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You are here: Home / Kids / Choose Your Parenting Style

Choose Your Parenting Style

June 11, 2007 by GreatDad Writers 4 Comments

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Your parenting style is likely to impact the way your child grows up. Being responsive to your children, and at the same time, setting clear rules and limits, is crucial for you as a parent. Based on this, four main styles of parenting have been identified:

  • “Just do it or else” – Some parents adopt a highly authoritarian, dictatorial style. They expect children to obey orders without questioning. Rules are well defined in such households and breaking them usually invites punishment. Such a system is typical of societies where little change is expected and deviance from normal behavior can be costly such as a rural or agrarian society.
  • “A no means a no” – Some parents are firm, assertive, and authoritative without being authoritarian. They set clear rules, and are firm about discipline without using harsh punishment. Children in such homes are expected to be socially responsible.
  • “Do anything you want” – Parents with this style believe in the permissive or indulgent approach. They do not demand responsible behavior and avoid confrontation with their children. Several parents in the 50s and 60s adopted this style.
  • “I don’t care what you do” – Few parents remain uninvolved in their children’s lives, which in few cases, borders on neglect.

Typically, most parents are variations or combinations of the above four styles.

 

There is no “right” or “wrong” parenting style though we all have prejudices on what we think works best based on our own experience and values.  Research, however, has shown the effects of various parenting styles on children:

  • Children that have grown up in authoritarian settings, tend to show average performance in school but lack spontaneity, effective social skills, and self-confidence.
  • Children who are brought up by authoritative parents, grow up to become more responsible. They easily adjust to situations that demand cooperation.
  • Children with permissive parents tend to be more creative but some research indicates they may develop behavioral problems as they grow up because they do not accept responsibility.
  • Children with uninvolved parents perform poorly at school.

Also read:


Raising Responsible Kids – Ideas from Dr. Robert Brooks

 

Raising Resilient Kids – Ideas from Dr. Robert Brooks

 

Six tips for Dads for raising resilient kids – from Dr. Robert Brooks

Filed Under: Kids

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. mbabani says

    November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    hey guys this julius from uganda. really this is the web every dad should visist before his kids wakes up ! hahaha

    Log in to Reply
  2. Jessica says

    November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    At the end of this article, the author mentions something about research that shows the effects of various parenting styles on children. I was wondering what research? I cannot find any references on this page to the research. I am curious on the research. please help.

    Log in to Reply
  3. Fesesfges says

    November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    Tony.. always glad to hear from you. Hope you enyjeod Father’s Day and all of Nathan’s adorable hand made gifts. Happy Summer to all of you .Bridget

    Log in to Reply
  4. Henrietta says

    November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    My kid is four and he a good boy. He do what i tells him to. He do it or hell, im gon have to put him back in the cellur. This aint no real website, this is a joke, damn. I got some advise to yall tell em to do what you want, they make great servents

    Log in to Reply

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Choose Your Parenting Style

November 20, 2006 by Paul Banas Leave a Comment

Your parenting style is likely to impact the way your child grows up. Being responsive to your children, and at the same time, setting clear rules and limits, is crucial for you as a parent. Based on this, four main styles of parenting have been identified:

  • “Just do it or else” – Some parents adopt a highly authoritarian, dictatorial style. They expect children to obey orders without questioning. Rules are well defined in such households and breaking them usually invites punishment. Such a system is typical of societies where little change is expected and deviance from normal behavior can be costly such as a rural or agrarian society.
  • “A no means a no” – Some parents are firm, assertive, and authoritative without being authoritarian. They set clear rules, and are firm about discipline without using harsh punishment. Children in such homes are expected to be socially responsible.
  • “Do anything you want” – Parents with this style believe in the permissive or indulgent approach. They do not demand responsible behavior and avoid confrontation with their children. Several parents in the 50s and 60s adopted this style.
  • “I don’t care what you do” – Few parents remain uninvolved in their children’s lives, which in few cases, borders on neglect.

Typically, most parents are variations or combinations of the above four styles.

There is no “right” or “wrong” parenting style though we all have prejudices on what we think works best based on our own experience and values.  Research, however, has shown the effects of various parenting styles on children:

  • Children that have grown up in authoritarian settings, tend to show average performance in school but lack spontaneity, effective social skills, and self-confidence.
  • Children who are brought up by authoritative parents, grow up to become more responsible. They easily adjust to situations that demand cooperation.
  • Children with permissive parents tend to be more creative but some research indicates they may develop behavioral problems as they grow up because they do not accept responsibility.
  • Children with uninvolved parents perform poorly at school.

Also read:

Raising Responsible Kids – Ideas from Dr. Robert Brooks

Raising Resilient Kids – Ideas from Dr. Robert Brooks

Six tips for Dads for raising resilient kids – from Dr. Robert Brooks

Filed Under: 9 Week

About Paul Banas

Paul Banas is happy married dad of two great kids living in San Francisco. He writes now about kids, new technology and how the two interact for GreatDad.com and for Pregnancy Magazine (pregnancymagazine.com) where he is also the publisher.

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Leave a Reply Cancel reply

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This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

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Great Dad Talks is a series of conversations with experts on all aspects of the family adventure. With the perspective that “dads don’t always think like moms,” our mission is to support dad voices and our slightly different approaches to parenting. We’ll try to find solutions to every day challenges like getting kids off the couch and making STEM classes available for both boys and girls. But we’ll also tackle bigger issues when they come. The one main theme will be to support dads in the most important role of their lives that of being a great dad. Connect with us at greatdad.com and watch the video version of these podcasts at YouTube.com/greatdadnews

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Welcome to another episode of Great Dad Talks! This week, I sit down with life coach and former psychologist Michael Blair to explore modern tools for family harmony, emotional healing, and child development.

Michael shares the transformative power of his unique “spin” method—a tool rooted in Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP)—that helps kids, parents, and even whole families quickly change negative emotional patterns in just minutes. Listen in as Michael walks Paul through an anxiety-busting spin live, explains why dads’ involvement is critical to healthy families, and shares actionable tips on self-forgiveness and resilience.

Check out Michael’s website at blaircounselingandcoaching.com

Visit these links and embark on the path to becoming the best parent you can be:

– GreatDad.com/coaching 

– GreatDad.com/pq 

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