Five Reasons not to Leave Your Wife After Childbirth

Thinking of giving up? Here are the top five reasons not to leave your wife after she gives birth:

1. You don’t want someone else raising your child.

The most logical reason for not leaving your new family is just that, to remain a family. Regardless of the situation, leaving ensures that you will not play as large of a role in your child’s life as you would if you chose to stay. Leaving means that your child could be raised in a way you don’t approve, or worse, by someone you don’t even know.

2. Her vagina will return to normal.

Childbirth is scary. And gross. We know this, and probably think about it even more than you do. But the fact remains that the vagina is a remarkable part of the female anatomy, and will return to the same tightness it was previously. So be a little patient, maybe even a little encouraging, and sex will be on the horizon again soon!

3. The economy will get better.

Raising a child in the country’s second largest recession can be daunting, and everyone knows how expensive children are. Despite these unfortunate facts, things will likely get better instead of worse. Keep your wits about you and your financial situation will be looking up again before you know it. Have faith that if parents in the Great Depression pulled this off, you can too!

4. The diapers will end.

You won’t be delegated to pooper scooper for the rest of your life. Cleaning up after your baby can get really frustrating when it keeps coming out all different ends. Always remember that girls (on average) are toilet trained by 29 months and boys (on average) by 31 months! Just think, if you can pick up your dog’s crap for 12.8 years of its average life (89.6 in doggie years), you can probably deal with your child for just a fraction of that. So buy a super-size pack of Huggies, and hunker down for the shit-storm.

5. What if your kid turns out to be a pro athlete?

So yeah, it’s a little corny and maybe far-fetched. But what if? Maybe your child turns out to be the next Lance Armstrong, or the next Serena Williams, all because you were there to encourage them! It could be as simple as being there to give your kid his first baseball mitt. Don’t miss out on the spectacular event that is your child’s life, whether they go pro at sports or something more typical, like science (it’s okay to hope for sports).

Michelle F. is a guest blogger at Become.com. Check out their parenting blog B is for Baby for more tips from moms!