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Fight Club

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  • #6155

    I could throw this in under the thread as to whether this is a wussy topic or not, but I was hoping a new thread would generate as less stagnant response. I am a MTV generation guy fed the sensitive 90’s diatribe by a slew of well intented but misleading women. It is my experience that women want neither a sensitive guy or an asshole, though they typically make friends with one while casually fucking the other in younger years. On the other hand I was one of the few people of my generation to live with my father. Masculinity is definitely handling a crisis that perhaps war was supposed to fix, but it both seems to be a barbaric and primitive way to go about it, as well as increasingly ineffectual and cyclic. To give ourselves a root for discussion, I would recommend the book ‘Fight Club.’ (The movie largely seemed to miss the point, but that happens when a novel is condensed to two hours.)

    Fight Club seemed to point out some of the problems that my generation faced. Many men were abandoned by their fathers. Their fathers often went on to create second families which they then focused on or more likely again abandoned. Men were made to feel powerless. The main character was too busy going to support groups to know how to approach a woman or find personal control in his life. He was too busy being a victim. It also talked about the misplaced consumer spending towards nesting instincts and the frustration of wasting money on a college education and ending up as an office rat or in food service. I see much of this in my generation. While seeming to offer up a nihilistic response, to me it was merely a reflection of the increasing nihilism my generation seemed to be coming to. However hidden wisdom of the book was in the existential meaning found after finding such meaninglessness in daily life. While think the author was amused that some took the book as a literal proposal to form fight clubs, the sense of power regained from reclaiming ones sense of masculinity was not foolishness. Feminism was definitely partially to blame, though the previous mistreatment of women drives women to emotionally castrate. This does not appear to be an new theme either. It seems to be cyclical and hinted at by Dostoevsky in Crime and Punishment in a discussion between the criminologist and the revolutionary. Eitherway it seems humanity seems to have trouble finding a balance in finding it’s sense of masculinity and not being pussies or assholes.

    As for me, I definitely feel pain. There are many ways I deal with it. Sometimes I hold my son and listen to Ben Folds. Other times I listen to heavy metal and exercise. I’ve been known to drink too much beer and to fight, though it is rare and I generally limit myself to soft hand moves as I think we should limit ourselves even in times of war. I’ll fight dirty if outmatched though, especially if my life is on the line and I think my choice to fight is just. I don’t blame the enemy for doing as such. I’ve never tortured anyone, but did have platoonmates taken POW. I deal with pain by trying to find balance to stop pain. On a very rare occasion I cry, but I usually can’t. When I do I like to be alone and a little drunk, but not wasted. I generally cry quietly. I write, listen to comedy and have just leveled up on guitar. I take some medication, but I know doctors tend to over-medicate, especially VA docs. Once a month I hook up with my old college stoner friends and participate in disk golf and other activities. I read books. Right now I am on Steppenwolf. I used to smoke and now I meditate or breath. Support groups I find dissempowering. My dad had humor, music and yelling. I try not to yell, but it took me a long time to realize holding in anger leads to anxiety and depression issues. I yell very seldom, but I do. As I act as a dad I’ve learned to forgive my parents and surpass them. I feel emotions though and will probably mess up my kid in different ways. We all do. Humans still breed and my son is currently hugging me.

    I must go.


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