Funniest Quotes from Dads and Moms to Tell Children

By GreatDad Writers

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Here's a compilation of the funniest quotes from dads and moms.

No matter how hard we try, it seems we can't avoid turning into our own moms and dads. How many of these things have you said (or at least thought) when dealing with your own kids?

"This hurts me more than it hurts you."

"Someday, when you're older, you will understand." (and by then you'll have kids, and it'll be too late)

"Son, don't get married ever in your life. And tell that to your kids."

"You're going to sit there until you eat your veggies. I don't care if you sit there all night."

"Where are your clothes?" (when daughter wears outlandish clothes)

"No, that man with the big tummy is not pregnant."

"Two wrongs don't make a right."

"When I say no, I mean no. Why? Because that's why."

"Shut your mouth and eat your food."

"Because I'm the daddy. That's why."

"We'll do it the right way. My way."

"Don't ask me, ask your mother."

"If Tommy told you to jump off the bridge, would you do it?"

"Do what I say, not what I do."

"Wipe that smile off your face, or I will."

"If you don't stop crying, I'll give you something to cry about."

"Don't get into the water until you learn to swim."

"If you break your legs, don't come running to me!"

"Yes, the mommy doggy is playing piggyback with the daddy doggy."

Do you know any funny dad quotes or jokes? Let us know.

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Funniest Things Dads Tell Their Children