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Your changing sex life: Sex after pregnancy – Why doesn’t she feel like it?

Author GreatDad Writers
Submitted 16-05-2007

Note: Subscribe now to our newsletter to receive great info for new dads. Also visit GreatDad’s Sex center.

It’s been a few months since she delivered and you’re still
looking for the libido that’s been missing since late in the pregnancy. And it feels like prom night
when you suggest the suggestive: all you get is blank stares and withdrawals. The question on your
mind is: is it all over? Is this all that’s left: to adapt yourself to a sexless platonic

Look closer: like in the movies when the main character has been killed off
prematurely, things may not be as they seem. Chances are that your spouse just needs more time or
maybe she’s been waiting for you to make the right moves.

Here are a few tips to help you
gauge her mood and get her in the back seat of your sex drive:

  • The ‘when’ question: This
    isn’t as difficult as it seems: the answer is—when she feels like it! The common standard is
    generally six weeks. And get her doctor’s opinion before you try anything funny.
  • Feeling sexy? Of course you are. You’re a man. After pregnancy, women tend to
    experience sleep deprivation, fatigue, and even depression. They get tired and turned off—but this
    is only temporary. Be patient.
  • Believe it or not! The best thing you can do to turn her
    on is help out with the baby. Seeing her man pushing a stroller is a sexy sight for a woman.
    Changing a diaper even more so. Go figure.
  • Be spontaneous: Just because you’re a dad
    and she’s a mom doesn’t mean you can’t romance her. Leave the baby with the in-laws and sneak out
    with her to a private room in a hotel. It’s the right time to surprise her with your affections.
  • It’s the economy, stupid! Try hiring a babysitter (if mom’s ok with it) to get some
    time off for the two of you to get reacquainted with the joy of sex. But be ready and accepting if
    she doesn’t feel like it.
  • Leave the bra on: Breasts spurting baby milk can be a big
    turn off for many dads. A good idea is to leave the bra on. It’s old fashioned and maybe it’s time
    you enjoyed that lingerie.

Above all, don’t be a fool and rush right in. Don’t force
her and don’t complain when you don’t get nookie. Keep trying but don’t be trying—if you get what
we’re saying.