Understanding Teen Anxiety with Dr. Jack Hinman

Welcome to another episode of Great Dad Talks! This week, Dr. Jack Hinman, a clinical psychologist with deep expertise in supporting young adults and modern fatherhood, shares his insights on the concept of “concept creep” in mental health, how social media and technology are rewiring young minds, and why both parents and kids seem more anxious than ever.

In this episode, you will be able to:

1. Learn how increased awareness and cultural shifts impact the way we label and respond to kids’ anxiety and mental health concerns.
2. Discover the importance of parental attunement—reading your child’s cues and trusting your instincts for timely support.
3. Understand key attachment styles and how your own style influences your child’s confidence, resilience, and independence.
4. Get practical tips for letting kids face challenges and build real-world skills, instead of enabling or shielding them too much.
5. Find guidance for helping your child move into adulthood and learn about resources like coaching and transition programs if extra support is needed.

As a dad—and as the host of the Great Dad Talks podcast—I’m always trying to unpack the biggest challenges modern fathers face. This week, I welcomed Dr. Jack Hinman, a clinical psychologist with decades of experience supporting young adults and their families, to talk about an issue close to every parent’s heart: the mental health struggles our kids face, especially as they transition from adolescence to adulthood.

This conversation is a must-listen for anyone feeling lost about how to support their kids with anxiety, independence, and resilience—or worried about those tricky goodbyes when your child heads off to college.

The Mental Health “Crisis”: Hype or Real?

I started by asking Dr. Hinman if the “mental health crisis” among our youth is just heightened awareness or truly worse than in past generations.

His answer? “It’s both.” Yes, we’re discussing mental health more and slapping labels on what was once swept under the rug—what Dr. Hinman calls “concept creep.” On one hand, “it’s great…that we’re talking about and labeling anxiety, depression, trauma, addiction,” he says, but warns: “On the flip side…we’re labeling everything as anxiety, everything as trauma.”

But that doesn’t mean the crisis isn’t real. Phones and social media have transformed growing up in ways that leave real marks on kids’ anxiety and development. As Dr. Hinman put it, “There’s definitely a notable increase in young people having anxiety. And it’s kind of like there’s a parallel process: parents are anxious, the kids are anxious.”

Why Anxiety Is (Sometimes) Good for Growth

This next bit blew me away as a dad who wants to protect my kids from pain. Dr. Hinman reminded me that a certain amount of anxiety is actually necessary for growth: “We cannot grow…unless you have anxiety. Like, anxiety is a normal part of the process.”

But in our efforts to shield our kids from discomfort, we parents might actually be holding them back from developing the resilience and confidence they need. “Parents are stopping short…they just want to put [the anxiety] out because the parents…have really poor regulation skills and they can’t manage their kids’ anxiety. So the kid doesn’t have the opportunity to work through that and develop some skills over time.”

Key takeaways:

• Let your kids feel uncomfortable sometimes—it’s part of them learning to cope.
• Don’t rush to “solve” every moment of distress.
• Express to your child, as Jack did: “You can be scared and jump at the same time.”

Attachment Theory: Why Your Own Relationship Patterns Matter as a Parent

We dove deep into attachment theory, which Dr. Hinman described as our “relationship operating system.” Your attachment style—shaped since childhood—influences how you handle stress, build self-esteem, and interact with partners, friends, and crucially, your kids.

He broke down the four main attachment styles:

• Secure: Comfortable with closeness and independence.
• Preoccupied/Anxious: Craves closeness, worries about separation.
• Avoidant: Pulls away when things get too close.
• Disorganized: A mix of anxious and avoidant, often turbulent.

Dr. Hinman stressed, “As a parent, it’s crucial you know your attachment style…because having that knowledge about yourself gives you a guidebook to yourself.”

If you struggle with insecurity in relationships, Dr. Hinman notes, you might overcompensate (avoid boundaries, try to be your kid’s friend, or become controlling). Understanding yourself first makes you a more attuned—and ultimately, supportive—parent.

The Paradox of Letting Go

Here’s the paradox that stuck with me: “The more secure you are, the more independent you want to be,” Jack said. Our ultimate job isn’t to cut our kids off, but to give them roots of security so they can naturally develop wings of independence.

Instead of detaching abruptly, secure attachment means “your kid has secure attachment with you, it creates normal, healthy independence. I’m not threatened by their independence.”

Helping Kids Develop Real-World Confidence

One concern we both shared is that today’s youth seem to lag in gaining real-world experiences—whether it’s riding a bike or holding a part-time job. Dr. Hinman calls it “an illusion of experience” when kids spend their time online rather than doing things in reality.

He described the consequences: “Their perception of what independence is is really skewed…their perceived capacity vs. real capacity is out of balance.”

Advice for parents:

• Gradually introduce small, real-world challenges and risks (like talking to strangers or riding a bike).
• Allow for stumbles—don’t protect them from every mishap.
• Focus on attunement: “Be aware of what’s going on and knowing how to respond,” using your “spidey senses” to pick up on changes or warning signs.

What If My Young Adult Can’t Launch?

If you find that your young adult is really stuck—living at home with no motivation to pursue school, work, or friendships—Dr. Hinman’s work is focused on helping families in this very situation.

He outlined the benefits of “young adult transition” programs, which offer community support, coaching, therapy, and practical skill-building. Unlike “short-term insurance-grab programs,” Dr. Hinman’s program is “a minimum of six months…looking for long-lasting internal change.”

Parents worried about their child’s motivation or resistance can start with parent coaching—sometimes the biggest change starts with how we respond.

Final Thoughts

It’s incredibly heartening to hear from Dr. Hinman just how much is possible for personal growth and change, both for our kids and for ourselves as parents. As Dr. Hinman aptly put it, “Acting secure when you’ve got insecure attachment…that will shift your neurology over time. And also being in healthy, secure relationships…that’s the healing process.”

To recap, here are my top takeaways:

• Let your kids face and “be” with anxiety rather than rushing to fix it.
• Know your own attachment style and how it shapes your parenting.
• Create environments that cultivate independence, not fear.
• Be attuned and responsive—not controlling—to your child’s emotional needs.
• Provide new challenges, real-life experiences, and seek supportive resources if your family gets stuck.

If you want to learn more about Dr. Jack Hinman’s programs, check out engagedlifenow.com. And for more resources and support for dads, visit greatdad.com.

Let’s keep the conversation going—and remember, a little anxiety is a part of growing up, for both parents and kids. Stay strong!