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How you can Help Your Spouse Cope with the Trauma of Childbirth

November 17, 2006 by Paul Banas Leave a Comment

The process of becoming a mother involves a certain amount of psychological strain for a pregnant woman. In fact, for some women, childbirth can be as traumatic as life-threatening events such as a natural disaster or a war. During pregnancy, it is important for the to-be mother’s family members and close ones to support her as required.



During childbirth, women are likely to experience a range of emotions, which may include:



  • Guilt

  • Anxiety and fear that can manifest as intense flashbacks and nightmares

  • Helplessness or a feeling of loss of control or feeling incomplete

  • Severe depression

  • Anger, irritability

  • Obsessive talking about their traumatic experiences

  • Ambivalent feelings toward the baby

  • Hyper-vigilance and hyper-sensitivity to any perceived injustice

  • Other symptoms such as drug and alcohol abuse, phobias, fainting spells, eating disorders, suicidal tendencies

  • It should be noted that such responses are natural reactions to a scary event, and are not signs of weakness. However, husbands can provide the necessary support to enable their spouses to cope with birth trauma.

During and before childbirth



  • Medical care – Ensure that your spouse gets all the medical care she requires. Inform her about the available choices. Involve her in the decision-making process.


  • Pain relief – Women experience intense physical and mental pain during childbirth. Use tried and tested techniques that aim to reduce this pain. For example, massages, baths, relaxation techniques may help.


  • Emotional support – Often, women complain that people around them dismiss their problems. Sometimes, simply listening to your spouse may act as a solution. Remember that your spouse requires all the emotional support you can give her.


  • Additional support – Counseling, antenatal classes, support organizations for birth trauma, etc. can really help.

After childbirth



  • Providing care – After childbirth, adequate nutrition, exercise are necessary to ensure that your spouse is healthy.


  • Sharing responsibility – Taking care of the newborn can be a difficult and tiring task. For some women, the child can be a reminder of their traumatic experiences. Your spouse needs some time away from her baby. Ensure that you or responsible family members are available to take care of the baby for at least some time.


  • Counseling – Contact a health professional immediately if your spouse develops symptoms of a traumatic birth.

Filed Under: 4 Week

About Paul Banas

Paul Banas is happy married dad of two great kids living in San Francisco. He writes now about kids, new technology and how the two interact for GreatDad.com and for Pregnancy Magazine (pregnancymagazine.com) where he is also the publisher.

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Great Dad Talks is a series of conversations with experts on all aspects of the family adventure. With the perspective that “dads don’t always think like moms,” our mission is to support dad voices and our slightly different approaches to parenting. We’ll try to find solutions to every day challenges like getting kids off the couch and making STEM classes available for both boys and girls. But we’ll also tackle bigger issues when they come. The one main theme will be to support dads in the most important role of their lives that of being a great dad. Connect with us at greatdad.com and watch the video version of these podcasts at YouTube.com/greatdadnews

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Today we delve into the complexities of fatherhood with David Marcus, Ph.D., an expert with over forty years of experience working with families and children. In this enlightening conversation, we explore the essential components of communicating with your child, focusing on the development of a common emotional language. Learn about the four assumptions of emotionality that parents often make and discover strategies to foster a safe and open environment for meaningful conversations at any age.

Check out Dr. Marcus’ website at parentrx.org

Visit these links and embark on the path to becoming the best parent you can be:

– GreatDad.com/coaching 

– GreatDad.com/pq 

– Gratitude course: bit.ly/3NMLDNC  

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