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Though anthropological studies suggest that nudity is not
inherently harmful, our society tends to make us feel ashamed of both showing our bodies and seeing
others naked. In whatever way you decide to handle this issue with your children, keep in mind that
they will have to function in a society that’s moderately prudish. Parental nudity and going naked
at home in front of other family members is acceptable in some European cultures. Semi-nude
sunbathing is completely accepted in many countries outside the United States. Nudity in
public is acceptable in some aboriginal societies and in nudist colonies. However, being naked in
front of anybody other than your spouse is not acceptable in most of the developed world.
It
is natural for parents, especially the mother, to expose body parts to children when they are
babies. Though nudity is not the same as sexuality, we are raised in a culture that does not
separate the two. Since society will eventually make kids associate nudity with sexuality, parents
need to stop being naked in front of their kids sooner or later. The question arises,
when.
There is a school of thought that says it is good for kids to be comfortable with
seeing their parents in the nude and vice versa. They believe that the more you hide the more
fascinated your kids get with nudity and sexuality. They may not endorse a father going naked in
front of his daughter or mother in front of her son once they are past the age of 2 or 3. However,
they don’t see anything wrong with kids seeing the same sex naked even at higher ages. In fact,
they think it may be healthy for pre-adolescents to learn about what will be happening to their
bodies—that this encourages a healthy attitude towards nudity and prevents children from associating
nudity with sexuality.
However, even the proponents of this idea propose the following
safeguards:
- Be genuine. Don’t force yourself
into being comfortable with parental nudity. If you are starting to feel awkward about exposure to
your nudity, it is likely time to be more discreet. - Be consistent. Don’t juggle between
being bashful about your nudity at times and unmindful at other times. - Explain the difference in attitudes. If your child brings up the
fact that his friends parents are never seen naked, be ready with a well thought out
explanation. - Be attentive to cues. There will come
a time (age 2 or even much older, like 7 or 8) when your kids will no longer feel comfortable with
your nudity or their own in front of you. (Hint: watch for giggles or silly smiles). Respond to this
and act accordingly. - Consider your own privacy. You may not wish your private parts to be part of a discussion between your son and his
peers.
Coming soon: A discussion on nudity in children. When should you start giving them complete
privacy?
I contacted this site on the inappropriate comments by the Dad from Sidney. I was contacted by Paul Banas who had the comment deleted. Great job on follow up on keeping this site professional. I am a Retired Police Lieutenant with Austin Police and was over Child Abuse and Sex Crimes at one point.. Kudos to your site.
“past the age of 2 or 3”? I agree that this whole issue is complex and that what is “right” will vary from family to family. It is however misleading to suggest that the attitude presented here applies to “most of the developed world” – to suggest that children and parents should not interact naked when the children are 3 years old is an exclusively American concept. In Scandinavia (where I’m from) the age at which these questions might be asked is 10 or so – and even then many families regard parent-child nudity as entirely normal until well into the teens or even beyond. In saunas families are routinely naked together without anyone thinking twice about it. In Germany and some other parts of Europe it’s perfectly normal for families to swim together nude in public (including quite a few public swimming pools). To suggest that family nudiy is only “acceptable in some aboriginal societies” is blinkered and frankly rather racist, The author may very well be right – that this is how things are and should be in the USA – but in this instance it is the USA that’s out of step with the rest of the world.
I suspect that the post “By dad, From sydney” is bogus, by the way, and should be removed!
It’s, men like “Dad from Sydney”, who is really a Fraud IMHO that puts all of this family nudity under a microscope. I agree delete his comments as he is a pervert. As a father I would take all three of our children up until our son was 13, girls 10, and 8 into the shower with me. This practice didn’t stop because I one day became uncomfortable being seen naked by them nor because they started to displayed signs of being ashamed or a feeling of uncomfortableness in being seen naked around me or other family members. Everyone always seemed eager and energized for their baths. As soon as bath time was announced they would rush off to their rooms and soon would join me naked in the bathroom after getting out of their clothes. They never seemed concerned about being naked as they routinely neglected putting on robes, which they all had, as they got undressed in their bedrooms. Instead optioning to join me already naked and waiting for them to join up once again in our one bathroom for our nightly showers. This routine actually halted because their mother who had stopped her participation in this routine a few years prior decided that it was time to stop. Apparently she knew when the magical age is. After that point all nudity in the home ceased.
Your answer shows real inteillgence.