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Parents worry when they read about a new generation of American kids who are over-privileged and act with a sense ofentitlement. These kids often lack the ability or skills to deal with challenges and setbacks.
Dr. Robert Brooks, co-author of Raising Resilient Children, says that this phenomenon cuts across socio-economic levels. While the affluent get the most publicity, the problem of helping children to be more hopeful and resilient applies to all children. Parents must be aware of what they can do to nurture the skills and outlook associated with what Dr. Brooks calls a “resilient mindset.”
On one hand, a basic role of parents is protecting children. They should “help kids develop greater confidence and self-esteem by helping them to cope more effectively with frustration, setbacks, and failure,” says Dr. Brooks. Even well-meaning parents sometimes rush in to praise too quickly or indiscriminately, or keep kids from making any mistakes. Worse yet, some parents prevent the child from feeling any discomfort whatsoever. When a parent protects a child too much, the implicit message to the child is ‘you can’t handle problems or failure.’ Instead of building up confidence, the child feels less confident in him or herself.
The development of self-esteem and resilience is based on realistic accomplishments. Dr. Brooks emphasizes the following guidelines for parents seeking to encourage and support their kids without over-protecting them:
The ultimate goal is to raise “resilient” kids who have the coping skills to deal with adversity when it arises.
Dr. Brooks’ new book, Raising a Self-Disciplined Child, is due out in September, 2007.
Also read
Six tips for Dads for raising resilient kids – from Dr Robert Brooks