• Skip to main content
  • Skip to secondary menu
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Because dads don’t always think like moms™

  • Dad
    • Celebrities
    • Gay Dads
    • Sex
    • Single Dads
  • Pregnancy
    • Labor or Delivery
    • Pregnant Wife
  • Baby
    • Baby Naming
    • Feeding
    • Sleep
    • Toilet Training
  • Kids
  • Teens
  • Activities
    • Local
    • By Age
    • Movie Reviews
    • Celebrations
  • Toys
    • We Recommend
    • Toys
  • Coaching for Dads
  • Great Dad Talks Podcast

When the Door Slams

September 30, 2008 by Joe Kelly Leave a Comment

It’s hard on our fatherly pride when we don’t instinctively know what our adolescent daughters are trying to tell us or when we feel disrespected by how they communicate. When my daughters were teenagers, we had emotionally charged conversations that sometimes resulted in one of them angrily and emotionally (or actually) slamming a door on me. Sometimes, my feelings got hurt and my reaction was, “OK, if you’re gonna be like that, I’ll blow you off, too!”

Fortunately, my wife (a former teen girl herself — and thus a valuable source of information) assured me that such eruptions are normal for teenage girls as they try to discover and hang on to who they are. My growing girls needed to have me hear them out–and they also needed to find safe ways to push away from me. My job was not to drown in my wounded pride and say, “I’ll show you; I’m taking my marbles and going home.” Instead, it was to remain outside that “slammed door” so that when my daughters eventually emerged from their adolescent explosions and snits (which they always did), they knew that I was still available, still interested and still loved them. It is tough to stand there waiting and to open yourself back up when your feelings might once again be hurt. After all, if your daughter is a teenager, there are surely more slammed doors in your future. But, take it from dads who have been down this road already: it is worth it.

A tween or teenage daughter needs us to acknowledge and affirm what she feels and goes through. She may think, “If Dad doesn’t hear what I’m feeling, maybe what I’m feeling and what I’m going through is not important.” But her experiences are important. We must show her that we believe this; and never belittle or dismiss her or her world. In other words, we have to trust her. When we trust what our daughter feels, she learns to trust herself now and later in life.

Much of a girl’s strength is in her voice. By listening to her, you are being true to her voice. That will help her get through the difficulties of her own life and give her courage. When you provide your ears and your presence, you amplify your daughter’s voice and strengthen her belief in herself. It can be painful to listen when she is feeling sad or angry. But you have to have the courage to listen, and the courage to not prevent, deny or abruptly try to end her painful experiences.

                                                                                                                        – Joe Kelly

Joe Kelly is a father, author, blogger, activist, and primary media source on fathering. He has written several books including the best-seller Dads and Daughters.

Filed Under: Authors

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Primary Sidebar

Great Dad Talks

Great Dad Talks
Great Dad Talks

Great Dad Talks is a series of conversations with experts on all aspects of the family adventure. With the perspective that “dads don’t always think like moms,” our mission is to support dad voices and our slightly different approaches to parenting. We’ll try to find solutions to every day challenges like getting kids off the couch and making STEM classes available for both boys and girls. But we’ll also tackle bigger issues when they come. The one main theme will be to support dads in the most important role of their lives that of being a great dad. Connect with us at greatdad.com and watch the video version of these podcasts at YouTube.com/greatdadnews

Audio Player
145. Understanding Children’s Emotional Needs with Dr. David Marcus
Great Dad Talks
145. Understanding Children’s Emotional Needs with Dr. David Marcus
Today we delve into the complexities of fatherhood with David Marcus, Ph.D., an expert with over forty years[...]
  • 0.8
  • 1
  • 1.2
  • 1.5
  • 2
Download
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Linkedin
  • Copy episode link Copied
  • Download
Captions
00:00
00:00
145. Understanding Children’s Emotional Needs with Dr. David Marcus
byPaul Banas

Today we delve into the complexities of fatherhood with David Marcus, Ph.D., an expert with over forty years of experience working with families and children. In this enlightening conversation, we explore the essential components of communicating with your child, focusing on the development of a common emotional language. Learn about the four assumptions of emotionality that parents often make and discover strategies to foster a safe and open environment for meaningful conversations at any age.

Check out Dr. Marcus’ website at parentrx.org

Visit these links and embark on the path to becoming the best parent you can be:

– GreatDad.com/coaching 

– GreatDad.com/pq 

– Gratitude course: bit.ly/3NMLDNC  

50% off for podcast listeners with code PODCAST50

145. Understanding Children’s Emotional Needs with Dr. David Marcus
May 13, 2025
Paul Banas
144. Exploring Mindful Fatherhood with Odeani Mc Bean
May 6, 2025
Paul Banas
143. Overcoming Dad Burnout with Scott Anderson
April 29, 2025
Paul Banas
142. Building Resilient Kids with Dr. Richard Oelberger
April 24, 2025
Paul Banas
141. Exploring Men’s Sexual Health with Dr. Elliot Justin
April 22, 2025
Paul Banas
140. Instilling Values and Financial Literacy with Barclay Roper
April 15, 2025
Paul Banas
139. Adaptive Cooking Tools and Techniques with Douglas Katz
April 8, 2025
Paul Banas
138. Exploring Masculinity and Men’s Groups with Jason Lange
April 1, 2025
Paul Banas
137. Modern Tech for Kids with Damien Schreurs
March 25, 2025
Paul Banas
136. Addressing the Gender Education Gap with Sean Kullman
March 18, 2025
Paul Banas
Search Results placeholder

More to See

Barclay Roper and Paul Banas on Great Dad Talks

Instilling Values and Financial Literacy with Barclay Roper

April 17, 2025 By Paul Banas

Adaptive Cooking Tools and Techniques with Douglas Katz

April 24, 2025 By Paul Banas

Copyright © 2025 . GreatDad