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How fathers can handle sibling rivalry

January 18, 2007 by Paul Banas Leave a Comment


  • Encourage kids to work out conflicts on their own: When elementary-age children argue, the best approach is usually not to get involved. Instead, see if you can get them to work it out themselves.
  • Try not to foster competition: As tempting as it may be to get your C+ grade-schooler to model herself on her honor-roll sibling, don’t try. Comparisons send a competitive message and can really intensify a rivalry. Your job is to help all your children do their best, on their terms.
  • Take steps to stop the putdowns: “Mom likes me better.” “You look like a hamster.” “You smell bad.” a brother or sister’s taunts and barbs can intensify a rivalry or reinforce a negative self-image.
    So unlike your hands-off approach to bickering, it’s wise to step in and stop the putdowns. When you are alone with your child, you can tell him/her, “It’s not okay to say hurtful things to your brother.” If you correct your children in front of a sibling, they are likely to exact revenge for the humiliation caused.

Filed Under: Kids

About Paul Banas

Paul Banas is happy married dad of two great kids living in San Francisco. He writes now about kids, new technology and how the two interact for GreatDad.com and for Pregnancy Magazine (pregnancymagazine.com) where he is also the publisher.

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Great Dad Talks

Great Dad Talks
Great Dad Talks

Great Dad Talks is a series of conversations with experts on all aspects of the family adventure. With the perspective that “dads don’t always think like moms,” our mission is to support dad voices and our slightly different approaches to parenting. We’ll try to find solutions to every day challenges like getting kids off the couch and making STEM classes available for both boys and girls. But we’ll also tackle bigger issues when they come. The one main theme will be to support dads in the most important role of their lives that of being a great dad.

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Hacking Life After 50 with Mark Barnes
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Tune in to this episode with guest Mark Barnes and delve into the topics of finding purpose, setting goals, and navigating life transitions. Mark shares his insights and personal experiences on how dads can continue to thrive and find fulfillment as their children grow up and their own lives shift. From planning for the future to staying curious and staying in shape, Mark provides valuable advice and strategies for dads in different stages of life.

Navigate life’s transitions with purpose and fulfillment by visiting Mark’s website: 10publications.com

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