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Are you the real father? Steps to eliminate doubts

Author GreatDad Writers
Submitted 05-01-2011

The possibility that your child may not be yours can cast a serious shadow over family life.  Once you have a nagging doubt then your worries can grow out of control.

The problem for most guys when it comes to paternity is that it is possible to have that element of doubt. The mom’s identity is a forgone conclusion and in most loving relationships, of course, so is the dad’s. But if you have any doubt, then there are a few hints on what to do (and in some cases what not to do).

  • You can usually tell whether there is a possibility that the child may not be yours by the way your partner has been acting or was acting around the time that the baby was conceived. Was she spending nights away at the time, receiving secret calls and sending ‘private’ texts? Of course this is not definitive proof, but if she had no opportunity to meet some else, then the likelihood is that the child is yours.
  • Work out the dates. It doesn’t take a genius to do the math. Your doctor will have advised you if your baby was on time or not. It is not a definite answer by any stretch of the imagination but it will give you an indication.
  • Don’t listen to rumor. If people in your social circle are gossiping about your child’s paternity, try to ignore it. There are many reasons people like to make trouble. Listen to your partner, not local gossip.
  • Just because your child has red hair or brown eyes and you don’t, doesn’t mean that he or she is not your baby. Genetics can be bizarre and sometimes, distinctive features can skip a generation or two.
  • Most importantly, if you are seriously unsure whether your child truly is yours, then have a DNA test done at a reputable clinic and have it done NOW! The longer you wait the more complicated it will be to overcome if you find out that the baby is not yours.

Whatever the truth, the fact that you have suspicions indicates that there are underlying problems within your relationship that need to be sorted out because, let’s face it, in a truly loving relationship, such doubts could not exist.

Lingering doubts will only sour your partnership and new parenthood, so knowing the truth is always the best way to move forward for all concerned.