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10 Tips to help Divorcing Men be better Dads

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By GreatDad Writers   Print
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Dealing with a divorce that includes children may be the most difficult thing you ever do. Here are some general tips that might help guide you.
  1. Listen carefully. Now is the time to make an extra effort to put down the paper or turn off the TV when the kids wants to talk.
  2. Honesty counts. During the divorce, donít make up stories about why Ďdaddy is away.' Lies, even if you think they will protect the kids, are not a good foundation for the change in your family.
  3. Don'tí forget about you. If you feel better, youíll be better with your kids during this challenging period. Get lots of exercise and spend time with caring friends and family.
  4. Ask your child about friends who have divorced parents. This is a good icebreaker to get them talking and learn their fears and feelings about divorce. Then you can answer them and focus on whatís most important to them.
  5. Consider childrenís books about divorce. You might not have the vocabulary to talk about divorce or find it awkward when itís so personal. Childrenís books are a good way to open up dialogue with littler children.
  6. Donít blame your kids, or let them think in any way that they are to blame. Most kids will feel this anyway.
  7. Be sensitive to your childís vulnerability at this time. Over-sized fears of monsters or robbers are common during this time. Make sure you also reassure your kids that you will always be there to support them and that means home, food, and security. That might seem silly to you, but it is very important for a child who may obsess over things they have heard or imagine about divorce.
  8. Be aware that itís normal for kids to want their parents to get back together again. You may have to hear about this fantasy for many years. Do not indulge the fantasy, but make sure they do not feel ashamed or silly for wishing that it could be true.
  9. Allow your kids to express their feelings. They may be mad or sad. Itís important that they know this is okay.
  10. Donít put your child in the middle of anything between you and your ex-wife. Donít ask your child to spy. Don't say hateful things about your ex-wife. Don't have your child act as a messenger to your wife. Neglecting this can be very harmful for the child since they need to love both parents and should not have to choose sides.
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By Menteriors,   From Rockville
Communication is always the key to successful relationships. Check out Making your Kids Feel Comfortable in your New Home: Suggestions for Single Fathers on Menteriors(dot)com for some more tips on how to help your children transition through a divorce.

By david,   From columbus
i agree with the 10 tips for divorced dads but have a question about tip#10. what if the ex is bad mouthing me and doing things intentionally to turn our baby against me

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