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Age Groups > Pregnancy > Connecting

Your changing sex life: Sex after pregnancy - Why doesn’t she feel like it?

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It’s been a few months since she delivered and you’re still looking for the libido that’s been missing since late in the pregnancy. And it feels like prom night when you suggest the suggestive: all you get is blank stares and withdrawals. The question on your mind is: is it all over? Is this all that’s left: to adapt yourself to a sexless platonic relationship?

Look closer: like in the movies when the main character has been killed off prematurely, things may not be as they seem. Chances are that your spouse just needs more time or maybe she’s been waiting for you to make the right moves.

Here are a few tips to help you gauge her mood and get her in the back seat of your sex drive:

The ‘when’ question: This isn’t as difficult as it seems: the answer is—when she feels like it! The common standard is generally six weeks. And get her doctor’s opinion before you try anything funny.
Feeling sexy? Of course you are. You’re a man. After pregnancy, women tend to experience sleep deprivation, fatigue, and even depression. They get tired and turned off—but this is only temporary. Be patient.
Believe it or not! The best thing you can do to turn her on is help out with the baby. Seeing her man pushing a stroller is a sexy sight for a woman. Changing a diaper even more so. Go figure.
Be spontaneous: Just because you’re a dad and she’s a mom doesn’t mean you can’t romance her. Leave the baby with the in-laws and sneak out with her to a private room in a hotel. It’s the right time to surprise her with your affections.
It’s the economy, stupid! Try hiring a babysitter (if mom’s ok with it) to get some time off for the two of you to get reacquainted with the joy of sex. But be ready and accepting if she doesn’t feel like it.
Leave the bra on: Breasts spurting baby milk can be a big turn off for many dads. A good idea is to leave the bra on. It’s old fashioned and maybe it’s time you enjoyed that lingerie.

Above all, don’t be a fool and rush right in. Don’t force her and don’t complain when you don’t get nookie. Keep trying but don’t be trying—if you get what we’re saying.

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Article List

	Quotes on Pregnancy and Childbirth
	Your changing sex life: Sex after pregnancy - Why doesn’t she feel like it?
	Your changing sex life - Getting your pregnant wife into the mood for love
	The big O – will an orgasm hurt the pregnancy?
	Prenatal massage
	Prepare for the delivery room
	Going for a babymoon
	Understand Couvade Syndrome
	Bond with the baby
	Cope with your emotions
	Participate in the pregnancy
	Show your spouse you care
	Couples' Baby Showers

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