Tricks to avoid changing a diaper

There's nothing quite like a new baby. The possibilities for his future are limitless. This child is a tiny reflection of you, from his eyes, to his hands to his ungodly caustic smells. What a chip off the old block he is!

Bearing witness to the earth-shattering disasters that can take place in a baby's diaper is enough to make the weak-hearted faint. We've devised a few sneaky tips you can pull to avoid diaper duty.

1. If you don't want to be asked to do something often, do a horrible job of it on purpose. Once your wife sees the mess you've made of the living room and the baby, chances are she'll think twice before asking you to change that diaper again. Success!

2. Carefully observe your child's digestive habits. If you feed your kid similar foods at similar times of the day, you'll likely find a pattern developing in his toilet times. With a little bit of trend analysis, you can make sure that you're wife or mother is always holding the baby at 12:17 pm. Success!

3. Hire a professional. There's a recession going on and people are desperate for work, any kind of work. Find an experienced maternal figure you can trust and pay her to handle the job you're not willing to do yourself. Not only will you be avoiding diaper duty, but you'll also be supporting the economy. Double success!

All joking aside, learning to change your kid's diaper is all part of being a great dad. If you want to be a successful father, learn to take care of this sometimes frightening chore. The love you have for your child should be enough to stifle any cringing long enough to get the job done. Who knows? One day they may be changing your diaper…