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A Variation on Time-Out

Time Out is one of the most effective behavior techniques you can use with
children. Although most doctors recommend Time Out for aggressive behaviors such
as hitting or biting, parents sometimes overuse Time Out by choosing this
punishment for just about any infraction their children commit. There are a
number of behaviors that children exhibit during the day that are bothersome,
but don’t reach the level where a person could get hurt or something might be
broken. In this instance, it is helpful to use a lesser punishment, which I call
Time Off. Time Off is an action that grows out of what psychologists call “I”
messages, i.e., “I don’t like it when you…” The types of actions that Time Off
helps control include annoying behaviors such as teasing or being disrespectful.
The difference between Time Out and Time Off is the following: In Time Out, the
child has to sit in a specific location for one minute per year of age. If the
child talks or gets up, the “clock” is reset and Time Out starts over. In Time
Off the child has to go somewhere else in the house and must stop the behavior
that led to the punishment. There is no set time, but the child cannot come back
until he is ready to act normally. As a further incentive to get children to
comply with the punishment, children who do not follow the rules of Time Off
will subsequently have a full-fledged Time Out.

Howard J. Bennett, M.D.