Taking away the privileges

The problem that fathers often face with taking away privileges when their children misbehave is that it’s easy to get stuck in a power struggle with them. You take away a privilege, they get angry and act out more, and you take away yet another privilege. What happens is that the privileges often run out too quick and instead of the cooperation and self-discipline you’d hoped for, you’re left with animosity, resentment, and more misbehavior.

That’s not to say that privilege revoking doesn’t have its time and place, of course. But when you take away the occasional privilege, make it immediate, directly related to the misbehavior, and short-lived. Remove the toy truck your youngsters throw at their sibling, for instance, or unplug the television for the evening if they turn it on after they have been told not to.