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You are here: Home / Recommends / New member for the Great Fathers of Voicemail: Tiger Woods

New member for the Great Fathers of Voicemail: Tiger Woods

December 8, 2009 by James Dunsford Leave a Comment

How do you tell your son, daughter or the love of your life exactly how you feel about them? "It is impossible to say just what I mean," writes T.S. Eliot in his signature poem The Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufrock. But maybe that’s because he kept on getting interrupted.

That’s why today, we salute you, Fathers of Voicemail. Because when you’ve got something on your mind, a text message, email or face-to-face conversation simply won’t do. You romantics know exactly what you need to say, and gosh darn it, no threat of public humiliation will keep you from saying it.

Tiger Woods

As Tiger Woods knows, there are 1 million ways to say "I love you." But when standard messaging fees apply, brevity means just as much as sincerity. And while affection knows no bounds, sometimes it makes all the difference just to say, "Can you please take your name off your phone?…You gotta do this for me. Huge. Quckly. Bye."

Aw Tiger, I love you too.

Pat O’Brien

Some fathers use more bars in more places to empty their hearts, and their dignity, into a lover’s voicemail box. Sure, writing poetry or a song for a loved one may have worked for the Greeks, but this is the 21st century.

A master of seduction, Pat O’Brien will tell you, only the unbridled freedom of the voice message can make a woman feel special. Because while poems may rhyme, they don’t let your lady know just how f***** crazy you want to get with her.

Alec Baldwin

Finally, as any father who models his parenting off of the Baldwin family will attest, spanking is so 1955. In the modern world, there’s only one way to tell your daughter -"you don’t have the brains or the decency of a human being. I don’t give a damn that you’re 12 years old, or 11 years old, or that you’re a child"- and that’s a scathing voice message.

So hang up your phones and pat yourselves on the back, Fathers of Voicemail, because when you have to get something off your chest, you wait for nothing, except the beep.
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Great Dad Talks

Great Dad Talks is a series of conversations with experts on all aspects of the family adventure. With the perspective that “dads don’t always think like moms,” our mission is to support dad voices and our slightly different approaches to parenting. We’ll try to find solutions to every day challenges like getting kids off the couch and making STEM classes available for both boys and girls. But we’ll also tackle bigger issues when they come. The one main theme will be to support dads in the most important role of their lives that of being a great dad. Connect with us at greatdad.com and watch the video version of these podcasts at YouTube.com/greatdadnews

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From embracing dad jokes to making humor an essential family value, we discuss the challenges and hilarity of parenthood. We cover playful family rituals, the importance of laughing at yourself, and practical tips on bringing more humor—and less stress—into your home.

Check out Gavin’s website at www.gavinbellour.com

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