Making time for sex that doesn’t turn into sleeping

Geoff Wiliams, in a recent Parents magazine spells out the problems of sex after babies:

Not that I want to air our dirty laundry…. but my wife and I have gone weeks without doing the deed. Okay, if you must know, months. Many, many…

It’s preferable to quote Geoff since no one one wants to talk about this dirty (or not-dirty) little secret of married life. Despite all that you see on TV and read in books, very few people are leading the wild lives they lived, or wished they had lived, pre-kids.

My wife used to tell me about how her friends, who were married with young children, weren’t doing it. We would laugh heartily and be glad we weren’t them. Now, we are them. And I’m sure they’re laughing at us.

It might be about fatigue from work or from cleaning, wiping, and feeding, but even sex-wild couples find themselves falling asleep in the run-up to sex after babies.

That’s why smart sex-starved dads know there is no such thing as “let me just lie down with the kids a few minutes,” or “after we watch this one show,” or “just let me finish this one chapter in my book.” The moment is now… not that there’s really anything you can do about it. We’re just saying don’t be surprised if the phenomonon happens over and over again. As Geoff says:

I used to think people who had sex in unusual locations — on dining room tables and in airplane bathrooms — were thrill-seekers. Those couples are actually desperate, sleep-deprived parents… They know that if they try to do it anywhere near the bedroom, they’ll fall asleep.