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What’s in a name?

August 18, 2006 by Paul Banas Leave a Comment

In June, I saw a former student of mine, Amy, who is pregnant with her first child. As we were discussing childbirth and the long strange trip that follows, the topic of names came up.  


 


“We have a few names picked out,” she said happily.  


 


“Don’t tell me,” I snapped. “Don’t tell anyone. Ever.”  


 


Amy was taken aback by a tone I haven’t used with her since I was ranting about The Great Gatsby in her English class. I apologized for my teacherly tourette’s but explained my theory on baby naming. Everybody, especially your family (and your friends), has an opinion on what you should name your kid. Grandma will want you to choose a family name even if it rhymes with asparagus; your mother will think her maiden name needs to be freed from the darkness of male oppression; your sister will say you stole that name from her; and your dad will hope you’ll consider his favorite blues singer’s moniker as a possible candidate. 


 


If you do make the terrible mistake of letting people know the name you’re considering, they’ll pick at it more feverishly than a starving vulture on a petrified boar carcass. They’ll say (insert your name here) is too dull or too exotic. Your kid will be forgotten or teased with a name like that. They’ll say it doesn’t sound right next to your last name (which also sucks by the way). Your name is too long or too short, too easy to forget or hard to pronounce, too girlish or boyish, or contains far too many consonants or vowels. Your choice is too Jewish-sounding for the Southwest or Arab enough to land him on a no-fly list. Your kid will positively change her name when she turns 18. And hate you for naming her that to boot.  


 


What happens is that once a name is attached to an actual kicking and screaming baby, it adheres like gum to a shoe. This comes from a man who named his daughter Poppy and son London. Although I’ve heard of a few cases where parents have changed their child’s name a few times in the hospital, once the child is named and presented to the world, it’s pretty hard to switch. So my advice to expecting parents (and veterans who’ve been burned) is to keep your baby label a secret until you stick it to the kid.


 


– Robert Wilder


Santa Fe, New Mexico


 


 


Robert Wilder has a monthly column “Daddy Needs a Drink,” in the Santa Fe Reporter. Daddy Needs a Drink is his first book.

Filed Under: -17 Week

About Paul Banas

Paul Banas is happy married dad of two great kids living in San Francisco. He writes now about kids, new technology and how the two interact for GreatDad.com and for Pregnancy Magazine (pregnancymagazine.com) where he is also the publisher.

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Great Dad Talks

Great Dad Talks is a series of conversations with experts on all aspects of the family adventure. With the perspective that “dads don’t always think like moms,” our mission is to support dad voices and our slightly different approaches to parenting. We’ll try to find solutions to every day challenges like getting kids off the couch and making STEM classes available for both boys and girls. But we’ll also tackle bigger issues when they come. The one main theme will be to support dads in the most important role of their lives that of being a great dad. Connect with us at greatdad.com and watch the video version of these podcasts at YouTube.com/greatdadnews

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146. Balancing Business and Family with Dr. Travis Parry
Great Dad Talks
146. Balancing Business and Family with Dr. Travis Parry
In this insightful episode of Great Dad Talks, expert guest Dr. Travis Parry explores the intricacies of modern[...]
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146. Balancing Business and Family with Dr. Travis Parry
byPaul Banas

In this insightful episode of Great Dad Talks, expert guest Dr. Travis Parry explores the intricacies of modern fatherhood, particularly focusing on entrepreneurial couples and achieving family balance. Dive into his personal journey as he discusses the profound influence of his father, the importance of managing stress, and the surprising role of financial stability in marital happiness. Together, we unravel the keys to balancing business growth with family priorities and how couples can align their financial values for long-term success. Whether you’re an entrepreneur or simply keen on strengthening your family dynamics, this conversation is packed with wisdom and practical advice.

Check out Dr. Parry’s website at travisparry.com

Visit these links and embark on the path to becoming the best parent you can be:

– GreatDad.com/coaching 

– GreatDad.com/pq 

– Gratitude course: bit.ly/3NMLDNC  

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