The Power of Playful Parenting with Dr. Lawrence Cohen

Dr. Lawrence Cohen shares fascinating research, personal stories, and plenty of actionable tips for making play and emotional connection central to your family’s life—even when things get stressful. Get ready to look at parenting through a lighter, more joyful lens—and discover why laughter and rough-and-tumble fun are essential tools in every dad’s toolkit.

In this episode, you will be able to:

1. Learn why connection, through play and emotion, is central to effective parenting.
2. Discover how roughhousing and humor can become your superpowers as a dad.
3. Pick up strategies for being present with your child’s feelings rather than always trying to solve them.
4. Get evidence-based tips for safe roughhousing and playful interaction that boost development.
5. Find actionable, simple ways to add play throughout your routine—even in short bursts.

Hi, Paul Banas here from the Great Dad Talks podcast and GreatDad.com. This week, I was thrilled to sit down with a long-admired guest and thought leader in positive parenting: Dr. Larry Cohen, author of Playful Parenting and a driving force behind the movement toward gentler, more connected fatherhood.

Our conversation covered a lot of ground—everything from the evolution of dads’ roles to the science behind roughhousing—and I’m excited to share some of Larry’s wisdom, humor, and practical tips for connecting with your kids through play.

Why Playful Parenting Matters

Larry and I reflected on how much parenting has changed in the last generation, especially for dads. As Larry shared, “There was an openness to this, back twenty, twenty five years ago when I started writing about this.” Today, more fathers are getting involved in the day-to-day joys and challenges of raising kids—not just being the “disciplinarian” or the “fun guy,” but true, active parents.

Larry drove home a point that resonated deeply with me: “We’re realizing that connection is the heart. And I think if people talk about gentle parenting and playful parenting and connection parenting, it’s really all about connection… The gentleness part is because harshness is so disconnecting.”

Play: The Secret Weapon for Fatherhood

Growing up, many of us didn’t see our own fathers play with us in the ways we now try to engage our own kids. Larry recalled, “My father… was very loving, caring father, but he didn’t get on the floor and play. Two times, you know, like my sisters and I can remember maybe two times that he got on the floor and played. But he did other things.”

Play and roughhousing often come more naturally to dads. As Larry observed, “We were encouraged to play. We were encouraged to roughhouse. We were encouraged to be a little bit wilder and looser in some ways, but we were stunted in our emotional development.” Now, dads have the chance not only to share laughter and joy with their kids, but also to model healthy emotional responses and connection.

The Science of Roughhousing

One of the biggest takeaways for me was the research-backed value of rough-and-tumble play. Larry co-authored “Unplug and Play” (formerly “The Art of Roughhousing”) with Anthony de Benedet, and together they combed through the studies. Here’s what we know:

• Roughhousing boosts confidence and joy in children. Letting kids “win” sometimes helps them feel capable and eager to keep playing.
• Children who roughhouse regularly tend to have better friendships and do better in school.
• Kids can distinguish play-fighting from real aggression far better than most adults realize.
• Allowing risky play (within reason) builds real-world confidence, independence, and self-awareness—much more than overprotectiveness.

Larry recalled one profound moment when a friend told him, “She’ll recover better from a broken arm or a broken leg than from being timid and fearful her whole life.”

Practical Ways to Bring Play Home

Larry offered great, actionable advice for parents who want to infuse more play into daily life, even if it doesn’t come naturally:

Follow Your Child’s Lead

“Mostly, what we can do is follow. And to create that space, most of what we have to offer is our time and attention. So, hey, I have a half an hour, whatever you want to do.”

Embrace Make-Believe

Dramatic play (especially preschool to early elementary) can transform chores or bedtime into a game. For example:

• “Pretend you’re astronauts and stand still for as long as you can”—kids will usually focus for much longer!
• “Play power reversal” games: let your child be the “parent” putting you to bed or teaching you how to put on your shoes (on your head, for laughs).

Value Free Play

“Most of what we have to offer is our time and attention… You might start with three minutes, right? That’s fine.”

Make Room for Laughter and Lightness

Not everything has to be a “serious” learning opportunity. Joyful moments build connection and emotional resilience, which in turn make everything else smoother.

Finding the Balance: Connection Over Perfection

Not every moment can be a game, and sometimes life throws real, serious challenges our way. “There are times when you just can’t play and it’s not right to play, but there’s never a time when it’s not right to connect,” Larry emphasized.

At the end of the day, what matters most is that our kids feel seen, valued, and safe to express themselves—even (or especially) when they’re upset. As Larry beautifully recounted from his niece:
“Tears are words, mama.”

Final Thoughts

I found this episode both inspiring and deeply affirming. Many of my own family’s warmest memories are from silly, spontaneous, playful moments—the kind Larry champions. If you’re looking for one “parenting hack” to unlock happiness, confidence, and cooperation in your family, it might just be letting yourself play a little more.

Key Takeaways:

• Connection matters more than perfection.
• Let your kids lead in play.
• Make space for roughhousing and risky play, within reason.
• Use humor and role-reversal to defuse power struggles.
• Remember: tears are communication, not something to “fix.”

To hear the full conversation, check out this episode of Great Dad Talks, and for more resources visit GreatDad.com.