Time Out is one of the most effective behavior techniques you can use with
children. Although most doctors recommend Time Out for aggressive behaviors such
as hitting or biting, parents sometimes overuse Time Out by choosing this
punishment for just about any infraction their children commit. There are a
number of behaviors that children exhibit during the day that are bothersome,
but don’t reach the level where a person could get hurt or something might be
broken. In this instance, it is helpful to use a lesser punishment, which I call
Time Off. Time Off is an action that grows out of what psychologists call “I”
messages, i.e., “I don’t like it when you…” The types of actions that Time Off
helps control include annoying behaviors such as teasing or being disrespectful.
The difference between Time Out and Time Off is the following: In Time Out, the
child has to sit in a specific location for one minute per year of age. If the
child talks or gets up, the “clock” is reset and Time Out starts over. In Time
Off the child has to go somewhere else in the house and must stop the behavior
that led to the punishment. There is no set time, but the child cannot come back
until he is ready to act normally. As a further incentive to get children to
comply with the punishment, children who do not follow the rules of Time Off
will subsequently have a full-fledged Time Out.
A Variation on Time-Out
Great Dad Talks is a series of conversations with experts on all aspects of the family adventure. With the perspective that “dads don’t always think like moms,” our mission is to support dad voices and our slightly different approaches to parenting. We’ll try to find solutions to every day challenges like getting kids off the couch and making STEM classes available for both boys and girls. But we’ll also tackle bigger issues when they come. The one main theme will be to support dads in the most important role of their lives that of being a great dad. Connect with us at greatdad.com and watch the video version of these podcasts at YouTube.com/greatdadnews
In this episode of Great Dad Talks, I talk with psychotherapist and author Dr. Brian DeRoche (Living a Trigger Free Life) about the neuroscience behind why our kids trigger us and how nervous systems influence each other through co-regulation. Brian explains “emotional influence,” the role of nonverbal cues and facial presence in creating safety, and how repeated disconnection can teach children painful emotional lessons about not mattering.
Whether you’re dealing with tantrums, feeling triggered at home, or just want to connect more deeply with your kids, this interview will give you science-backed guidance for building stronger, happier family bonds.
Check out Brian’s website at www.briandesroches.com
Visit these links and embark on the path to becoming the best parent you can be:
– GreatDad.com/coaching
– GreatDad.com/pq
– Gratitude course: bit.ly/3NMLDNC
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