Q: My kids are having a terrible time coping with my divorce. As their father, I am trying to be there for them as much as I can. But nothing I say or do seems to help. What should I do?
A: Sometimes, despite all your efforts, your children will need more help than you’re capable of providing. This doesn’t mean that you’re a bad parent, just that you know your limitations. Here’s what you should be looking for:
If you have sons, pay particular attention to them. By the time they’re only four or five, boys in our society know perfectly well that “big boys don’t cry.” As a result, they’re usually far more stoic than they ought to be. But stoic behavior could be a sign that your son isn’t dealing with his emotions the way he should.
When looking for a therapist for your children, talk to several candidates before making your decision. Be sure to select someone who has a lot of experience dealing with children of divorce.