has meant more to me. Grow a pair of balls, suck it up and realize you are not the only one suffering at this damn time and become a REAL man who puts his wife and child first instead of his penis

Ray
Ray

I agree with josh's comment let your woman get it when she wants it. I done all the good things massaging,foot rubbing, practically spoil her and I did it simply cause I wanted too,not cause I read these comments to get lucky! That's cause I don't get a kiss or hug when I want it! It's only given when she desires it! Be patient play your cards right Dnt mention sex give it some time.. and to be real honest chances of having sex while your significant other is prego, is like playing the lottery. I've only had sex once since she's been pregnant and it really doesn't open the widow to more so good luck to u guys that can't wait. Consider masturbation...?? Sry

oseto
oseto

doin all of this gives u nothing all u need is patience or else u will be cursing more problem.

Alex
Alex

Wow, I really do need to be a more supporting Husband. Not following that shit above but just trying to forget about sex and just let her ask and initiate it. I mean, I'll just wait patiently - cause if I even sound as bad as half the looser husbands, partners and boyfriends here I deserve to run into a wall with an erect penis instead of use it with her. When we have sex hopefully when she is ready it will be beautiful, because good things come to those who wait.

viper
viper

wow i do everything i can just to try to get any time with my wife.im lucky to get a kiss much less i love you.ive tried everything to just get her to even watch a movie with me.i have sent flowers to her at work with a card you name it.she is fine with her kids and mom but i have got the leave me alone to the point of i dont know what to do.i offer to rub her feet back wash her hair and its always i dont want to be touched.i tell her how i feel and i get shut up i dont want any drama.yet she will sit for hours and watch something by herself.i really feel she doesnt love me and would rather me be gone.she wont tell me whats wrong other than im always tired and want to be keft alone um the only person that gets it.i leave her a nite everday and a text telking her how much i love her an so on.not ever do i get a text back nor a thank you or i love you.i am so torn i really think she wants our marriage over and is affraid to tell me just curious to see if this is commonwith pregnancy

Monte
Monte

My wife doesn't feel very sexy because of the discomfort so it makes the idea of sex an uncomfortable idea but she wants to please me. She will perform oral on me as often as i want.(regardless of her mood this often gets her turned on and she knows it so she forces herself to do it in hopes she'll get in the mood, get an orgasm, which ultimately makes her feel better both physically and because she knows our sex life is good)..she generally swallows because she said it actually alleviates the nausea and says the taste helps get her in the mood for me to give oral. When she wants more than oral she generally wants anal because she gets better orgasms because she doesn't have to feel the discomfort of my penis hitting her cervix over and over. Piece of advice, telling your wife things that make her feel bad for lack sex doesn't help the relationship...just explain how much you love her and what it means sharing orgasms with her works. Tell her how attractive her pregnant body is and offer oral without any return simple because doing it is enough to satisfy you. That's how i started...then masturbated while i did it which turned her on...eventually she started giving me oral almost ever night while asking for me to give HER oral maybe once a week and she loves anal so much now she asks for that as much as vaginal sex which is sometimes 3 times a week and sometimes nothing for 10 days. At the end of every orgasm i have she gets a shoulder, foot and back massage...positive reinforcement...so she gets something even when she's still not in the mood after she takes care of me. This is great because we are able to continually connect every day and end up appreciating each other even more.

Simonae
Simonae

Gentlemen...sometimes women just don't want to have sex while pregnant. At 24 weeks, I don't. Granted, I still do out of respect and love for my husband. I also give him a minimum of 2 BJs a day to keep him happy. Sometimes the best thing you can do is talk sincerely about it. Honestly, if my husband did any of these tips; I would look at him like he'd grown three extra heads then be afraid to have sex even more because he was trying too hard and that MUST mean there's something wrong with me lol. Whatever makes you comfortable...do it. And if she doesn't want to, respect it. It's probably not because she isn't attracted to you anymore; it's because she sees herself as disgusting and gigantic; while you're having sex she's constantly worrying about her performance or if you are thinking of her or some other girl from MAXIM magazine. Admittedly it may seem vain; but a lot of women know it's their duty and take great pride in making their husband's happy. It's hard to make your man happy when you're unhappy and self-conscious about yourself.

skilit
skilit

look vamp when a women is pregnant so far in she feels gross with her body and depressed. she wont want to be touched or anything and near the end dont expect sex or anything it wont happen suck it up and deal with it. even if it seems like everything is crap and its going to hell still show her love wait on her hand and foot ask what can i do to help and wait till after she has the baby things will get batter

justmike
justmike

I'm surprised 'we' got pregnant at all. Frigid bitch.

Monica
Monica

You aren't supposed to lie on your back after so long, its dangerous for the baby. Put her on her side or something instead.

Nicole
Nicole

I wish my husband would do any of that. All he does is whine about how we don't have sex anymore. It's so annoying.

Jack
Jack

I would better masturbate instead of doing all of that!

Jesse
Jesse

My wife Shannon gets sexy time from me

steph
steph

Im 37 weeks pregnant and sorry but none of these things would work to get me in the "mood". Late pregnancy makes you feel rubbish, sick uncomfy etc. The only thing getting her "in the mood" is leaving it til she is ready.

StudentDoc
StudentDoc

Lying on your back when pregnant isn't dangerous for baby but for the mother. Baby can lie on large blood vessel causing problems.

Cassi
Cassi

Yeah, this is a load of crap. I guarantee you if your pregnant wife is tired, sore and worn out, nothing will work to get her into the mood. If she isn't in the mood and you keep badgering her about it, she'll either give in so you'll finally shut up, making you a terrible husband and person, or you'll get sent to the dog house. Either way, you lose. It's tough work creating another human life inside of you. Men never seem to realize that. YOU try growing a child inside of you, having it feed off of you, grow bigger, squish all of your organs to the point where you pee every 5 minutes and can't breathe because your lungs are so compressed, carry around all that extra weight and see if you don't feel shitty and your back and legs don't hurt.

Bob
Bob

Great suggestions but we've "been thre, done that". You can wine, dine and be nothing by amazingly nice but for what? It frequently does nothing for your sex life, even when you are just doing a bunch of beautiful things, and even if you are a supporting, loving partner. After many years I have given up. Easier just to have a wank, go about your life and move on.. It's her that loses out too here. Men have been cursed with needing sex to feel loved. No sex >>> man don't feel close/loved >>> distance forms >>> helplessness leads to man not caring anymore >>> can lead to snowballing of all of the forementioned and sometimes unfortunately leads to inevidable end. Everyone loses because noone wanted to "give" anymore!

Josh
Josh

tsk tsk tsk, I just tell my wife to come and get it when she wants it....Too much hassel going threw all of that mess....If it was her wanting sex, she wouldn't go through 1/2 of that trouble.....

mohd
mohd

I am in big trouble :-( my pregnant wife dislike SEX all the time :-( I got her after many many negotiations with her about the SEX. she give me sex once a week no more. I will try the above strategies may I can convince her to play sex sex sexxxxxxxxxxxxx

tt
tt

OK, when my wife got pregnant, around the 6 month mark, she went nuts, If I was not doing her, she was masturbating, everyday. She even asked for anal, yes, I almost fainted. It was a beautiful time. We had sex the day our child was born. Guess I am lucky.

jeff
jeff

I am one of those bad guys that wine, for sex. I have now realized that you are just making your self un attractive to your wife. She just wants to be held, massaged, and know that you are there for her hard times. so I am sorry for being so insensitive.

justmike
justmike

I'm surprised 'we' got pregnant at all. Frigid bitch.

Jack
Jack

I would better masturbate instead of doing all of that!

Nicole
Nicole

I wish my husband would do any of that. All he does is whine about how we don't have sex anymore. It's so annoying.

Jesse
Jesse

My wife Shannon gets sexy time from me

steph
steph

Im 37 weeks pregnant and sorry but none of these things would work to get me in the "mood". Late pregnancy makes you feel rubbish, sick uncomfy etc. The only thing getting her "in the mood" is leaving it til she is ready.

Monica
Monica

You aren't supposed to lie on your back after so long, its dangerous for the baby. Put her on her side or something instead.

Cassi
Cassi

Yeah, this is a load of crap. I guarantee you if your pregnant wife is tired, sore and worn out, nothing will work to get her into the mood. If she isn't in the mood and you keep badgering her about it, she'll either give in so you'll finally shut up, making you a terrible husband and person, or you'll get sent to the dog house. Either way, you lose. It's tough work creating another human life inside of you. Men never seem to realize that. YOU try growing a child inside of you, having it feed off of you, grow bigger, squish all of your organs to the point where you pee every 5 minutes and can't breathe because your lungs are so compressed, carry around all that extra weight and see if you don't feel shitty and your back and legs don't hurt.

Bob
Bob

Great suggestions but we've "been thre, done that". You can wine, dine and be nothing by amazingly nice but for what? It frequently does nothing for your sex life, even when you are just doing a bunch of beautiful things, and even if you are a supporting, loving partner. After many years I have given up. Easier just to have a wank, go about your life and move on.. It's her that loses out too here. Men have been cursed with needing sex to feel loved. No sex >>> man don't feel close/loved >>> distance forms >>> helplessness leads to man not caring anymore >>> can lead to snowballing of all of the forementioned and sometimes unfortunately leads to inevidable end. Everyone loses because noone wanted to "give" anymore!

Lisa
Lisa

I'm 12 weeks and none of that will work because I feel like puking 24-7 My boyfriend gets upset with me and makes things alot worse! He makes me feel like crap! He don't get it and he never will.

UnComeMierda
UnComeMierda

Sex is for making babies. If she is already pregnant... What is the point? Wait until the baby is out and she recovers. Maybe you can hope to have your sexy time once a year like most married couples. Wait what?...

jeff
jeff

I am one of those bad guys that wine, for sex. I have now realized that you are just making your self un attractive to your wife. She just wants to be held, massaged, and know that you are there for her hard times. so I am sorry for being so insensitive.

StudentDoc
StudentDoc

Lying on your back when pregnant isn't dangerous for baby but for the mother. Baby can lie on large blood vessel causing problems.

Josh
Josh

tsk tsk tsk, I just tell my wife to come and get it when she wants it....Too much hassel going threw all of that mess....If it was her wanting sex, she wouldn't go through 1/2 of that trouble.....

mohd
mohd

I am in big trouble :-( my pregnant wife dislike SEX all the time :-( I got her after many many negotiations with her about the SEX. she give me sex once a week no more. I will try the above strategies may I can convince her to play sex sex sexxxxxxxxxxxxx