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Are you secretly ashamed your child might be gay?

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By GreatDad Writers   Print
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The day that fathers realize their child might be gay can be a confusing time. Like most fathers, you probably had an idea for how you'd have liked your son or daughter to turn out. While most young people today accept homosexuality as perfectly normal, older adults who grew up in a different time period may have conflicting views on the fact that their children might be gay.

Is it natural to feel a little uneasy that your son prefers lighter shades of color or watches a few too many Disney musicals? Or that your daughter enjoys sports? Possibly, but you have to careful that what you're feeling is what fathers should feel. Even if your son or daughter isn't even aware of his or her own sexuality, as a father, you need to take a good, hard look at yourself and your opinions before the pivotal moment when your kid comes out to you.

Ask yourself why?
You might describe yourself as old-fashioned. You work hard and you expect a quiet, happy home when you return at night. The idea of a gay child may have never occurred to you, and now that it might be a reality, you owe it to yourself - and your kid - to figure out just why the idea upsets you.

Maybe it was because of the way you were raised, or maybe you trust the opinions of politicians or pundits on the news. Oftentimes, people have preconceived notions about homosexuality that just aren't true, and examining the source of these opinions can determine if they're valid or not. If you can't find a reason to be ashamed of your kid's possible homosexuality other than, "I don't like it," then maybe you need to change your views.

Are you overreacting?
In the end, your child is the only person who can say if he or she is gay. With that in mind, you should consider if you're overreacting to small events that other people would let slide.

For example, the fact that a boy who hangs out exclusively with male friends even into his teenage years doesn't automatically mean that he's sexually attracted to men. Likewise, a girl who takes another girl she's friends with to a school dance could just mean that she wasn't able or was too shy to find a boy to go with.

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