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You are here: Home / GreatDad Blog / Missing the important events in your child’s life

Missing the important events in your child’s life

September 19, 2013 by Paul Banas Leave a Comment

Image 3I screwed up on Saturday. My son told me that he would be awarded his blue belt in aikido. Because he often makes declarative announcements, I checked with one of the organizers of the class who told me that the kids were not ready and that he could not imagine there would be a ceremony this week. So we did carpool as usual, picking my son up right as the class was supposed to be ending. Unfortunately, instead of finishing the class as usual, they ended with a test and the awarding of new belts.

My son was crestfallen that we weren’t there to see him reach what is actually the second the last belt he can achieve in aikido. He whimpered all the way home, with a “nobody loves me,” sadness that made us all feel very guilty. It didn’t really matter that we had been told that we didn’t need to come. All he knew is that he had told us to be there and we had failed him. All the other events we’ve attended over the years; the plays, the class performances, the soccer industrial games, none of it made a difference. He could only feel about the thing that he didn’t have. I told him I thought he was right to be mad, but that we do our best to be there for him as often as we can but that sometimes we fail.

As parents often do, I wondered what memories he will take with him into adulthood. Will he remember this all as “the good times?” Or will he remember the few times we weren’t there for him? I’m hopeful it will be the former, though I know there are events that are insignificant to us now that will imprint on his young brain and that he will take with them into the future. There’s not a lot I can do about that. But I do and agonize over how many there are and how to avoid them.

Filed Under: GreatDad Blog

About Paul Banas

Paul Banas is happy married dad of two great kids living in San Francisco. He writes now about kids, new technology and how the two interact for GreatDad.com and for Pregnancy Magazine (pregnancymagazine.com) where he is also the publisher.

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Great Dad Talks is a series of conversations with experts on all aspects of the family adventure. With the perspective that “dads don’t always think like moms,” our mission is to support dad voices and our slightly different approaches to parenting. We’ll try to find solutions to every day challenges like getting kids off the couch and making STEM classes available for both boys and girls. But we’ll also tackle bigger issues when they come. The one main theme will be to support dads in the most important role of their lives that of being a great dad. Connect with us at greatdad.com and watch the video version of these podcasts at YouTube.com/greatdadnews

Spinning Out Family Stress with Michael Blair
byPaul Banas

Welcome to another episode of Great Dad Talks! This week, I sit down with life coach and former psychologist Michael Blair to explore modern tools for family harmony, emotional healing, and child development.

Michael shares the transformative power of his unique “spin” method—a tool rooted in Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP)—that helps kids, parents, and even whole families quickly change negative emotional patterns in just minutes. Listen in as Michael walks Paul through an anxiety-busting spin live, explains why dads’ involvement is critical to healthy families, and shares actionable tips on self-forgiveness and resilience.

Check out Michael’s website at blaircounselingandcoaching.com

Visit these links and embark on the path to becoming the best parent you can be:

– GreatDad.com/coaching 

– GreatDad.com/pq 

– Gratitude course: bit.ly/3NMLDNC

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