In this episode, you will be able to:
- Understand the impact of trauma on children and the importance of a safe, healing environment through Scotty Aemis’s personal journey.
- Learn key strategies for nurturing traumatized children, such as the role of trauma-informed schools and therapy.
- Discover actionable advice for fathers on building trust and safe relationships with their children.
- Hear Scotty Aemis’s insights on balancing authority in parenting and the significance of patience in the healing process.
- Gain awareness of ongoing support needs for children dealing with trauma, with a focus on long-term recovery and growth.
I recently had the profound opportunity to sit down with Scotty Aemis, who brought a wealth of knowledge to the table about something many of us may face but are often unprepared for: parenting children with trauma. Scotty, a father who adopted two children from Russia, shared his journey and the critical importance of creating a nurturing environment for healing.
The Wake-Up Call in Court
Scotty shared a turning point in his parenting approach that came from an unexpected place: the courtroom. He realized, “Sometimes the universe sends you a message in the most unusual of places,” and for Scotty, it was during a court hearing that he understood the depth of change needed in his approach to parenting children with trauma.
The Foundation of Safety
Our conversation highlighted key points on establishing a safe environment:
- It’s essential to change scouting troops, churches, and choose sports with understanding coaches when necessary to create that secure space.
- Creating safe spaces is not coddling – As Scotty put it, “Failure is part of growing up, but there’s plenty of time for that later on.”
- Recognizing that it’s not the child’s fault if they’re affected by trauma – “We must be the architects of a healing environment,” Scotty emphasized.
Our Role as Protectors
I wholeheartedly agreed with Scotty on our role as fathers. We’re not just caretakers; we’re protectors. “**Shielding our kids from mature content until they’re ready** is a crucial part of our job.” And just as important, we talked about being careful with **video games and social media** as a false solution, as silence isn’t always indicative of wellness.
Nurturing with Resources
Scotty’s commitment to helping families like his own is evident in his work:
- He offers a how-to guide based on personal experience, with all proceeds supporting the Lakeside School.
- His organization provides free resources, including therapy sessions.
- He underscores the healing power of relationships in child trauma recovery.
Recognizing Trauma in Our Midst
Scotty provided us with some profound insights:
- It’s crucial for schools to understand trauma and not to retraumatize children.
- He advocates for seeking trauma-trained therapists instead of conventional behavior modification methods.
- Trauma identification in Adoptive children is complex, and trauma is not exclusive to adoptees.
The Long Road to Healing
As a father, Scotty taught us that healing is a long-term journey. Here are some of his valuable pieces of advice for us dads:
- Create positive and safe relationships for our children, framing ourselves as approachable figures of authority.
- Get the kids involved in activities where they can form safe bonds with leaders and mentors.
- Understand that trauma can resurface, and persistent guidance and support are imperative.
Final Thoughts
“Taking control doesn’t mean doing it all on your own,” Scotty reminded us. “It means being proactive in surrounding your children with the right people and environments.”
Our talk with Scotty Aemis was eye-opening. To all the dads out there, I urge you to tune in, listen closely, and remember, “Healing takes time, and the progression is not linear. Be patient, and be there for the long haul.”
Visit Scotty’s website for further resources and support, and if you wish to empower other families in their journey, consider purchasing his book. Together, we can make a difference in the lives of our children.
Scotty Aemis
Advocate, Author, and Speaker
GreatDad.com/coaching
GreatDad.com/pq
Gratitude course
50% off for podcast listeners with code PODCAST50