Introduction
Dads Are Important for the Integral Development of Kids
Research has revealed that interactions with a father are as important as interactions with a mother in a child’s integral development.
A father’s influence starts to be important from very early on. One study, conducted in Germany, showed that dads who interacted with their kids in sensitive, supportive, and challenging ways, starting from the age of two, continued to have a good rapport with them through their teen years.
Dad is important to a baby’s social development 5, 10, and 20 years down the line. Researchers found that kids less attached to their dads at age 5 were more anxious, withdrawn, and less self-confident at age 9. This resulted in lower acceptance by peers and made them less well adjusted at school.
Another study revealed that kids from families where dads work together with children on household chores proved to be better adjusted and more socially aware. This provides a win-win situation for dads, moms, and kids. It might interest sex-deprived dads that this same research also found that dads who did
more housework fared better in their sex lives with their wives.
How Are Dads Different from Moms?
In our culture, mom is looked upon as the expert in child rearing, because she usually is the one to stay home with the baby and takes a more natural, intense interest in the baby due to her specific personal experience. Moms and grandmothers often patronize fathers about their role (“isn’t that cute how he
tries to change the diaper”) or worse, criticize dads outright for their approach to parenting. It’s very important for couples working as a team to understand that, yet again, Mars and Venus look at their roles as parents differently. One is not better than the other. In fact, research has revealed that kids develop more completely when the parenting styles of dads and moms complement each other. It is important to understand that fathers parent differently because dads don’t always think like moms.
1. Handling Emotions
Kids imbibe different, yet complementary skills from their dads and moms. Moms are generally more emotional, and dads are more detached. Mom’s influence has more to do with self-worth and the ability to form close, one-on-one relationships. Kids need to learn both the expression of emotions as well as detachment from emotions. If a child gets hurt, he needs to express it so that the wound can receive the required attention.
In most situations, when a child is hurt, moms and dads respond differently. Moms tend to sympathize, feeling the hurt themselves. Dads tend to empathize and look for the best possible solution. Being overwhelmed by an emotion may sometimes paralyze a mom and prevent her from looking for an effective remedy. Dads’ method of handling emotions teaches kids that emotions are okay, but they need not be our masters. We can master our emotions. Life is a jungle and there are times when we will get hurt. It’s okay to be hurt. It’s okay to be emotionally affected upon being hurt. However, it’s not okay to let the emotions crush us and prevent us from taking the necessary steps to resolve the problem.
2. Inspiring Self-Confidence
Moms inspire kids to protect themselves, while dads motivate them to take risks. If kids won’t learn to take risks, they will not learn anything new. Consequently, this will stunt their growth. Challenges are very important for growth. A dad’s adventurous nature helps kids explore their potential and challenges them to grow. Dads teach their kids to face failure bravely and learn from it. This inspires them with self-confidence and independence in performing their tasks.
Moms generally sort out all their kids’ problems. Dads guide them to sort out their own problems, thus helping them prepare for the real world.
Dads symbolize strength for most kids. Therefore, having their dad around gives them a sense of security.
3. Taking Responsibility
Taking responsibility means taking on a personal commitment to perform a task and not blaming circumstances or others for one’s failures. It further means being honest, diligent, and courageous enough to stand by principles. Dads inspire and challenge kids to take on responsibilities and to take responsibility for failure, if any.
Dads also teach their kids how to handle money. While schools may teach children how to count, it is left to the dad to help their kids to take responsibility for their finances.
4. Disciplining Kids
Moms generally rely on dads to handle discipline. Dads have traditionally been associated with disciplining kids with punishments. While most modern dads may not use punishments to discipline kids, they are still responsible for teaching their kids how to be disciplined. Modern methods of discipline recognize that kids are not born with an agenda to make trouble for their parents; that they are trying their best to please their parents. However, being children, they fail. Modern-day dads recognize that it’s okay to
fail and to use failure to pave one’s way to success.
5. Having Fun
Moms teach kids to stick to a routine while dads inspire them to be more flexible. Goofing off seems to come easier to dads. Watching dad feel free enough to be wacky, without concentrating on schedules or on how long it takes food to cook, can be a valuable lesson for kids. Moms still bear most of the burden for making sure the house is clean, dinner is on the table, and the kids are on schedule. Dads teach kids to take life less seriously and have some serious fun.
Dads are different in the way they nurture and express their affection, and kids love it. For example, a dad may play in a puddle with his kids—it’s his way of telling his kids that he enjoys their kind of fun because
he loves them.
What do dads often do with kids different from mom? They go outside and play ball, build a model or some furniture, repair a car, play a computer game, wrestle around on the floor, and help kids find creative
approaches to tackle their homework. All of these activities, if done with compassion and respect, build a child’s self-confidence.
Conclusion
Children really need both parents. While moms may be able to handle almost all the tasks, dads are naturally better at handling certain tasks. Most moms are better at care taking, protection, and nurturing. Besides, they can certainly also learn how to teach self-esteem and self-value through attitude, challenge, and determination. However, dads tend to be naturally better at setting up and facing the challenges that teach confidence and courage. Like the moms, they can also learn how to nurture, protect, and care for children.
However, learning all the skills is difficult and takes a lot of hard work and determination. It is easier to recognize the gender based natural talents and complement each other in the task of raising kids with well-rounded personalities.
