Healing Generational Trauma with Dr. Sasha Reiisi

Dr. Sasha Reiisi is a therapist with deep expertise in working with children and families. Together, we dive into the ripple effects of childhood trauma, the nuances of positive parenting, and how dads can break free from generational cycles—often without even realizing they’re repeating old patterns.

In this episode, you will be able to:

1. Recognize how unresolved childhood trauma affects your parenting style, and learn to break harmful generational cycles.
2. Understand the balance of nature vs. nurture in children’s emotional development, including new insights from neuroscience.
3. Learn practical ways to validate and support your child’s emotions for healthier, more resilient family relationships.
4. Spot common, unintentional ways parents can inflict emotional wounds—and how to repair them with compassion.
5. Discover tools to manage your own emotional triggers as a parent, improving self-awareness and the way you connect with your kids.

Hey there, Paul Banas here from Great Dad Talks and greatdad.com. In my latest podcast episode, I had the distinct pleasure of sitting down with Dr. Sasha Reiisi, a therapist with deep expertise working with children and families, to dig into the crucial topic of intergenerational trauma, emotional resilience, and what it really means to be a great dad (or caregiver) in today’s world. I’m excited to share some powerful takeaways and highlights from our conversation.

Why Positive Parenting Matters

As members of the American Society for the Positive Care of Children, both Dr. Reiisi and I are passionate about building stronger families through more peaceful, nurturing approaches. Dr. Reiisi’s professional journey began unexpectedly when he found himself working with very young children who had experienced significant trauma.

“I started to do a lot of my own trainings, doing a lot of my own work, starting to read a lot, on… more of that attachment relational world… And it opened my eyes to see what the ripple effects that kind of existed in having these ruptures that exist within our childhood, the unmet emotional needs that exist, even with all the greatest intentions that our parents have.”

Understanding Trauma: It’s Not What Happens, But How We Experience It

One of Dr. Reiisi’s biggest revelations in his work has been about how trauma manifests and perpetuates:

“Trauma is what happens inside of you… the real trauma is what happens to us inside of our body. I was getting to witness this firsthand in the dysregulation of my young kiddos and the discomfort their parents had in tending to those emotions.”

He stresses that much of the pain and maladaptive behaviors adults carry stem from “ruptures in our nervous system that never were repaired” and that these patterns often play out again in our own parenting.

Nature, Nurture, and the Emotional World

We talked a lot about what science tells us regarding inherited vs. learned behaviors. Dr. Reiisi shared:

“We are starting to see that there are these genetic traits that exist. We are finding with epigenetics that trauma does get stored in the body. It does change the DNA that gets passed down… Our parents weren’t perfect. Our fathers weren’t perfect. Our mothers weren’t perfect.”

But the environment still plays a critical role:

“There’s a lot of things that we observe from our parents, and I think we pick up on some of those things as well. But I do believe that this emotional world, we are born with it… How our parents choose to respond to us, how they respond to us in the turmoil of the world, that nurture in itself will then begin to set the foundation of things of who we are.”

How Small Moments Leave Big Impressions

One of my favorite insights Dr. Reiisi shared was how the “little things” can sometimes leave the deepest marks:

• Moments like a parent not showing up for a game, or withdrawing emotionally, can shape a child’s self-worth and emotional wiring far more than we realize.
• “My mom… you would get really upset with me and my brother or we would make a mistake, like, you wouldn’t talk to us for, like, a couple days… as a child, you have to understand, like, when I made a mistake, you took your love away from me by not talking to me. And that really solidified in my nervous system.”

What Truly Heals – Repair and Connection

Dr. Reiisi emphasized that what differentiates trauma from a challenging event is often the presence of comfort and connection afterward. If a child is comforted, reassured, and supported, their nervous system can process and integrate even scary events.

A simple, effective formula for parents:

• Acknowledge your child’s feelings: “This is really scary, isn’t it?”
• Validate those emotions: “I can understand why you’d feel this way.”
• Provide reassurance: “You’re safe. I’m here.”
• Help them regulate: “Let’s take a deep breath together.”

Dads and the Importance of Play

Dr. Reiisi called out something that I wish every dad would take to heart:

“There is this very important element of play that fathers have… Breath of that. Play where you get to grab them, hold them, cuddle with them, roll around with them… lacking that touch, lacking some of that physical world, that in itself can create so much trauma.”

He’s noticed more children struggling with sensory issues—sometimes simply because they lack physical interaction with their caregivers. So, dads, get down on the floor, wrestle, hug, and roughhouse (safely, of course!)—you’re literally wiring your child’s emotional resilience.

Practical Advice for Fathers

Here are some of Dr. Reiisi’s top tips that stood out from our conversation:

• Play physically and emotionally: Your presence and physical touch matter, even beyond toddlerhood.
• Validate feelings: Don’t rush to “fix” pain; sometimes all your child needs to hear is, “That sounds tough. I’m here.”
• Watch your own “shark music”: Be aware of the lingering emotional patterns from your own childhood that might trigger you unnecessarily with your kids. Ask yourself, “Is this really about my child, or my own past?”
• Repair ruptures: When you make a mistake (we all do!), revisit the moment with your child. Apologize and talk about it.
• Be present: Even for older kids and teenagers, being there—at games, events, daily time together—makes a huge difference and builds long-term trust.

My Reflection

Talking with Dr. Reiisi reminded me that so much of being a “great dad” is about doing the inner work—healing, reflecting, and breaking cycles of pain where we can. We may not always get it right, but our willingness to show up, play, comfort, apologize, and grow makes all the difference.

If you want to keep exploring these topics, listen to the full episode and check out Dr. Reiisi’s children’s book, The Magical Ride. You can find more of his insights and practical advice at drsashatherapy.com or on his Instagram @doctor.sashareiisi.

And as always, if you’re ready to dive deeper into building gratitude, connection, or positive parenting in your own family, check out my coaching programs at greatdad.com/go.

Stay strong, stay curious, and be the dad your kids need.