- Lay down the “house rules:” Situations will undoubtedly arise that require you to correct your visitor’s behavior. Rather than simply reprimanding him, says Wilford, remember that the rules may be different in his house and that he needs to understand the reasoning behind your requests. Instead of saying, “Don’t eat in there!” for instance, say, “We only eat in the kitchen at our house.” If he’s running down the stairs, say “Those stairs are slippery, so please walk carefully on them.” This cuts down on the reprimands while still keeping the kids in line
- Let kids work out their own problems: If the children don’t see eye-to-eye on something, resist the urge jump in right away. Small disagreements seldom last long, and if you hang back you’ll often find that the kids work out their own resolution
- Intervene rarely, but firmly: If, however, a conflict is escalating into put-downs or physical confrontation, it’s time to step in. Remain calm and make firm statements like, “I can’t let you do that to Natalie.” Remind both parties that words and actions that hurt are not acceptable, and then coach the kids on coming up with a compromise to the original problem. If the fighting continues, separate the children for a while or introduce a new activity that’s less likely to cause conflict.
Resolving conflicts during Playdates
Great Dad Talks
Great Dad Talks is a series of conversations with experts on all aspects of the family adventure. With the perspective that “dads don’t always think like moms,” our mission is to support dad voices and our slightly different approaches to parenting. We’ll try to find solutions to every day challenges like getting kids off the couch and making STEM classes available for both boys and girls. But we’ll also tackle bigger issues when they come. The one main theme will be to support dads in the most important role of their lives that of being a great dad. Connect with us at greatdad.com and watch the video version of these podcasts at YouTube.com/greatdadnews
170. Understanding Emotional Influence in Parenting with Dr. Brian Des Roches
In this episode of Great Dad Talks, I talk with psychotherapist and author Dr. Brian DeRoche (Living a Trigger Free Life) about the neuroscience behind why our kids trigger us and how nervous systems influence each other through co-regulation. Brian explains “emotional influence,” the role of nonverbal cues and facial presence in creating safety, and how repeated disconnection can teach children painful emotional lessons about not mattering.
Whether you’re dealing with tantrums, feeling triggered at home, or just want to connect more deeply with your kids, this interview will give you science-backed guidance for building stronger, happier family bonds.
Check out Brian’s website at www.briandesroches.com
Visit these links and embark on the path to becoming the best parent you can be:
– GreatDad.com/coaching
– GreatDad.com/pq
– Gratitude course: bit.ly/3NMLDNC
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