Emotional Resilience with Michael Ostrolenk

Welcome to another episode of Great Dad Talks Resilience ! Join me as we dive deep into the realms of resilience, self-discipline, and emotional awareness with resilience expert and coach, Michael Ostrolenk.

In this episode, you will be able to:

1. Discover how to incorporate physical experiences into understanding and sitting with emotions for better resilience.
2. Learn practical tips to extend the time before giving in to distractions and find healthier alternatives to build resilience.
3. Understand the balance between short-term pleasures and long-term satisfaction, and how it can foster emotional and mental strength.
4. Explore positive aspects of masculinity, like protectiveness and resilience, and delve into the distinctions between fragility and vulnerability.
5. Gain insights into the multiple facets of resilience—physiological, psychological, social, and environmental—and learn the importance of establishing values and habits.

Hey dads! Paul Banas here, host of the Great Dad Talks podcast. In our latest insightful episode, I had the privilege of speaking with Michael Ostrolenk, a resilience expert and coach, whose views on emotional and physical resilience truly resonated with me. This week, Michael delved deep into the nature of resilience, sharing invaluable advice on how we can all better navigate life’s challenges. If you missed the episode or just want a refresher, keep reading!

The Power of Physicality in Therapy

One of the key points Michael emphasized was the importance of incorporating the body into therapy work. He highlighted how often people are detached from the physical experience of emotions. Michael shared, “People recognize the concept or word of the emotion but fail to connect it to their physiological experiences.” This detachment can lead to an inability to effectively manage emotions.

Building Capacity to Sit with Uncomfortable Feelings

Michael offered some practical advice on how to actually sit with those uncomfortable emotions, an essential step toward resilience. Here are some methods he suggested:

• Extend Time Before Distractions: Try to gradually increase the time you sit with uncomfortable feelings instead of immediately resorting to distractions.
• Healthier Alternative Distractions: Find distractions that are beneficial, such as exercises or engaging in a productive hobby.

Balancing Short-Term Pleasures and Long-Term Satisfaction

We also discussed the intricate balance between seeking immediate pleasures and achieving long-term satisfaction. Michael made a compelling point when he said, “Highly disciplined individuals sometimes need to incorporate more spontaneity and pleasure into their lives to avoid the trap of constant immediate gratification.”

Establishing Core Values

One of the most profound parts of our conversation was on the importance of identifying personal values. Michael believes that understanding and living by your values is crucial before engaging in any interpersonal relationships. He emphasized the significance of concrete actions that align with these values.

Resilience and Its Pillars

Michael broke down resilience into four pillars: physiological, psychological, social, and environmental. Optimizing each aspect is essential for a well-rounded approach to resilience. Here’s what that looks like:

Physiological: Focus on sleep, diet, nutrition, movement, fitness, stress management, and circadian biology.

• Psychological: Emotional resilience and the ability to stay focused.
• Social: Building supportive relationships and community ties.
• Environmental: Creating a conducive environment for well-being.

Daily Habits and Rituals

Discussing the role of habits in resilience, Michael stressed the importance of positive daily habits, especially morning and evening rituals. He even outlined a specific daily practice to help clients define and act on their values, emphasizing the need for concrete behaviors.

Spirituality in Resilience

Paul questioned the role of spirituality and organized religion in resilience, to which Michael responded, “Faith and religious practices can play a significant role in building resilience, helping individuals find deeper meaning and purpose.”

Resilience 1.0 vs. Resilience 2.0

Michael distinguished between two levels of resilience:

• Resilience 1.0: Physical toughness.
• Resilience 2.0: Emotional resilience, the ability to sit with experiences, and stepping up as a community leader.

He explained that character, courage, integrity, and the ability to complete tasks are integral to developing resilience.

Addressing Addiction and Self-Discipline

We talked about the idea of addiction to new challenges and the culture of immediate gratification. Michael introduced the concept of “negative 20x,” aimed at encouraging introspection and meditation rather than constantly seeking new challenges.

For those interested, Michael also shared information about his coaching services, specializing in resilience coaching for men, groups, and relationship to intimacy coaching. Likewise, I shared details about my own coaching services and programs, which you can learn more about on our website.

This episode was a treasure trove of insights on building resilience and living by your values. Remember, resilience is not just about bouncing back but also about gaining knowledge, maturity, and developing strong character from life’s challenges. As Michael wisely said, “Resilience is about the ability to stay focused and complete tasks while maintaining character and integrity.”