One of my favorite things to do, when I had a free day all by myself, was to go to a zoo or aquarium and spend the day watching animals. I have learned and seen quite a bit about animals over the years, but every single time I visit a zoo, I always see or hear something special, something I have never experienced before, which always serves to increase my sense of awe at a world of animals we rarely get to experience firsthand.
Ironically, when my wife and I met she wasn't really that interested in animals. But when I am talking about or looking at wild animals, I have a childlike enthusiasm that my wife found incredibly infectious. Now, in almost every room of our home, you'll find figurines of animals such as birds or dolphins, and especially elephants - her favorite.
Because animals were a huge part of our lives we gave them a prominent role in the lives of our children. Their crib set was Noah's Ark (they came two by two as our babies did). Their sippy cups had ducks and lions on them. We bought them clothes that had elephants and dinosaurs on them. We decorated their room with a giraffe mask and an elephant sketching.
The books we read our children at night almost always had some animals in them. Whether it was hippos going berserk, giving a mouse a cookie, the cow jumping over the moon, a mother bunny or explaining that our love is stronger than seven mighty lions, the message was clear; animals are a part of our daily life and we love them. By the time they were ready to talk, they had already heard us mention the names of so many animals multiple times.
As their imagination began to develop, we bought them some animal figures and stuffed animals they could play with, interact with. This opened up a whole new way for them to experience animals, and for us to experience them together. This gave them control over what the animals did and how they interacted instead of just passively listening or watching. I realize now it helped both of my children develop a personal relationship with specific animals. Jordyn became fascinated with the Panda stuffed animal and figurine. She would talk to it, cuddle with it, and for a couple of months even wanted it in her crib when she went to sleep at night.
Incredibly, after everything we had learned and experienced together about animals, I failed to understand one vital element that became crystal clear to me when we went to the Bronx Zoo last summer. It had been a rainy morning, but had turned into a pretty nice afternoon, and the zoo was relatively empty. We were having such a wonderful time. They had seen so many animals up close that they had only seen in books or on videos and they were in awe.
When we got to the giraffes, Jordyn's favorite animal, we were delighted to see four of them running around, something I had never even seen before. I was holding Jordyn and pointing out the giraffes to her, commenting on how long their necks and legs were and how funny they looked while they were running. But she didn't say anything.
Normally, she is quite talkative, asking a lot of questions, but she remained still in my arms, watching. At first I thought something was wrong, that maybe she was scared of them or something. But there was an element to her expression that gave me pause. She actually looked overwhelmed, like her brain was working so hard to comprehend what she was seeing.
And then it hit me.
Every single animal she had ever seen in her life had been exactly what she thought it was, part of a book or a video or a toy. While I completely understand that those animals were representations of the real live animals, she of course never knew that. She never knew that a picture of a giraffe is not a giraffe. She thought that the picture was the giraffe. But sitting in my arms, seeing them run around in real life, her brain began the process of understanding that this was real and those pictures were not. I was watching her brain expand and process that thought and I was not only awed by the giraffes running, but by my little girl as well. I gave her a hug and when we separated she was smiling at me.
I found myself smiling, because once again while at the zoo, I got to experience something incredibly amazing.
- Jeremy G. Schneider
Jeremy G. Schneider, MFT, is a fatherhood expert, syndicated columnist and therapist specializing in parenting, relationships, and overcoming depression. Since the birth of his boy/girl twins in December 2002, Jeremy has written scores of articles on his experiences as a father - many of which have been published in parenting magazines and web sites in the U.S. and internationally.
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